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Is this really fair?

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Angus Cattle Shower

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I 'get' to do all of the chores, cook, and keep things in the best of order that I can, and when my 10 year old brother comes out to open gates or haul a bucket of feed to the cattle he gets all of the praise???????!!!!!! I was never allowed to do half of the stuff that he does now, and all everyone eve brags about how is, ' oh his brother helpes ACS with his work' blah blah blah. I am getting sick of it. He gets me into trouble, and I get grounded, while he gets to do the fun stuff, that I worked for! When we were going on the hunting trip, guess who was ready the night before, and guess who wasn't. I had all of my work done, helped Dad get his work done, pack my bags, put it in tyhe truck, and cleans, and organize ammo, while the little brat watched tv. he wasnt ready in the morning, and we all had to do his work for him, while he packed. It took him 4 hours!!!! Whenever something goes wrong or doesnt work, i get blamed. When I do something good, and fix, or take care of the cattle for a while, guess who takes the credit? Him. All they ever talk about is him. I do the work, and he gets the credit. GRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!! :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :mad: :mad: :x :x :x :???: :???: :???:


Thanks for letting me vent everyone. It is much needed, and appreciated.
 

nr

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It sounds like you are a hard worker and people know they can rely on you and maybe are forgetting to thank you for a job well done. Are they giving extra attention to the little brother to encourage him to grow up?

Maybe it would help clear the air and ease your mind by talking with the adults in your house and tell them how you are feeling. They might not realize your perspective on the situation at all.

Sometimes adults have too much on their minds and seem uncaring and mess up.
 

Faster horses

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I suggest when the time is right, you show your folks what you wrote on ranchers.net. The 'right time' means not in the heat of an argument; but you probably know that already.

Sorry to hear that you are on the short end of the stick. However, it will prepare you for life, cuz often times that's the way life is...but I bet your parents don't realize how they are acting towards you. I am sure they love you both equally but for some reason aren't showing it equally.

Good luck and let us know how it goes.
 

Soapweed

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Keep your chin up, and try not to be a "victim" or a "blamer". Goodness knows, there are too many of them already in this old world. Try to look at the positive part of your brother. At least you have him to share the workload with, and he is a hunting partner. It would not be nearly as much fun to go hunting if he wasn't with you. In older age you both will have shared memories that you will relish talking about. Your kids and grandkids will enjoy the tales told by both of you.

Even though you might scrap a bit when it is just the two of you, I'll bet if bullies from a neighboring school attacked either one of you, the other would come to the rescue in a heartbeat. That is what brothers are for.

You are lucky you have a brother. I enjoyed growing up with three younger sisters, but I always wished for a brother to do half the work and take on half of my responsibilities. It didn't happen. :cry: :)

Enjoy the bothersome little brat. Someday, you'll live far apart and then you'll miss him and wonder why you didn't treat him nicer. Give him a chance, and he'll probably come around and amount to something.
 

V_Key

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Angus Cattle Shower said:
Is this really fair?

I don't know your age BUT 10 years ago - I was 12 I had to learn "Life Is Not Fair" - (in the Angus show ring) - IT s a hard lesson to learn but do yourself a favor and "Learn It"

My first job (at 18 ) most of the others my age would/could not work - (in 2 years or less they were going to be making $$$$$$ in computers) - at 98lbs I would load 50# feed sacks, boxes of Baleing Wire, and rolls of Barb Wire all day and they are still looking for work but their Work Ethic Proceeds them

As a college senior I go to school 2 day per week and work 3 days per week and keep getting BIG Raises. My boss told my dad that "I work part time and he laid 3 full time employees off because I do the job. Paying me saves him money

At 22 I earn in the high teen, Goggle is talking to me about a PR job that starts in the midTwenty $ range.

I do not fit the Majors they are requsting but I sent the USDA my Résumé and have ongoing talks about a 6 month over seas Apprenticeship Job with them

This and other USDA Promrams are on going - I'll PM the info. to you if you want. (Oh Canada) [:(]

Is Life Fair? NO! - You'll soon start to feel SORRY FOR THEM!

Angus Cattle Shower said:
Thanks for letting me vent everyone. It is much needed, and appreciated.

