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I Miss Bill Clinton

Liberty Belle

Well-known member
I know that surprises many of you, but doggone, Clinton sure gave us a lot to talk about. The media loved him even more than they hate Bush and, although they gave him a pass on his many misdeeds, they were just gossipy enough to let us know what he was up to, at least part of the time. He was great fodder for late-night TV and that's where this came from. It doesn't matter what party you belong to - this is hilarious.

From a show on Canadian TV, there was a black comedian who said he misses Bill Clinton.

"Yep, that's right - I miss Bill Clinton! He was the closest thing we ever got to having a black man as President.
Number 1 - He played the sax.
Number 2 - He smoked weed.
Number 3 - He had his way with ugly white women.

Even now? Look at him... his wife works, and he doesn't! And, he gets a check from the government every month. Manufacturers announced today that they will be stocking America's shelves this week with "Clinton Soup," in honor of one of the nations' most distinguished men. It consists primarily of a weenie in hot water.

Chrysler Corporation is adding a new car to its line to honor Bill Clinton. The Dodge Drafter will be built in Canada.

When asked what he thought about foreign affairs, Clinton replied, "I don't know, I never had one."

The Clinton revised judicial oath: "I solemnly swear to tell the truth as I know it, the whole truth as I believe it to be, and nothing but what I think you need to know."

Clinton will be recorded in history as the only President to do Hanky Panky between Bushes."
 

Goodpasture

Well-known member
TheDog.gif
 

IL Rancher

Well-known member
on XM Xllaughattack while driving around.. I think it is suppossed to be a station of all canadian comedians and it is fairly humorous..
 
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Anonymous

Guest
English Assignment

Students in a college English class were given an assignment to read two books, "Titanic" and "My Life," by Bill Clinton and turn in book reports. One creative student turned in the following book report, stating they were nearly identical stories. His professor had a sense of humor and gave the student an A+ for his report:


Titanic: $29.99

Clinton: $29.99
--------
Titanic: Over three hours to read

Clinton: Over three hours to read
---------
Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and
subsequent catastrophe.

Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and
subsequent catastrophe.
-----------
Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.

Clinton: Bill is a bullshit artist.
----------
Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.

Clinton: Ditto for Bill.
----------
Titanic: During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.

Clinton: Ditto for Monica.
---------
Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.

Clinton: Let's not go there.
---------
Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewelry.

Clinton: Monica is forced to return her gifts.
---------
Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.

Clinton: Clinton doesn't remember jack.
---------
Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.

Clinton: Monica... oh, let's not go there either.
----------
Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death.

Clinton: Bill goes home to Hillary ... basically the same thing.
 

jigs

Well-known member
Oldtimer said:
Clinton: Bill goes home to Hillary ... basically the same thing.

perhaps this Utah senator has been secretly dating Hillary, and her loving, caring charm is what drove him to the bathroom for man sex!

that old hag could turn john wayne gay!
 
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Anonymous

Guest
Just think if we get ol Rudy for President- he'll make Slick Willy look like the founder of the Moral Majority.... Not much of a looker in drag tho.... At least he's surrounded by skinnier, better looking women than old Bill :wink: :lol:


rudy_giuliani_drag.jpg
 

kolanuraven

Well-known member
jigs said:
Oldtimer said:
Clinton: Bill goes home to Hillary ... basically the same thing.

perhaps this Utah senator has been secretly dating Hillary, and her loving, caring charm is what drove him to the bathroom for man sex!

that old hag could turn john wayne gay!


John Wayne's real ( first) name was Marion!!!!! :shock: :shock: :shock:
 

Soapweed

Well-known member
kolanuraven said:
jigs said:
Oldtimer said:
Clinton: Bill goes home to Hillary ... basically the same thing.

perhaps this Utah senator has been secretly dating Hillary, and her loving, caring charm is what drove him to the bathroom for man sex!

that old hag could turn john wayne gay!


John Wayne's real ( first) name was Marion!!!!! :shock: :shock: :shock:

No wonder he came out fighting, with an urge to change his image. "Marion's" father evidently knew what he was doing.

It worked for "a boy named Sue." :wink: :)
 
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Anonymous

Guest
Hey Kola-- your old buddy could be the first "laddie" :wink: :lol:

Bill Sends Hillary Some Tough Love

Tuesday, September 4, 2007 12:56 PM



He's on the golf course. She's on the presidential campaign trail.


If that wasn't hard enough, when Democratic frontrunner Hillary Rodham Clinton points out to her spouse that she's 15 years older than he was when he first ran for president, all she gets is tough love.


"And I say, 'Well, nobody made you run, girl,'" former President Clinton joked during an appearance on The Oprah Winfrey Show that aired Tuesday.


Clinton also suggested tongue-in-cheek what his title might be if the former first lady wins the election and he moves back into the White House.


"My Scottish friends say I should be called 'first laddie' because it's the closest thing to 'first lady,' " he said. "I'm not so worried about what I'm called as what I'm called upon to do."

http://www.newsmax.com/insidecover/bill_clinton_winfrey/2007/09/04/29680.html
 
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