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Issued by the South Dakota Tourism Bureau

katrina

Well-known member
>>Issued by the South Dakota Tourism Bureau to
>>ALL visitors:
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>1. Don't order filet mignon or pasta primavera at Al's Oasis. It's a
>>diner. They serve breakfast 24 hours a day. Let them cook something that
>>they
>>know. If you upset the ladies in the kitchen, they will kick your
>>ass.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>2. Don't laugh at the names of our little towns (Wall, Murdo, Tea,
>>Gayville,Colome, etc.) or we will just have to kick your ass!
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>3. Don't order a bottle or a can of soda in South Dakota. Here it is
>>call pop . Accept it. Doing other wise can lead to an ass kicking.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>4. We know our heritage. Most of us are more literate than you are.
>>We are also better educated and generally a lot nicer. Don't refer to us
>>as a
>>bunch of rednecks or we'll kick your ass.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>5. We have plenty of business sense. You have to make a living here.
>>We may sometimes have small lapses in judgement from time to time. But we
>>are not dumb enough to let someone move to our state in order to run for
>>the
>>Senate. If someone tried to do that..we would kick their ass.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>6. Don't laugh at out giant fiberglass cows and turtles made out of
>>car parts. Anything that inspires tourists to buy 250,000 postcards can be
>>bad.
>>When in Rapid City, don't point at the genitalia on the giant plastic
>>dinosaur
>>or we'll kick your ass.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>7. We are fully aware of how damn cold it gets here in the winter or
>>how hot it gets in the summer. So shut the hell up. Just spend your money
>>and
>>get the hell out of here. Don't hog the space heater, or we will kick
>>your ass.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>8. Don't order the vegetarian special at the local diner. Everyone
>>will know instantly that you are a tourist. Eat your steak well done like
>>God
>>intended and have some mashed potatoes and gravy with that! Don't ask what
>>a hot
>>dish is or we'll kick your ass.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>9. Don't try to fake a Dakota accent. We don't have an accent! Do NOT
>>mention the movie "Fargo" because that WASN'T us. That will incite a riot
>>and
>>you will get your ass kicked.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>10. Don't talk about how much better things are at home, because we
>>know better. Many of us have visited big city hell holes like Detroit, New
>>York
>>and D.C. We have scars to prove it. If you don't like it here, Interstate
>>90 is
>>ready when you are. Move your ass on home before it gets kicked!!!
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>11. Don't complain that South Dakota is mostly flat and there aren't
>>enough trees. If you whine about OUR scenic beauty, we'll kick your ass
>>all the
>>way back to Baltimore.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>12. Don't ridicule our mannerisms. We only speak when spoken to. We
>>hold the doors open for others. We offer our seats to old folks because
>>such
>>things are expected of civilized people. Behave yourselves around our
>>sweet
>>little gray-haired grandmothers or they will kick your ass, just like they
>>did
>>ours.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>13. So you think we're quaint or hicks because most of us live on the
>>prairie? That's because we have enough sense not to live in filthy,
>>smelly,
>>crime infested cesspools like New York or LA. Make fun of our fresh air
>>and
>>we'll kick your ass.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>14. Writing "Sue Falls" is NOT cute. Your ass will be
>>kicked.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>15. Last, but not least: DO NOT DARE to come here and tell us how the
>>prairie should "go back to the buffalo." This will get your ass shot
>>(right
>>after it is kicked). Mention this just once and you will go home in a pine
>>box.
>>Minus your ass.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>Now enjoy your visit and then go home.
 

the chief

Well-known member
Can we add our own?

#16--Don't try to reason with local gopher trappers about packers controlling the beef industry. Our gopher trappers are NEVER wrong and even if they are wrong, they will not admit it. And even when you offer proof to prove them wrong, they will get off their high horse and kick your ass. (Or have a member of the AMI do it for them.)

:wink:
 

Soapweed

Well-known member
Big Muddy rancher said:
#17, when someone that calls himself "the chief" comes to South Dakota just Kick his ass for the heck of it. :lol: :lol:

South Dakota already has quite a few bonafide genuine chiefs. So would an out-of-state wanna-be chief who just hankers to be a chief be considered a "hankerchief"? :???: :? :wink: :)
 

the chief

Well-known member
Big Muddy rancher said:
#17, when someone that calls himself "the cheif" come to South Dakota just Kick his ass for the heck of it. :lol: :lol:

Don't worry, BMR, neither the "cheif" (I before E except after C) nor myself will be coming to South Dakota soon. As far as I know, I didn't leave anything there. :wink:
 

Jinglebob

Well-known member
the chief said:
Big Muddy rancher said:
#17, when someone that calls himself "the cheif" come to South Dakota just Kick his ass for the heck of it. :lol: :lol:

Don't worry, BMR, neither the "cheif" (I before E except after C) nor myself will be coming to South Dakota soon. As far as I know, I didn't leave anything there. :wink:

Thats good, cuz we got enough of our own junk laying around here. :wink:
 

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