Which treatment is he gonna get?
Three mates are down the pub. Bill and Joe are arguing about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third bloke, Fred, says nothing.
After a while, Bill turns to Fred and says, "Well, what about you? What sort of control have you got?"
"I'll tell you," Fred replies. "Just the other night my missus came crawling to me on her hands and knees."
The other two were absolutely amazed. "What happened then?", Joe asked.
"She said, 'Get out from under the bed and fight like a man!!!".
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The Silent Treatment!
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."