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Just couldn't resist

Faster horses

Well-known member
Got this in an email and couldn't resist posting it here.

No one says it is true, so don't get in an uproar wanting me
to prove what it says...

Subject: seeking the truth
>
>Humans existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunter/gatherers. They
>lived on deer in the mountains during the summer &would go to the coast and
>live on fish and lobster in winter.
>
>
>The 2 most important events in all of history were the invention of beer
>and
>the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer.
>
>
>These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the
>catalyst for the splitting of humanity into 2 distinct subgroups:
>Liberals and Conservatives.
>
>
>Once beer was discovered it required grain and that was the beginning of
>agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet,
>so
>while our early human ancestors were sitting around waiting for them to be
>invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were
>formed.
>
>
>Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night
>while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as
>"the Conservative movement."
>
>
>Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off
>the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the
>sewing, fetching and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal
>movement. Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest
>became known as 'girliemen.'
>
>
>Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the
>invention of group therapy and group hugs and the concept of Democratic
>voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives
>provided.
>
>
>Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most
>powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the
>jackass. Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most
>prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like
>their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal
>fare.
>
>
>Another interesting revolutionary side note: most of their women have
>higher
>testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury
>attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are
>liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't
>"fair" to make the pitcher also bat.
>
>
>Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for
>their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys,
>lumberjacks,
>construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate
>executives, Marines, athletes and generally anyone who works productively.
>Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work
>for a living.
>
>
>Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to "govern" the producers and
>decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more
>enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in
>Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the
>Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get MORE for
>nothing.
>
>
>Here ends today's lesson in world history: It should be noted that a
>Liberal
>may have a momentary urge to respond to the above before simply laughing
>and
>forwarding it. A Conservative will be so convinced of the absolute truth of
>this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other "true
>believers."
 

Soapweed

Well-known member
Speaking of pack mentality, I've been afflicted with it for all of my life. In the third grade, at recess one day, my cousins and I hijacked the merry-go-round. We'd only let other kids on if they professed to be Republicans. Some of the kids didn't know so we didn't let them on. A few of the town kids went home at noon to find out. We were surprised to learn that some we figured to be Democrats came back to say that, no, their parents proclaimed them to be Republicans. We let them on the merry-go-round. We respected, but felt sorry, for those that in all honesty said they were Democrats. Even though we kind of felt sorry for them, rules were rules, so we didn't let them on. Some kids said they were Republicans, and we had no way to prove they weren't, so we had to let them on. Deep in our hearts we were pretty sure they were lying.

Old habits die hard. :? :wink: :)
 

Frankk

Well-known member
[quote=" >Liberals produce little or nothing.

What I produce I do without government help, my republician friends all require help from the government but maybe it's just plain old greed.
 

nonothing

Well-known member
Soapweed said:
Speaking of pack mentality, I've been afflicted with it for all of my life. In the third grade, at recess one day, my cousins and I hijacked the merry-go-round. We'd only let other kids on if they professed to be Republicans. Some of the kids didn't know so we didn't let them on. A few of the town kids went home at noon to find out. We were surprised to learn that some we figured to be Democrats came back to say that, no, their parents proclaimed them to be Republicans. We let them on the merry-go-round. We respected, but felt sorry, for those that in all honesty said they were Democrats. Even though we kind of felt sorry for them, rules were rules, so we didn't let them on. Some kids said they were Republicans, and we had no way to prove they weren't, so we had to let them on. Deep in our hearts we were pretty sure they were lying.

Old habits die hard. :? :wink: :)


So stealing or taking over something all are given to use is how republicans work?They take control and then decide who gets to use it..Sounds about right....
 

memanpa

Well-known member
nonothing said:
Soapweed said:
Speaking of pack mentality, I've been afflicted with it for all of my life. In the third grade, at recess one day, my cousins and I hijacked the merry-go-round. We'd only let other kids on if they professed to be Republicans. Some of the kids didn't know so we didn't let them on. A few of the town kids went home at noon to find out. We were surprised to learn that some we figured to be Democrats came back to say that, no, their parents proclaimed them to be Republicans. We let them on the merry-go-round. We respected, but felt sorry, for those that in all honesty said they were Democrats. Even though we kind of felt sorry for them, rules were rules, so we didn't let them on. Some kids said they were Republicans, and we had no way to prove they weren't, so we had to let them on. Deep in our hearts we were pretty sure they were lying. Old habits die hard. :? :wink: :)


So stealing or taking over something all are given to use is how republicans work?They take control and then decide who gets to use it..Sounds about right....

yep sounds right, liberals are known to do that!!!!!! :D :D :D
 

aplusmnt

Well-known member
Frankk said:
Soapweed said:
Frankk said:
>Liberals produce little or nothing. What I produce I do without government help said:
Frankly, Frankk, I think you've got your wires crossed.

That's just the facts here where I live, checked the EWG they are all at the trough, it may be different where you live.

I guess if what you say is true then it blows the myth out of the water that Republicans are only for the wealthy then huh?
 

P Joe

Well-known member
kolanuraven said:
Circular mentality!

Never allow a new idea in....just keep running around in circles with the same ol' thoughts and theories!!

yep, Kinda just like pointing fingers and complaining how wrong everything is going, but not having a freakin idea of your own to fix it.
 

jigs

Well-known member
do not chastise him for not being original.... last time some one got original, we had a 5 page argument over the tampon remark.
 

Frankk

Well-known member
aplusmnt said:
Frankk said:
Soapweed said:
Frankly, Frankk, I think you've got your wires crossed.

That's just the facts here where I live, checked the EWG they are all at the trough, it may be different where you live.

I guess if what you say is true then it blows the myth out of the water that Republicans are only for the wealthy then huh?

What makes you think they are not wealthy?
 

P Joe

Well-known member
jigs said:
do not chastise him for not being original.... last time some one got original, we had a 5 page argument over the tampon remark.

yea, I guess you just don't bring things like that up anymore. :D

The liberals just aren't so liberal with their words :wink:
 

memanpa

Well-known member
kolanuraven said:
Circular mentality!

Never allow a new idea in....just keep running around in circles with the same ol' thoughts and theories!!

sounds like kolo(kaka) to me but then who wou;d ever expect KOLO (kaka) to have an original thought,

you know those that have been abducted by BEINGS from outer space like KAKA have no original thoughts only what the little green men put in their minds

like that 5000 foot landing strip in her back yard that does not exist!
or the steady stream of UPS trucks to pick up the packages to send to the guys in iraq
maybe she is too busy going to the fancy shamcey dinners with her LIBERAL darlings
OR maybe she is having delusions of grandure(sp)
yep more than likely that is it.
 

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