He stood at the end of my bed, murmering "fetch? fetch?" – clearly not having the faintest idea what he was being asked to do. The sister went and did the job herself.
On another occasion, I handed an agency nurse my full urine bottle – few things are hidden in hospital – and she looked around, wondering what to do with it, before spotting the basin where staff wash their hands and pouring the contents down the plughole. When I told a staff nurse what she'd done, he turned white and rushed away to get some bleach.
"I wouldn't mind if the agency staff had any qualifications, but we have to take them on trust," a ward sister told me.