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Home care for the Elderly

Trinity man

Well-known member
Well I have been put into a spot that I never thought I would be put into. My mother has Alzheimer's and I have to get someone to stay with her or she will have to go into a home. I want to keep her home for has long as I can, but the money thing keeps coming around and if we put her into home the government will take the ranch and everything they have work so hard for. My Dad has been doing his best to take care of her, but now it has got to be more than he can do. I have been talking to home care people and the price is a little more than we can afford at this time. Does anyone know is there anything out there that will help with this? :(

My dad is having a hard time with this. They have been married 63 years this past May and he sees her like this and it just about drives him to crying.

Please keep her in your prayers.
 

Faster horses

Well-known member
That is a terrible situation.
Prayers headed your way.

I wish I had an answer for you, but I don't. I hope someone
does and we can all learn something here.
 

Yanuck

Well-known member
have you talked to a Medicaid/Medicare lawyer about your options? it would be well worth the money if you haven't
 

Trinity man

Well-known member
Yanuck said:
have you talked to a Medicaid/Medicare lawyer about your options? it would be well worth the money if you haven't

No not yet. Eldery CPS is coming out the week to check out the house and talk to me about my options. I am worried about what they will say. My parents doctor told me to don't worry about it they will help me. But from everyone I have talk to said to watch out I may lose everything. My dad is this in good mind and can take care of himself, its just my mother and keeping her from walking off. Today she got out of the house on him and we found her 2 hrs later. She was ok, she just said she just wanted to go for a walk. Its these things that drive me nuts and CPS may take her away about this to if we can't stop her.
 

loomixguy

Well-known member
This is still fresh enough in my mind to be painful. My mom passed away last November. For the last 3 years of her life, she lived with us off and on, as her health dictated, the last time being for 8 months until she died. I have a brother here in town and a sister 20 miles away who were of ZERO help whatsoever, and another brother 300 miles away who refused to come at the end, even though she had been asking for him for several days. (all that is a pretty good reason why I have no use now for any of my siblings.) My wife and kids and I did everything for her, but she had her mind completely until the last 3 hours of her life. The one thing I found out too late about was hospice, which in Nebraska is where folks come in and help out, and Medicare picks up the tab....but one must be "terminal" before this happens. (Aren't we all "terminal"?)

You might check with the administrator of your local nursing home, they may know of resources or programs that may be of help...same goes with your local hospital folks or doctors. There is a gal here who has a couple of people she helps, whether its cleaning the house, shopping for groceries, taking them to doctor appointments, etc. I think she charges $15/hour.

I am sure there are programs that can help you, you just need to do some detective work to find them. This is a time in your life that can be draining...physically, emotionally, and financially. There is help out there, and, if not, and you need a sounding board or just to vent, PM me. Been there, done that, and it ain't for sissies. Take care.
 

I Luv Herfrds

Well-known member
My Grandfather had the same thing. grandma kept him home as long as she could. He would walk away from the house, but the neighbors were always on the look out for him and would just walk with him. He would go to different stores in the area. The employees would call and let her know where he was and walk him home.
She finally had to put him in a home after he got violent.
That place was a nightmare. He walked away several times.

I would honestly not put any person in a nursing home.

there are different Alzheimer's support groups out there.
look at Home Nursing Care. Used to have it up here until the funding was cut. Call your local county health department and see if it is offered.

Peace Hospice is awesome. We had them with both my in law's passing. Talk to your Mom's doctor about it. They can order it. Might have some suggestions too.
We had Hospice volunteers who will come out for a couple of hours and stay with your family member to give you a break.
 

loomixguy

Well-known member
I Luv Herfrds said:
I would honestly not put any person in a nursing home..

AMEN!!!! Not if you love them!

Well, there's one or two here that it wouldn't bother me too much to drop them off & drive away. :wink:
 

Trinity man

Well-known member
I have been crying to praising the Lord and findly got some help from Human Health Services. They are going to check out the income they have, when what Medicare don't cover they have local money that can cover for inhome care. When while we was sitting in the hospital for my dad x-ray a young girl seen that was just about to lose it, because of what my mother was saying about me wanted my phone number and my name. She is a home sitting for people with Alzheimer and her family has land next to my dad's place and some of her family members would fish in our lake. She offer to sit with mom at nights, when I ask how much she said don't worry about it money is not a problem. I am about to break down now atfter typing this. Thanks for all the help.
 

