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LARRY THE CABLE GUY

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katrina

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THIS CABLE GUY HUMOR IS FUNNY BUT UNFORTUNATELY ITS TRUE!
THE MAN S A GENIUS!!!

Everyone concentrates on the problems we're having in Our Country lately: Illegal immigration, hurricane recovery, alligators attacking people in Florida . ... .. ..
Not me -- I concentrate on solutions for the problems -- it's a win-win situation.
* Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border.
* Send the dirt to New Orleans to raise the level of the levees.
* Put the Florida alligators in the moat along the Mexican border.

Any other problems you would like for me to solve today?
Think about this:
1. Cows
2. The Constitution
3.. The Ten Commandments

COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country .. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.

THE CONSTITUTION
They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq ..... why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for over 200 years, and we're not using it anymore.

THE 10 COMMANDMENTS
The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this -- you cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of politicians, it creates a hostile work environment.

Also, think about this ....... if you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone --
YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM!

GET ER DONE! God Bless Always. You can not do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late.
 

gcreekrch

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Kind of off the track but I was listening to Larry this past winter when he was telling about going to see a dentist and sitting in the waiting room.

For lack of anything else available to read he picked up a Cosmopolitan.

Right there on the front cover was the heading, "Six Sexual Mistakes That Men Make".

He said, "My goodness, that's 3 a minute!"
 

loomixguy

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Larry is just a Nebraska boy who hasn't forgotten where he came from, kinda like Johnny Carson. He has his own skybox at Memorial Stadium and owns several sale barns here, for sure the 77 Sale barn in Beatrice. A college buddy of mine sold it to him.

I hope that Jigs is a big fan and has helped line Larry's pockets.....be kinda funny for some of Jigs' dough to wind up helping to pay for a skybox at the school Jiggsy hates so much! :wink: 8) :lol:
 

jigs

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typical Husker , yes he is...he coined the phrase "git er done" while he and his buddies were doinking sheep in a barn....typical male husker activity..
 

loomixguy

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jigs said:
typical Husker , yes he is...he coined the phrase "git er done" while he and his buddies were doinking sheep in a barn....typical male husker activity..

"Doinking sheep in a barn"? "Typical male Husker activity"? Damned if you don't sound extremely jealous, Jiggsy! Wassamatter? You MildCats having troubles getting those goats stump-broke? :twisted: :twisted: :shock: :roll: :wink:
 

jigs

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you seem to have ample time to harass lately....shouldn't you be down greeting dykes at the Willa Cather museum???
 

loomixguy

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jigs said:
you seem to have ample time to harass lately....shouldn't you be down greeting dykes at the Willa Cather museum???

I suppose I could, but it's more fun to irritate you. Their big spring conference should be coming up...I bet cousin Mary could fix you up to be a volunteer tour guide. Might need to shave your legs, though.... :wink:
 

kris

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leanin' H said:
That's funny right there! I don't care who ya are that's funny!! Lord, I apologize and bless the starvin' pigmys. :lol: :lol: :lol:

YES, THAT IS FUNNY!!
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
 

jigs

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cousin Mary been in the family for 20 years, and the only time shesaid more than hello to me was at her wedding reception ...she said there won't be any of that rock and roll played here..... so I had my opinion of her made real fast....

are you the grand marshall this year for the cather land book fair ?
 

loomixguy

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jigs said:
cousin Mary been in the family for 20 years, and the only time shesaid more than hello to me was at her wedding reception ...she said there won't be any of that rock and roll played here..... so I had my opinion of her made real fast....

are you the grand marshall this year for the cather land book fair ?

'Fraid not. Word is Bill Snyder got the job this year. Boy, you sure seem to know a LOT about what goes on for Willa Catheter. You sure you don't have a "closet" interest in Willa? You ARE a native son up here.
 

jigs

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is it true you are starting a dykes on bikes Willa Cather chapter over there??? get them lesbos on a harley and it will be hard to define which one is the hog !!!
 

loomixguy

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jigs said:
is it true you are starting a dykes on bikes Willa Cather chapter over there??? get them lesbos on a harley and it will be hard to define which one is the hog !!!

Sorry, Jiggsy...Dad told me never to argue with idiots....all they ever do is drag you down to their level and then beat you to death with experience. :wink:
 

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