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Ladies, blue jeans?

Help Support Ranchers.net:

I am admittedly the least qualified one to tell you ladies about measuring, uh, um, oh, you know, but you seem to be all wrong in my estimation.

As I see it you measure by the (Ahem), hatfull. :oops: :oops:

Cowboy poetry--buying a bra

You know, I've never been much for shopping
In fact I try to stay away from town -
Except when shipping time comes,
I ain't easily found.

But the day came when I had to go
And I left the kids with Ma.
But before I left, she asked me,
"Would you pick me up a bra?"

Without thinkin' I said "sure,"
How tough could that job be?
I bent down and kissed her
and said, "I'll be back by three."

Well, when I done the things I needed
I started to regret
Ever offering to buy that thing,
I was working up a sweat.

I crossed the street to the ladies shop
With my hat pulled over my eyes,
I wasn't takin' any chances
On bein' recognized.

I walked right up to the sales clerk
I didn't hem or haw.
I told the lady right straight out,
"Ma'am, I'm here to buy a bra."

From behind I heard some snickers
So I turned around to see
At least fifteen women in the store,
And they's all gawkin' at me!

"What kind would you be looking for?"
"Well," I just scratched my head.
I'd only seen one kind before
"Thought bras was bras," I said.

She gives me a disgusted look
"Well sir, that's where you're wrong.
Come with me," I heard her say,
And like a dog, I tagged along.

She took me down this alley
Where bras was on display.
Well I thought my jaw'd hit the floor
When I seen that lingerie.

They had all these different styles
That I'd not seen before -
I thought that I'd go crazy
'fore I left that women's store.

They had bras you wear for eighteen hours,
And bras that cross your heart.
There was bras that lift and separate,
And that was just the start.

They had bras that made you feel
Like you weren't wearing one at all.
And bras that you can train in
When you start off when you're small.

Well, I finally made my mind up
Picked a black and lacy one.
I told the lady,
"Bag it up," And figured I was done.

But then she asked me for the size.
I didn't hesitate.
I knew them measurements by heart,
"Six and seven eighths."

"Six and seven eighths, well sir,
That really isn't right."
"Oh yes ma'am, I'm positive,
I just measured them last night."

I thought that she'd go into shock,
Musta took her by surprise.
When I told her that my wife's bust
Was the same as my hat size.

"That's what I use to measure with,
I figured it was fair;
But If I'm wrong I'm sorry ma'am."
This drew another stare.

By now a crowd had gathered
And they's all crackin' up.
When the lady asked to see my hat,
To measure for the cup.

When she finally had it figured
I gave the gal her pay
I turned to leave the store,
Tipped my hat and said, "Good day."

My wife heard the whole story
'fore I ever made it home.
She'd talked to fifteen women
Who'd called her on the phone.

She was still a-laughin'
But by then I didn't care.
Now she don't ask and I don't shop
For no more women's underwear.

Author unknown
 
the real jake said:
I am admittedly the least qualified one to tell you ladies about measuring, uh, um, oh, you know, but you seem to be all wrong in my estimation.

As I see it you measure by the (Ahem), hatfull. :oops: :oops:

Cowboy poetry--buying a bra

You know, I've never been much for shopping
In fact I try to stay away from town -
Except when shipping time comes,
I ain't easily found.

But the day came when I had to go
And I left the kids with Ma.
But before I left, she asked me,
"Would you pick me up a bra?"

Without thinkin' I said "sure,"
How tough could that job be?
I bent down and kissed her
and said, "I'll be back by three."

Well, when I done the things I needed
I started to regret
Ever offering to buy that thing,
I was working up a sweat.

I crossed the street to the ladies shop
With my hat pulled over my eyes,
I wasn't takin' any chances
On bein' recognized.

I walked right up to the sales clerk
I didn't hem or haw.
I told the lady right straight out,
"Ma'am, I'm here to buy a bra."

From behind I heard some snickers
So I turned around to see
At least fifteen women in the store,
And they's all gawkin' at me!

"What kind would you be looking for?"
"Well," I just scratched my head.
I'd only seen one kind before
"Thought bras was bras," I said.

She gives me a disgusted look
"Well sir, that's where you're wrong.
Come with me," I heard her say,
And like a dog, I tagged along.

She took me down this alley
Where bras was on display.
Well I thought my jaw'd hit the floor
When I seen that lingerie.

They had all these different styles
That I'd not seen before -
I thought that I'd go crazy
'fore I left that women's store.

They had bras you wear for eighteen hours,
And bras that cross your heart.
There was bras that lift and separate,
And that was just the start.

They had bras that made you feel
Like you weren't wearing one at all.
And bras that you can train in
When you start off when you're small.

Well, I finally made my mind up
Picked a black and lacy one.
I told the lady,
"Bag it up," And figured I was done.

