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Just for the men.

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Big Muddy rancher

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Joined
Feb 10, 2005
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Big Muddy valley
The new Mens' Thesaurus - on sale now at your local bookstore.
> Here's a sample:
>
>
>
> "I'M GOING FISHING"
> Means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid,and stand by a
> stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."
>
>
>
> IT'S A GUY THING"
> Means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it,
> and you have no chance at all of making it logical".
>
>
>
> "CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
> Means: "Why isn't it already on the table?"
>
>
>
> "UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..."
> Means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
>
>
>
> "IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
> Means: "I have no idea how it works."
>
>
>
> "I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
> Means: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."
>
>
>
> "TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD".
> Means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
>
>
>
> "THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
> Means: "Are you still talking?"
>
>
>
> "YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
> Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the
> first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of
> every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."
>
>
>
> "I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES".
> Means: "The girl selling them on the corner was real hot."
>
>
>
> "OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
> Means: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before
> I admit that I'm hurt."
>
>
>
> "HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING".
> Means: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."
>
>
>
> "I CAN'T FIND IT."
> Means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely
> clueless."
>
>
>
> "WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
> Means: "What did you catch me at?"
>
>
>
> "I HEARD YOU."
> "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping
> desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days
> yelling at me."
>
>
>
> "YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
> Means: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be
> worse."
>
>
>
> "YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
> Means: "Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."
>
>
>
> "I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
> Means: "No one will ever see us alive again."
>
>
>
> "WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."
> Means: "I make the messes, she cleans them up
 

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