Feel Welcome - - This is a good place to vent
 

Jake

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If your the oldest, or middle and he's youngest. Your gunna have to get used to it. Younger siblings can do no wrong and we older ones must accpet we're gunna take the ass chewing for their screw ups. Took me quite a while but I finally just shrug the ass chewings off because I know I'm doing things how I'm told and when I'm told.
 

Maple Leaf Angus

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Jake said:
If your the oldest, or middle and he's youngest. Your gunna have to get used to it. Younger siblings can do no wrong and we older ones must accpet we're gunna take the ass chewing for their screw ups. Took me quite a while but I finally just shrug the ass chewings off because I know I'm doing things how I'm told and when I'm told.


OUCH!!!!! :(
 

MsSage

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As a mother of 3~ 2 boys and the youngest a girl I have been accused of not treating them the same. Well they are all different so they are treated according to their strengths.
I know it does not feel fair BUT you have to think about how they look at you......They KNOW you do all your work plus his. Yes they see it. They trust and depend on you, which is a very big compliment on your part. From the sound of it they respect you.
I agree with Faster Horses have a talk with your parents and tell them how you feel. Maybe yall can find a way together to help your brother in taking on his share.
Sometimes just getting the feelings out in the open helps.
 

Angus Cattle Shower

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MsSage said:
As a mother of 3~ 2 boys and the youngest a girl I have been accused of not treating them the same. Well they are all different so they are treated according to their strengths.
I know it does not feel fair BUT you have to think about how they look at you......They KNOW you do all your work plus his. Yes they see it. They trust and depend on you, which is a very big compliment on your part. From the sound of it they respect you.
I agree with Faster Horses have a talk with your parents and tell them how you feel. Maybe yall can find a way together to help your brother in taking on his share.
Sometimes just getting the feelings out in the open helps.


Yeah, but the problem is, mom and dad tell others, and the other people keep coming and saying why dont you do the woek like your brother? I tell them, and when I get mad for them not listening, and i ask them what i just said, they get all mad because they think that im trying ot ba a smart a$$. Geez it really is making me mad. He gets eraises on his allowance, and all he does is watch tv, while i do the work!!
 

nr

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There seems to be a piece missing somewhere. Some possibilities:

1. You ARE doing the work well and they know it but they don't reward or appreciate it. (sadly there are some begrudging adults in the world)
OR
2. You ARE doing the work well but they for some reason don't know it so don't reward or appreciate it for whatever reason.
OR
3. You are doing the work well and they ARE rewarding you but somehow you don't realize they are appreciative
or you can't accept that it is actually appreciation
or you feel more is owed to you than they've given.
OR
4. You are not doing the work as well as you think and as well as they'd like (you are still young and learning), they know it and think praising/rewarding little brother might help you see the light.
OR
5. You made a little mistake and your parents mentioned it to other friends who then blew it out of proportion just to get your goat.
OR ..... (there are many other possibilities)

It still boils down to you need to get a chat in with your folks. If you blow up and anger easily, it might help to write it all down first by yourself and then go over it with them. That way you have all your ideas WITH EXAMPLES down on paper and can deal with each incident one by one and respectfully get their side of the story. It is too easy for vague "feelings" that are not really based on actual facts or incidents to get inflated into something we think is reality.
If your talk with them for some reason goes poorly you might discuss it with another level-headed, mature adult who is fully trust-worthy.
 

Radar

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My two cents:

My aunt, who is a Catholic Sister, told me something many years ago that has always stuck with me. "If you want something to get done, assign the task to someone who is busy."

I gave her a quizical look to which she smiled and continued, "a person who isn't all that busy will feel that they have plenty of time to accomplish a task and put it off. While someone who is busy realizes the importance of time and may attend to the work in a more timely manner."

I'm not taking sides, but in some ways your folks may be giving you credit for the hard work, not by some reward, but by providing you with more work. Sounds crazy, but I've found that it is easier to assign tasks to those I know will get work done than those that will procastinate and have to ask two or three times. Your folks may be doing the same as they know you can and will get the job done.
 

nr

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Radar said:
My two cents:

My aunt, who is a Catholic Sister, told me something many years ago that has always stuck with me. "If you want something to get done, assign the task to someone who is busy."

