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If you plan to move to " the" South....

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kolanuraven

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NOTICE TO THOSE MOVING SOUTH The following is a pre-approved posting whose purpose is to offer insight and advice to people moving to the South from The North or anywhere else.

1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed on how to use it by someone.

2. Just because you are able to drive on snow and ice does not mean Southerners can. Best stay home the two days of the year it snows.

3. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. 3 men in the cab of a four-wheel drive pick-up with a pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for. Their names will be Billy Bob, Virgil, and Roy.

4. You can ask Southerners for directions, but unless you already know the location of local hills, trees and rocks, you're better off trying to find it yourself.

5. Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is plural possessive.

6. Get used to hearing, "You ain't from 'round here, are you"?

7. Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you, either. Yer even.

8. The first Southern _expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective; "big ol", as in: big ol truck, or big ol boy, big ol dog etc..

9. As you are cursing the person driving 15 mph in a 55-mph zone, directly in the middle of the road, remember: ALL Southern folks learned to drive on a John Deere, and this is the proper speed and lane position for that vehicle.

10. If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!" Stay out of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say, or worse yet, that you will ever hear.

11. Most Southerners do not use turn signals; they ignore those who do. In fact, if you see a signal blinking on a car with a Southern license plate, you may rest assured that it was already turned on when the car was purchased.

12. If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let alone eatin.

13. The wardrobe you always brought out in September can wait until December to git drug out.

14. If there is the prediction of, or the slightest chance of, or even the most minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence is expected at the local grocery store. It does not matter if you need anything from the store. It is just something you're spos'ed to do.

15. Satellite dishes are very popular in the South. When you purchase one, it is positioned directly in front of the house. This is logical, bearing in mind that the dish cost considerably more than the house, and should, therefore, be prominently displayed.

16. Be advised that in the South, "He needed killin'!", is, in fact, a valid defense.


Some of these could apply elsewhere in North America I'm sure
 

HAY MAKER

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Yup,that pretty much describes the South,is it differnt up North ?..........good luck
 

the_jersey_lilly_2000

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LOL well, ya'll, we were out feedin and the cell phone rang, (the stay at home when it snows thing made me decide to post this) It's rained here today, lil bit over an inch, we actually have mud...........(not rubbin this in haymaker) but one of Mr Lilly's (or Frog) cousins got out and got stuck in the ditch.....he called another cousin to come pull him out..........other cousin called Mr Lilly(Frog), said both of us is stuck. So we headed their way, and pulled both their trucks, which are both 4 wheel drives, out with Mr Lilly's (Frog) Jeep Wrangler. So.....if you been without rain for 6 months or more....dont' git it in yer head that you can go out and play in the mud.......your gonna git stuck....
 

HAY MAKER

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Yall been hoardin all that rain over there Lilly,we did'nt get nough rain ta wet the whistle of a screech owl,yea those lil ole jeeps can flat pull,once some hunters got stuck in their surburban with a travel trailer hooked on it and I pulled them out with a jeep Rubicon...........good luck
 

HAY MAKER

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Yea I was watchin it on the radar,guess I will hafta start going ta church more regular,bout tried ever thing else..........good luck
 

HAY MAKER

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Yea weather people say its gonna get colder than its been all winter,I got a good fire going in tha fire place,then it dawned on me I aint had no supper and cant go get any cause I got this fire roarin,I been playin on the computer all day with some antique tractor guys,finally come to a deal I guess I will be headed to Seminole & Midland next week pick em up if my deal dont fall apart,never even stopped to eat,guess it's canned soup again..................good luck
 

the_jersey_lilly_2000

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I got some leftover homemade stew, will prolly be my supper, Mr Lilly (frog) has gone to pick up a jeep that we bought for a friend. And then he's fissin to make a trip up to Howe Oklahoma this weekend to pick up a flathead ford motor. He's been wantin one for almost a year, and couldnt find one affordable. Same cousin that called for help (stuck) found one on ebay and bought it.......for $1.25......yeap one dollar and twenty five cents........now a 420 mile trip one way to go pick it up.
 

HAY MAKER

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faster horses ,me and my wife dont see eye to eye much anymore,but no canned soup fer me I was able to talk one of my multiple personalities into leaving the water hole long enough to bring me a big ole hamburger :D :D :D ...........good luck
 

Maple Leaf Angus

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HAY MAKER said:
faster horses ,me and my wife dont see eye to eye much anymore,but no canned soup fer me I was able to talk one of my multiple personalities into leaving the water hole long enough to bring me a big ole hamburger :D :D :D ...........good luck

Haymaker that was funny and I don't care who ya are!

:lol2: :lol2: :lol2:

By the way, you Texans have more interesting expressions than Carter's got little liver pills.
 

nr

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The only saying that seems to fit the North is that prior to a snowstorm everyone goes to the food store. Ev-er-y-one.
Sure was true yesterday as a big one is predicted to start here around noon finally. We've missed the snow this year and here's hoping this one is a beaut or we'll feel gypped.
 

Red Robin

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Just a skiff of snow here tonight . It wasn't enough to even cover the road. There was still ground to be found under the tires , yet some fool rolled a little car on a fairly flat spot in the road. She went off in the ditch and rolled it into a dry branch. I say she ...I never saw the driver but feel fairly confident in my evaluation. :wink:
 

Maple Leaf Angus

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HAY MAKER said:
faster horses ,me and my wife dont see eye to eye much anymore,but no canned soup fer me I was able to talk one of my multiple personalities into leaving the water hole long enough to bring me a big ole hamburger :D :D :D ...........good luck

Whoa now, here's a thought, which of your multiple personalities gets to keep the change? :?
 

the_jersey_lilly_2000

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OK that explains why I've not heard of low country resturants, it's mostly seafood, and I'm notta big fan of seafood. Guess that's from growin up in West texas where there aint no water lol They do, however, now use the Pecos River water for saltwater shrimp farmin. First time they've ever come up with a use for it that I know of.

LOL @ which one gets to keep the change...hehe
 

PPRM

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Stranger asking for directions in th south gets this response...

"Wellllll..........Hmmmmmm.....Ya know that post that hawks been sittin on off and on the last two weeks?"


Actually happened to a friend of mine near Helix, Oregon, LOL,


PPRM
 

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