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Heartbreaking Escape To Canada

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Casa Paloma

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The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The re-election of President Bush is prompting the exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray and agree with Bill O'Reilly. Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night.

"I went out to milk the cows the other day and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. "He asked if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he said. "The liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't give milk." Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet libeals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves.

"A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a drop of drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though."

When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about the Bush administration establishing re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR. In the days since the election, liberals have turned to sometimes ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers. "If they can't identify the accordian player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age," an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies. "I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history majors does one country need?"

In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada, Vice President Dick Cheney met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the administration would take steps to reassure liberals, a source close to Cheney said. "We're going to have some Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we might put some endangered species on postage stamps. The president is determined to reach out."
 

ranchwife

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LOL!!! considered moving to canada myself, but only because it is beautiful country, they also need nurses (hopefully) and i like the people!!! :D :D :D
 

Cal

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Don't let 'em stay unless they get neutered first. Would be terrible if they crossbred with the liberals you've already got. Might create some resistant new hybrid.
 

Steve

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I have a 4X4 that I'm willing to run a few of them across the border with, as long as they can listen to Country music,

in fact if there is to many I'll even weld on a cattle guard and run a few of them over.:twisted:

I would recommend rounding them up and putting them on a slow boat to France, as they are really unproductive.

Maybe we could have a citizen swap with Mexico, trade some good workers for a few liberals.

Either way thanks for the post, I've already e-mailed it out, :clap:
 
A

Anonymous

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Heard on the radio today that the TV viewer numbers for the Academy Awards was at a record low- and that most viewers were from big city areas... Maybe we can continue to get the word out to the Hollywood crowd that they don't fit anymore and more of them will go to Canada......
 

Faster horses

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We didn't watch the Acadamy Awards either. Most of those wierd-o-s are too far out for us!! But I heard a bit on Laura Ingrams talk show today about Chris Rock going into a big anti-Bush spiel and that he will probably never be asked to host the Awards again.

Did anyone hear anything on that? I can't imagine anything anti-Bush would upset that crowd.
 

frenchie

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Oldtimer said:
Heard on the radio today that the TV viewer numbers for the Academy Awards was at a record low- and that most viewers were from big city areas... Maybe we can continue to get the word out to the Hollywood crowd that they don't fit anymore and more of them will go to Canada......

Oldtimer .. :mad: :mad: :mad: .keep your clowns at home...We don,t need anymore of those [email protected]@***U&^^&^%^%#@ arab loving turbin headed s.o.b.s liberals.They are yer problem take them out and put them out of their misery...
 

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