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Hurry, before it starts!

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fedup2

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My disclaimer: No personal opinions expressed or implied! Just sharing a little humor! :lol:

A man comes home from work, sits down in his favorite chair, turns on the TV, and says to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer before it starts." She's puzzled but goes and gets him a beer anyway. The guy quickly downs the beer and says, "Quick, bring me another cold one. It's about to start".
His wife huffs a little but still gets him another beer. "One more before
it starts!" the husband yells out after finishing off the second can.

"That's it!" his wife screams. "I cook and clean and wash and iron all day
long. Then you waltz in here, flop your fat ass down, and expect me to run around like your slave! If you think that's how it works, you've got
another thing coming!"

"Damn," mutters the husband "It started."
 

ranchwife

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dang good thing you started this off with a "disclaimer" :wink:
this is one joke the hubby will NOT be reading!~!! :D
 

fedup2

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Okay, here is one for the ladies. (to kinda even things out! :lol: .

Fifteen things to pass on to your daughters

1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.

2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks-out? You shut the door behind him.

3. If they can put a man on the moon -- they should put them all up there.

4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.

5. Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway.

6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so we can tell them apart.

7. Definition of a bachelor; a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

9. Best way to get men to do something, is to suggest they are too old for it.

10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.

12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.

13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him cheque books.

14. Remember, a sense of humour does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.

15. Sadly, all men are created equal
 

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