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How do I become illegal?

Liberty Belle

Well-known member
The Honorable Paul S. Sarbanes
309 Hart Senate Office Building
Washington DC , 20510

Dear Senator Sarbanes,

As a native Marylander and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Immigration and Naturalization Service in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you. My reasons for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stem from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, what I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years.

I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out. Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of the last five years taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent return for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005 and I estimated a gross savings approximating $72,000. After the fine this would yield me a net savings of $70,000.

In addition, I would reap the other benefits of being an illegal alien such as free healthcare, avoidance of paying Social Security taxes, buying automobile insurance, serving on jury panels, etc.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative.

Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,

Pete McGlaughlin
 

Mrs.Greg

Well-known member
Red Robin said:
LB if you move to Arkansas, I swear to you I'll vote for you the rest of my natural life...till death do us part. :lol:
RR,liberty probably likes to live where theres electricity :p
 

Red Robin

Well-known member
We are pretty technically advanced here in the "Natural State" Mrs Greg. We may not have electricity but that doesn't prevent us from fuel production. Here is a picture of a couple friends and me making DDG for my calves.

barleycorn_int_photo_shiloh5_lg.jpg


BTW I've known a few of these fellas over the years. No education to speak of but they knew abortion was wrong, homosexuality was wrong, and that gardening without clothes on keeps your clothes clean longer :wink: . LB would fit right in.
 

Mrs.Greg

Well-known member
LOL RR,I guess one smarty pant post beserves a smarty pant answer. I'm interested in the gardening nude though...might reroute all the oilfield traffic we get down our road :twisted:
 

Liberty Belle

Well-known member
Red Robin wrote:
LB if you move to Arkansas, I swear to you I'll vote for you the rest of my natural life...till death do us part.

We are pretty technically advanced here in the "Natural State" Mrs Greg. We may not have electricity but that doesn't prevent us from fuel production. Here is a picture of a couple friends and me making DDG for my calves.

BTW I've known a few of these fellas over the years. No education to speak of but they knew abortion was wrong, homosexuality was wrong, and that gardening without clothes on keeps your clothes clean longer . LB would fit right in.

Ya know, Red, I think I would fit in with your crowd. Look's like that's my grandpa's pal, WO Brengle on the left, his old crony, Sam Marty, there in the middle and Grandpa Clem White with the shootin' iron. I think this was taken in the Slim Buttes about 1928, just before Sam got sent to the big house for making his happy medicine.

How about it koj and Tap? Any of these fellas look familiar to you? :D
 
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