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How to cook the perfect pot roast-need to pain the kitchen

Julie

Well-known member
This was written by a good friend of mine --we use her stories at the paper when the regular Wed. columnist (now 83ish) fails to send us one.
Welda is a gifted story teller, and yep, it's the truth!!

How to cook the perfect pot roast and have a reason to paint the kitchen
By: Welda McKinley Grider


Perfect Pot Roast

1. Put roast in pan with water.

2. Set oven as high as it will go for a period of time. Thawed meat - 30-45 minutes. Frozen solid meat 1 hour and 15 minutes.

3. Turn off oven and DO NOT OPEN OVEN DOOR. Your roast will be tender, juicy and ready to eat in about 3 hours.

Reason to paint the kitchen


1. Forget step number 3.

The plan in itself is fool proof. If you don't get home within 3 hours, the roast will continue to stay warm and delicious. If it does cool, you need only to turn on some heat while you cook the vegetables, set the table, put in a load of laundry, fold some clothes, empty the dishwasher, sweep the floor, locate your husband's house shoes, yell at your kid to empty the trash, locate the remote for your husband, let the dog in, empty the trash yourself, let the dog out and find out why your husband can't get his emails and whatever else you do to unwind from a busy day.

It is also a good idea to periodically make sure the smoke detectors work and never mind what my family says, supper is not always served when the smoke detector goes off. Sometimes I ignore the buggers.

One morning last summer, I did put in a pot roast and I did forget the ever vital step number 3. About "noonish" it occurred to me that probably my house had burnt to the ground. One of a thousand good things about living on a ranch is there are no neighbors. This also means there is no one to call to send over and check the pot roast.

I read recently that animals can always predict impending disaster. I have to say that must be true. When I drove up I could hear the smoke alarms screaming and all of my smart dogs were facing the house and barking up a storm, warning of impending disaster.

My heart sank when I could see smoke billowing out the open windows. The good news is thanks to those wonderful roast pans that ranch women use, there was no fire. When the roast pan was finally cleaned out it was still useable.

Note to engineers: Make bomb shelters out of whatever roasting pans are made of.


lso good news. All smoke detectors in the house work perfectly.

Another handy dandy housekeeping tip: Burnt-on items will come clean with a mixture of vinegar and Clorox. The fumes are poisonous so care must be used. (Frankly that was the least of my worries but I feel the need to warn the unsuspecting housewife).

So for more than a year, I have considered the fact the kitchen must be painted and probably the rest of the house too. I generally could talk myself out of this idea citing my hobbies which include but are not limited to balancing bank accounts, cleaning house, doing both the ranch books and the books for my title company, laundry, mopping the floor, brushing up on Roberts Rule of Order newly revised and reading the various new laws pertaining to the ranching industry, and/or the title business all of which I do in my spare time which is limited to weekends.

However, it occurred to me that I was going to have to set aside my hobbies for one weekend and get the kitchen painted. I had thought that perhaps there would be a weekend where both my husband and child were gone but alas, that didn't happen. I'll admit they were pretty understanding about eating on a table covered by a bed sheet and having the fridge, the hutch and that cool old stove that weighs just under 6 tons out in the middle of the room but, none the less, it was a pain.

Painting Tip: Old bed sheets are far better as drop cloths than plastic.

I learned several things:

· The blue painters tape is wonderful on most surfaces but will take the wall paper with it when you peel it off.

· The idiot that put up the wall paper trim in this house obviously did it wrong because the paper stuck to the wall. (Yes, that idiot was me.)

Myth Buster: Don't believe all you read by email. Pure vodka will NOT remove wallpaper stuck to the wall, but pure rubbing alcohol will.

I can gladly report that my kitchen is again white.

The only real mishaps were that the electricity went out, we ran out of water and the basset hound stepped in the paint tray. Water for clean up is fairly vital if the basset hound steps in the paint.

My personal suggestion for mopping floors and painting ceilings is oldie rock music. There is a time and place for country music. If your dog dies, if you want to cry or if your husband runs off with your best friend - things like that, but if you need inspiration and energy, you need something you can belt out at the top of your lungs - like Janis Joplin singing "Take another piece of my heart."

The white kitchen can be viewed by the public by appointment only. All unused oldie rock music CDs may be donated to Welda McKinley Grider.
 

nr

Well-known member
What a fun read that was :clap: :clap: She has the knack!
But one question: have you tried her pot roast recipe?
It didn't state how many pounds the roast was?
Maybe that is insignificant when you're dealing with charcoal?
 

Julie

Well-known member
I have tried the method and it works well (as long as you remember to turn the stove off :) )

4-5 pound roasts are what I've used....scared to use smaller :)
Can always good it MORE if needed :)
 
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