My favorite of the bunch:
35. I'm a Democrat because asking for government-issued identification to board a plane, enter a federal building or buy cigarettes, alcohol and guns makes perfect sense, but asking for any form of ID to vote is racist and a despicable attempt to limit voting by minorities and young people.
Read more at http://barbwire.com/2015/09/09/im-a-democrat-because-its-easier-than-thinking/