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How fights start ...

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E

efb

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My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, " What's on TV ?"
I said, " Dust"

And then the fight started ....



My wife and I were watching " Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, " Do you want to have sex?"
"No" she answered.
I then asked, " Is that you final answer ?"
" Yes"
So I said, " Then I'd like to phone a friend .."

And then the fight started...





My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, " I'd like something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds"

I bought her a bathroom scale.

And then the fight started ...




My wife and I were sitting at a table at my school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, " Do you know her?"

Yes, I sighed, She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.

" My God !," says my wife, who would think a person could go on celebrating that long ?

And then the fight started .....



 
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, " What's on TV ?"
I said, " Dust"

And then the fight started ....
Click to expand...

I actually said that to my wife a few days back- she walked out of the room- came back with a roll of paper towels, the Enddust, and the Windex- threw them in my lap- and walked out again...

I guess I showed her who was boss around here :???: :wink: :lol:
 

A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband, " I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment ."

The husband replied, " your eyesight's near perfect."

And then the fight started ...
 
Boy you guy's got it tough, around my place I RUN THE SHOW!!



yep, I run the vaccum,the dishwasher,the duster,washer dryer, pretty much the whole show!
:D :D
 
A few years ago my wife at the time suggested she would like to try changing "position's" for the evening :shock: :D :D

Yep she thought she could lie on the couch, fart and fiddle with the remote, while I did the dishes :lol: :lol:

And then the fight started...
 
The other day I told my wife she was getting behind with her chores. I told her the house was to be cleaned, dishes washed, the cooking done and laundry washed. And I told her this was all her responsibility and she should start taking it more seriously. The first day I didn't see anything and the second day I didn't see anything but by the third day some of the swelling had gone down so I could see a little out of my left eye.
 

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my drivers license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, Unbutton you shirt. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, You should have dropped your pants, You might have gotten disability too.

And then the fight started .

 
God said, "Adam, I want you to do something for Me."



Adam said, "Gladly, Lord, what do You want me to do?"



God said, "Go down into that valley."



Adam said, "What's a valley?"



God explained it to him.



Then God said, "Cross the river."



Adam said, "What's a river?"



God explained that to him, and then said, "Go over to the hill...."



Adam said, "What is a hill?"



So, God explained to Adam what a hill was.



He told Adam, "On the other side of the hill you will find a cave."



Adam said, "What's a cave?"



After God explained, He said, "In the cave you will find a woman."



Adam said, "What's a woman?"



So God explained that to him, too.



Then, God said, "I want you to reproduce."



Adam said, "How do I do that?"



God first said (under His breath), "Geez....."



And then, just like everything else, God explained that to Adam as well.



So, Adam goes down into the valley, across the river, and over the hill, into the cave, and finds the woman....



Then, in about five minutes, he was back.



God, His patience wearing thin, said angrily, "What is it now?"





And Adam said....



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(YOU"RE GOING TO LOVE THIS!!!!!!)



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"What's a headache?"
 

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