Faster horses

Well-known member
Prayers have been answered with an angel, sounds like.
Best of luck to you and your family. Keep us posted.
I'll keep your family in my prayers. May you find some
peace of mind with this. Thanks for the update.
 

MsSage

Well-known member
Try this website they might have a local chapter near you.

http://www.alz.org/index.asp

Its been many years but I still remember Carol the lady I worked with at the bank. Her mother had this and they tried to keep her in her house for as long as they could. Times have changed and there are many more support groups and devices to help these people who are suffering from this terrible ordeal.

Sending prayers to you and those who will help your family.
 

flatlander

Active member
My father died with this several years ago. We knew what was coming down the road and did some estate planning with a very competent attorney.

I can tell you that 5 yrs prior planning was very important for our family.

Medicare/Medicade/social security represenatives are not necessarily your best resource. Go see a good attorney.
 

I Luv Herfrds

Well-known member
Flatlander is right. See a lawyer fast.

My grandma has told me that after she passes to expect part of her estate to go to pay Medicare or Medicaid for the nursing home care.
 

balestabber

Well-known member
and be careful what papers u sign in a stressful or hastey moment.
they don't seem to harass me as much when they see my attorneys signature.
i try not to write MY name down more than needed.
 

Faster horses

Well-known member
ILH,the way I understand it, her estate will go to pay the nursing home before she passes. The only way to avoid that is to have her property in someone else's name 3 years before she goes into the nursing home.

Someone correct me if I'm wrong. I wonder if it is different in different
states, also.
 

Cowpuncher

Well-known member
This is a sensitive subject.

If you are a total financial failure, you can sign up for medicaid and the taxpayers will pay for your care in a nursing home.

If you have been successful and have resources, you have the option of hiring in-home care or a nursing home. (Some of these are not too bad, rather small and individual care is given, but not at all cheap.)

So if you are able to pay for such care, you will also be paying for those who cannot afford to through the tax system - where in the current climate, the cost is simply added to the national debt.

The cost of end of life care is high - probably higher than total income the individual has earned in their entire life. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that a society cannot long prevail with such a system.

Personally, I do not have a solution other than to compel everyone to have long-term insurance, either public or private from an early age. But that is not going to happen.

I have seen in a local nursing home hundreds of old folks awating the grim reaper in various states of decline. I have also seen younger people mained in accidents that will cost several million dollars in care before they check out.

Personally, I attended public school, went to college on the GI bill and proceeded to accumulate enough resources to ensure end-of-life care for myself and my wife (who is probably going to need it).

Over the years. I have paid a whole bunch of taxes - probably in the seven digits. I don't expect anyone else to share my burden.
But what if I were not so fortunate?

No easy answers!!!. :cry: :cry: :cry:
 

balestabber

Well-known member
my father has passed,but my mother nows pays a premium on a special
nursing home care policy other than medicade/medicare.
getting property in someone elses name,is why estate planning is so important and can take time.but this is where an attorney is valuable with trust and wills---living or passed :( :(
 

jodywy

Well-known member
Dad passed away 3 years ago. The last couple his Alzheimer's got really bad. Mom sign up for hospice they were suppose to show up for 3 to 4 hour 5 days a week to give mom a break….was more like 2 hours once a week and they bring Dads meds for her. Got so the only way we could handle dad was to dope his oat meal every morning, or rub some salve on his arms. Hospice showed up on a couple emergencies like Dad running away.
Thing that got me was Medicare and the insurance paid hospice more then $3000 a month for service, They wanted him in the rest home at the hospital so they could attach the ranch. We held strong and kept him home, it was hard at times but then who said life will always be easy.
 

flcowgirl5491

Well-known member
Another thing you can use is a GPS unit on her wrist or in her shoes. They have them now and the child or "older person turned into a child" doesn't have to know they are wearing it. That, combined with help from your angel and others will enable you to know where she is all the time.
I have been through this and it is heart breaking.
 

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