I gave her a quizical look to which she smiled and continued, "a person who isn't all that busy will feel that they have plenty of time to accomplish a task and put it off. While someone who is busy realizes the importance of time and may attend to the work in a more timely manner."

I'm not taking sides, but in some ways your folks may be giving you credit for the hard work, not by some reward, but by providing you with more work. Sounds crazy, but I've found that it is easier to assign tasks to those I know will get work done than those that will procastinate and have to ask two or three times. Your folks may be doing the same as they know you can and will get the job done.

That is sooo true, Radar! Thanks for reminding us of that truth.
 

Angus Cattle Shower

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Everyone has very good ideas and points, but that brat was at it again!!! I am 5'8, and 13 years old. Yes, I have a small weight issue, but muscle weighs three times as much as fat, and I am 210 pounds. I am very active, and eat the least, and I get teased. I can keep up to the men, especially when it comes to working with my hands, or carrying/building stuff, and lots of times the people that come over to help see me work, and lots of time I finish before them, because I study what I have to do, and do it. No talking. They will come over to me and say " if your Dad would have another one or two of you, you'd be able to run this farm on your own!!!" Those are the good times. But here hge comes, and guess who he is buggin about their weight. he'll kick me, and when i kick him back, guess who gets into trouble. The doc says I have a really low matabolisim, and it is not my fault, it's just the nature of me. Same as dad. I work hard for my grades in school, but the teachers say, oh work harded. I am not a neat writer, and have lots of ideas, but now, it's not what you think, or how many life lessons you have, but how neat, and how much you know abouthistory! I will probably not really have to use the kind of stuff that some of the classes are based on, but the lessons that others have learned in life it self. And i get bugged because I stand up for me, my family, my friends, and all of the stuff that I beleive in.
 

Faster horses

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You are so wise to stand up for who and what you believe in. NEVER lose that quality. NEVER.

I don't know what else to tell you. If you feel you cannot talk to your parents about this problem, is there a teacher you can confide in? Perhaps the teacher could then discuss it with your parents. Perhaps a neutral party would help.

If all else fails, you sound like a good kid and there's always room for a good kid at our house. :wink:
 

Big Muddy rancher

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Hang in there ACS. I know what it's like to be a big kid. I stand 6'3" . Was taller then my Kindergarten teacher. Was teased about hows the weather up there. You know all the jokes.
Well I helped out a fellow with car trouble one day and he came back with a Log Cabin Clock he built to give me for helping him . With him was his grandson that looked real familiar. Turns out I went to High school with the mans Son in law. Before they came back he looked up in his year book and saw where it said I was going to be a rancher. He said I was the only one in my class that was doing what they said they would do. That made me feel pretty proud as I was not the "Jock" just the big kid in school.
Little Bros can be a pain just ask my sister. It will all work out in the end.
Say are you going to Agribition? Are you showing cattle?
 

Angus Cattle Shower

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We are going to Agribition. I can't show because I only have 3 broke, and mom and dad thought that it wasnt worthwile to show three animals. eish i could though. once again, we have to clean to go. guess who just finished? Guess whose just got torn up due to his brother's temper tantrum? Guess who has to do all of it over again? Guess who has to help little brother if anyone wants to go? We are going on a little hunting trip tomorrow and saturday, so we have to have the house clean now. I was thinking about starting a closed herd, and guess what Dad said. I asked him if I could buy anopther heifer because that would be all for like 6 years, with the exception of bulls. He said,
" Take better care of your animals and when you think about that, mabye you could help your brother with his.
I am not getting them now. :? :( :???:
 

Big Muddy rancher

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Life can be tough but so can you. Don't hurry your herd to much. College will be coming and you might not be home much and your little brother will have to look after your cattle for you. That'll be a switch Eh. May be see you at the agribition. I be the big cowboy with a moustache. Did that narrow it down for you? I bet there will be more then a few of us "RANCHERS" there.
 

Angus Cattle Shower

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Big Muddy rancher said:
Life can be tough but so can you. Don't hurry your herd to much. College will be coming and you might not be home much and your little brother will have to look after your cattle for you. That'll be a switch Eh. May be see you at the agribition. I be the big cowboy with a moustache. Did that narrow it down for you? I bet there will be more then a few of us "RANCHERS" there.
What days will you be there? gonna go to the rodeo?
 

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