But then she asked me for the size.
I didn't hesitate.
I knew them measurements by heart,
"Six and seven eighths."

"Six and seven eighths, well sir,
That really isn't right."
"Oh yes ma'am, I'm positive,
I just measured them last night."

I thought that she'd go into shock,
Musta took her by surprise.
When I told her that my wife's bust
Was the same as my hat size.

"That's what I use to measure with,
I figured it was fair;
But If I'm wrong I'm sorry ma'am."
This drew another stare.

By now a crowd had gathered
And they's all crackin' up.
When the lady asked to see my hat,
To measure for the cup.

When she finally had it figured
I gave the gal her pay
I turned to leave the store,
Tipped my hat and said, "Good day."

My wife heard the whole story
'fore I ever made it home.
She'd talked to fifteen women
Who'd called her on the phone.

She was still a-laughin'
But by then I didn't care.
Now she don't ask and I don't shop
For no more women's underwear.

Author unknown
Click to expand...


The truest poem I heard in a while :D :D :D ............good luck
 
USgal-In-Manitoba said:
lil Jersey,

I believe the 1 3 5 7 9 sizes are juniors and 2 4 6 8 10 sizes are considered ladies. Don't know why they do that with dress pants and then change back around for jeans. They even do that with wrangler jeans. They have 1 x 34 or 3/4 x 34. Beats me! I guess you have a little extra room in the double digit sizes.

As for a true measurement of the breasts. Take a measure tape and measure under the breast and around the back where your bra would go for the 36 or width/around size and for the cup size you just have to try a bra on otherwise measure around the largest part of your bust. IF you can't find a perfect fit bra then I suggest you go to Victoria Secrect as they take your measurements and suggest a size. Personally I find that Fredricks of Hollywood has better lookin lingerie and has better fit because they offer "bigger" bust sizes. Also ladies, they are having an awesome sale right now. Put a smile on your Mans face :eek: :D

Hope this helps!

try www.fredricksofhollywood.com

Usgal~
Click to expand...

Just went on the site. Thanks for the tip. It is hard for me to find 34 with a cup bigger then a freakin C or D
They always make the back to big or the cup to small for me
Goin net shopping. :D
 
Buckerette said:
All this talk about a size 2 is making me depressed. I starve myself to get into 5s and sometimes starve to stay in a 7. I thought I was doing good and now I hear 2s. You should be proud.

And since we are talking about shopping a little..... I have to tell you all about the coolest purse I bought last night. Pink Ostrich. It's sweet. Fake ostrich but still cool. The real stuff was like $350. That's about what I got for a heifer I just took to sale. I couldn't do that, just couldn't do it.

Oh and one more thing.. are rockies "out". I think I'm the only one on the board that mentioned she still wears them. They are low raises, so they are a little in style.... I think.
Click to expand...

No need to be depressed about a 5 or 7.
It's how ya work what the good lord gave ya :wink:
 
reader (the Second) said:
Jessie said:
USgal-In-Manitoba said:
lil Jersey,

I believe the 1 3 5 7 9 sizes are juniors and 2 4 6 8 10 sizes are considered ladies. Don't know why they do that with dress pants and then change back around for jeans. They even do that with wrangler jeans. They have 1 x 34 or 3/4 x 34. Beats me! I guess you have a little extra room in the double digit sizes.

As for a true measurement of the breasts. Take a measure tape and measure under the breast and around the back where your bra would go for the 36 or width/around size and for the cup size you just have to try a bra on otherwise measure around the largest part of your bust. IF you can't find a perfect fit bra then I suggest you go to Victoria Secrect as they take your measurements and suggest a size. Personally I find that Fredricks of Hollywood has better lookin lingerie and has better fit because they offer "bigger" bust sizes. Also ladies, they are having an awesome sale right now. Put a smile on your Mans face :eek: :D

Hope this helps!

try www.fredricksofhollywood.com

Usgal~
Click to expand...

Just went on the site. Thanks for the tip. It is hard for me to find 34 with a cup bigger then a freakin C or D
They always make the back to big or the cup to small for me
Goin net shopping. :D
Click to expand...

I can tell you where to get bras and swim suits, if you want. I've had this problem since I was 13 ...
Click to expand...

Yes please that would be greeeeeaaaat. :D
 
Jessie,

I would recommend Fredricks if you have that problem. I've always had a problem finding a comfortable bra that fits snug around and is still large enough in the cup. Fredricks has DD and F cup sizes but it looks like they are charging extra for the bigger sizes now. Another nice thing about Fredricks is you can buy matching panties, regular or thong. I've never purchased online so I dont know how that works but if there is a store close to you I would say walk in. You wont be disappointed.

Buckerette, I still wear my rockies jeans. I wear them for work and dress. I think they are very stylish and I like the look with no pockets on the back/bareback.

