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Hollywood Squares

Juan

Well-known member
> > >
> > >
> > >Hollywood Squares
> > >
> > >If you remember the Original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this may
> > >bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are from the
> > >days when " Hollywood Squares" game show responses were spontaneous, not
> > >scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the
> > >questions, of course..
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >Q. Do female frogs croak?
> > >A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
> > >
> > >
> > >Q.If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you
> > >be?
> > >A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
> > >
> > >
> > >Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
> > >A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
> > >
> > >
> > >Q.You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a
> > >woman?
> > >A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
> > >
> > >
> > >Q. According to Cosmopolitain, if you meet a stranger at a party and you
> > >think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's
> > >married?
> > >A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning.
> > >
> > >
> > >Q.Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
> > >A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
> > >
> > >
> > >Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"?
> > >A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.
> > >
> > >
> > >Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"?
> > >A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.
> > >
> > >
> > >Q.As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands
> > >while talking?
> > >A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll
> > >give you a gesture you' ll never forget.
> > >
> > >
> > >Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
> > >A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
> > >
> > >
> > >Q.Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get
> > >any during the first year?
> > >A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
> > >
> > >
> > >Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
> > >A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
> > >
> > >
> > >Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps.
> > >One is politics, what is the other?
> > >A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
> > >
> > >
> > >Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
> > >A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.
> > >
> > >
> > >Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
> > >A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
> > >
> > >
> > >Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose
> > >do?
> > >A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
> > >
> > >
> > >Q.If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
> > >A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
> > >
> > >
> > >Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into
> >the
> > >habit of kissing a lot of people?
> > >A.. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
> > >
> > >
> > >Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
> > >A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.
> > >
> > >
> > >Q.Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head,
> > >what was he trying to do?
> > >A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
> > >
> > >
> > >Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your
> > >elephant?
> > >A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
> > >
> > >
> > >Q.When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
> > >A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.
> > >
> > >
> > >Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and
> >has
> > >actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
> > >A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
> > >
> > >
> > >Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in
> > >bed?
> > >A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh
 

Red Robin

Well-known member
Those guys were funny. Crude, but funny.
This one cracks me up. :lol:

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose
> > >do?
> > >A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
 

Hanta Yo

Well-known member
My grade school years...when I was home sick I watched Hollywood Squares on our black-and-white TV. Didn't always get the "jist" of some of the jokes, but I sure enjoyed the game.

I also watched the Match Game, I loved Let's Make a Deal. Boy some of those women were a little out of control (in THOSE days, out of control) and would jump up and scream and make idiots of themselves. They helped make the game more fun :lol:

Thanks for posting, sure brought memories :lol:
 

the_jersey_lilly_2000

Well-known member
Hanta Yo said:
My grade school years...when I was home sick I watched Hollywood Squares on our black-and-white TV. Didn't always get the "jist" of some of the jokes, but I sure enjoyed the game.

I also watched the Match Game, I loved Let's Make a Deal. Boy some of those women were a little out of control (in THOSE days, out of control) and would jump up and scream and make idiots of themselves. They helped make the game more fun :lol:

Thanks for posting, sure brought memories :lol:

I always thought my mama woulda been the perfect candidate for Lets Make a Deal. I kid you not that woman carried EVERYTHING in her purse. We could break down on the side of the road and dad not have a tool one, and mama could dig somethin outta her purse that he could work on the car with....and make it go!!!
 

Hanta Yo

Well-known member
the_jersey_lilly_2000 said:
Hanta Yo said:
My grade school years...when I was home sick I watched Hollywood Squares on our black-and-white TV. Didn't always get the "jist" of some of the jokes, but I sure enjoyed the game.

I also watched the Match Game, I loved Let's Make a Deal. Boy some of those women were a little out of control (in THOSE days, out of control) and would jump up and scream and make idiots of themselves. They helped make the game more fun :lol:

Thanks for posting, sure brought memories :lol:

I always thought my mama woulda been the perfect candidate for Lets Make a Deal. I kid you not that woman carried EVERYTHING in her purse. We could break down on the side of the road and dad not have a tool one, and mama could dig somethin outta her purse that he could work on the car with....and make it go!!!

:lol2: :lol2:
 
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