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Jay's Last Stand

Soapweed

Well-known member
Jay's Last Stand

Now that he's a short timer, Jay does not feel constrained to stay within the network guidelines of "no Obama criticism and staying politically correct" -- what a breath of fresh air!

"I was going to start off tonight with an Obama joke, but I don't want to get audited by the IRS."

On NSA surveillance: "We wanted a president who listens to all Americans - now we have one."

On a new IRS commissioner: "He's called 'acting commissioner' because he has to act like the scandal doesn't involve the White House."

On closing the Guantanamo prison for terrorists: "If he really wants to close it, turn it into a government-funded solar power company. The doors will be shut in a month."

Concerning the Benghazi , Associated Press, and IRS scandals: "Remember in the old days when President Obama's biggest embarrassment was Joe Biden?"

On Obama saying he didn't know about the IRS scandal: "He was too busy not knowing anything about Benghazi to not know anything about the IRS."

"The White House has a new slogan about Benghazi : Hope and change the subject."

"It's casual Friday, which means that at the White House, they're casually going through everybody's phone calls and records."

"It is not looking good for President Obama. Today his teleprompter took the fifth."

"Fox News has changed its slogan from 'Fair and Balanced' to 'See, I told you so!'"

"These White House scandals are not going away anytime soon. People in Kenya are now saying he's 100 percent American. That's how bad it's gotten."

On Obama's commencement address: "He told the young graduates their future is bright unless, of course, they want jobs."

On a Chicago man who set a record for riding a Ferris wheel: "The only other way to go around and around in a circle that many times is to read the official report on Benghazi ."

On White House claims of ignorance on the scandals: "They took 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' out of the Pentagon and moved it into the White House."

"As democracy is perfected, the office of the President represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day, the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be occupied by a downright fool and complete narcissistic moron."
----H.L. Mencken, The Baltimore Evening Sun, July 26, 1920
 

hypocritexposer

Well-known member
Why are you posting what used to be OT's claim to fame?

He used to be the biggest Jay fan around...now...nothing :???:

Maybe he's too old to stay up that late nowadays, or too busy with other busyness adventures... :lol:
 

littlejoe

Well-known member
Soapweed said:
Jay's Last Stand

Now that he's a short timer, Jay does not feel constrained to stay within the network guidelines of "no Obama criticism and staying politically correct" -- what a breath of fresh air!

"I was going to start off tonight with an Obama joke, but I don't want to get audited by the IRS."

On NSA surveillance: "We wanted a president who listens to all Americans - now we have one."

On a new IRS commissioner: "He's called 'acting commissioner' because he has to act like the scandal doesn't involve the White House."

On closing the Guantanamo prison for terrorists: "If he really wants to close it, turn it into a government-funded solar power company. The doors will be shut in a month."

Concerning the Benghazi , Associated Press, and IRS scandals: "Remember in the old days when President Obama's biggest embarrassment was Joe Biden?"

On Obama saying he didn't know about the IRS scandal: "He was too busy not knowing anything about Benghazi to not know anything about the IRS."

"The White House has a new slogan about Benghazi : Hope and change the subject."

"It's casual Friday, which means that at the White House, they're casually going through everybody's phone calls and records."

"It is not looking good for President Obama. Today his teleprompter took the fifth."

"Fox News has changed its slogan from 'Fair and Balanced' to 'See, I told you so!'"

"These White House scandals are not going away anytime soon. People in Kenya are now saying he's 100 percent American. That's how bad it's gotten."

On Obama's commencement address: "He told the young graduates their future is bright unless, of course, they want jobs."

On a Chicago man who set a record for riding a Ferris wheel: "The only other way to go around and around in a circle that many times is to read the official report on Benghazi ."

On White House claims of ignorance on the scandals: "They took 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' out of the Pentagon and moved it into the White House."

"As democracy is perfected, the office of the President represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day, the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be occupied by a downright fool and complete narcissistic moron."
----H.L. Mencken, The Baltimore Evening Sun, July 26, 1920
:D :) :) 8) :lol: :p
 

Steve

Well-known member
It was announced that President Obama is going to visit Pope Francis. Obama said he can't wait to tell the Pope, "You know, they liked me a lot, too, that first year."

"According to a new international survey, among Catholics Pope Francis has an approval rating of 88 percent. That is unless he comes out with FrancisCare. Then the whole thing could plummet." –Jay Leno

President Obama will visit Pope Francis. The president said, "I'm looking forward to meeting the one old white guy who's not bashing Obamacare."

The rollout of the Affordable Care Act continues to be terrible. Now comes news that not enough young, healthy Americans are signing up. Did they expect young people to buy insurance the same time that Play Station 4 comes out?

A new report found that more than half of the people who have signed up for Obamacare are older than 45. Which is no big deal until you find out they were 25 when they first tried to log onto the website.

"Did you all watch the Golden Globes last night? The big winner was 'American Hustle,' a film about the marketing of Obamacare." –Jay Leno

"Yesterday President Obama laid out plans for creating what he called 'promise zones' all across the county – spots that will receive extra financial and economic attention from the government. Don't confuse those areas with the rest of the country. Those are 'broken promise' zones." –Jay Leno


"President Obama has launched a preliminary search for the location of his presidential library. Members of his team are pushing for his birthplace. But I'm thinking Kenya is a bit too far." –Craig Ferguson

"Yesterday, President Obama gave photographers a rare chance to take pictures of his weekly lunch with Joe Biden. Then Biden told his friends, 'Told you I knew the president.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"President Obama's former defense secretary, Robert Gates, has written a new memoir where he says that Joe Biden has been wrong on almost every foreign policy issue in the last 40 years. He says he's awful when it comes to foreign countries. Then Biden was like, 'Is this bout the time I got lost at Epcot?'" –Jimmy Fallon

"In the new movie 'The Wolf of Wall Street,' they say the F-word was used a record 506 times. Thus breaking the old record of 505 times set by President Obama when he heard about Robert Gates' new book." –Jay Leno

"Today President Obama invited unemployed Americans to the White House for a discussion about income inequality. Because if there's one way to show sympathy for the unemployed, it's to invite them to a giant white mansion that you get to live in for free." –Jimmy Fallon
 

Mike

Well-known member
Got to like this one:

"Fox News has changed its slogan from 'Fair and Balanced' to 'See, I told you so!'"
:shock: :shock:
 
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