Another good website for western closeout clothing would be www.sierratradingpost.com Sizes are limited but you can find good western clothing there for cheap cheap cheap. Just look up Roper or Cowboy code. They also sell cowboy hats, work boots and cowboy boots. Take a peak at the site and see if there is anything you like. I found it handy because they ship internationally and all the customs and duties charges is added into your price so you pay nothing when picking up from canada post.

Well, hope everyone finds some good stuff! Reader, still waiting for you to post that website!

Usgal~
 
reader (the Second) said:
Anybody have good quality Western women's boots in size wide??
Click to expand...
I couldn't find nothing here in Canada for boots that were comfy to ride in that were a decent price. I ended up wearing harley bike boots for riding as they have the square toe and they don't feel like I am mushin my toes and great grip.
Not western per say but a bit wider.
 
Reader & Jessie,

Have you tried on a pair of Horseshoes by Roper? My boyfriend got me to try these shoes out and they are great. I dont have a narrow foot but they have stretched out a little but have just molded to my foot like a glove. I use these shoes to dress up and work, you can also use them to ride in. They are like a western styled pair of Nike's. Very comfortable and last a long time. They even come with different color tassles. If you haven't tried a pair I would definetely recommend them. They have even got a raised ridge on the heel for spurs :)

As you can probably tell, I love shopping and my closet is filled with a variety of different western clothing brands, cowboy boots, work boots, etc.

Another shoe that you may try is a Justin style roper/chuckka with the George Strait insole. Very comfortable, but you would need to find them in a D or EE wide.

Usgal~
 
6 pages of posts on butts, boobs, and boots-- What you won't find on ranchers.net :wink: :lol: :lol:
 
Oldtimer said:
6 pages of posts on butts, boobs, and boots-- What you won't find on ranchers.net :wink: :lol: :lol:
Click to expand...

What did you expect when a pile of women get together and the topic turns to clothes and shopping??? :wink:
 
Shelly said:
What I can't understand about Wranglers is who wears a size 0?!? I couldn't believe there was such a size!
Click to expand...

V¬ is always looking for Size "0"s and can never find them - - spends most of her time in the Boys section - - but they never fit right

There is a shop in Oak Dell that carries them or she orderes then from "The Boot Barn"
 
I always use my Hat to measure - 71/4" :roll:

I have a Cute Picture of a Titt Mouse but I don't tink I should/could Pist it here - - I might find it and put a Link to it - - a little over the edge but really Cute :shock:

Caution Nude
http://photos.imageevent.com/v_key/personal/websize/titmouse2.jpg
 
A young Priest from America was to going to Italy to study their ways in the church. While he was there a wedding was to be performed and they wanted to have an "American" wedding so they invited the young priest to observe this American wedding.

All went well until the ring was asked for. The groomsman took out the ring and threw it on the floor. As he did so, a man came running from the back of the church. He ran through all the people pinching the women on the boobs, until he got to the front of the church where he ran out the side door.

The groomsman picked up the ring, proceeded to hand it to the groom and the wedding carried on without a hitch.

Afterward, the Italian Priests asked the American Priest what he thought of their American wedding. "Well," he said. "It was pretty much like an American wedding, all right. Except for the guy who ran down through the church pinching all the women on the boobs. What was that all about?"

The Italian Priests looked suprised. They answered, "That's how you do it in America."

"No, it isn't" insisted the American Priest. "Whatever gave you that idea?"

"Well, it is right here in the paper," said the Italian Priest. And he pulled out a faded, well-worn piece of newspaper. He unfolded it and showed it to the American Priest. "Right there," he says. "Read right there. It tells all about it."

The American Priest read the clipping: "The groomsman dropped the ring, AND A NERVOUS TITTER RAN THROUGH THE CROWD."
 
OldDog,

The boot barn is a nice store but a little over priced. Used to buy tonz of stuff there cause of there little punch cards. Spend $500.00 and you get a $50.00 free coupon. The place I recommend if you are even remotely close.....try the Broken horn Saddlery off the #10 East highway in Baldwin Park. This is by far the best western tack shop/feed store that I know of. They have everything you could possibly think of, they'll fix your saddle, put new soles on your boots, have every type of jeans you could possibly think of in every size. Boot and Hat section is extensive. Saddles, ropes....they have it all. I'm like a kid in a candy store when I go into that shop. If you can't find something they will and order it in for you.

Website: www.brokenhornsaddlery.com
Looks like they even cator to those whom are outside Ca: 800-367-6492


You should check it out! Selection is awesome!!

Usgal~
 
V¬ worked at the Boot Barn out here in California and got a big Discount there - she still has friends that workthere and grt their discount for her.

There is some place in Navada or Idaho whwer she goes once a year on a trip and stops and comes home with 7 or 8 pair,
 

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