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Married Life

Juan

Well-known member
!!


MARRIED LIFE - MAKES MY EYES TEAR UP, SUCH A HAPPY ENDING !!
A couple had only been married for two weeks and the husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."

"Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife.

"I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face," he answered. I'm going to have a beer."

The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany , Holland , Japan , India , etc.


The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, Lollipop... but at the bar... You know... they have frozen glasses.. "



He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?" She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.



The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"

"You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and little quiches.

"But my sweet honey... at the bar.... you know there's swearing, dirty words and all that..."

"You want dirty words, Cutie Pie? LISTEN UP & SIT YOUR DUMB ASS DOWN, SHUT THE HELL UP, DRINK YOUR BEER IN YOUR FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR HORS D'OEUVRES BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISN'T GOING TO A DAMNED BAR! THAT IS OVER, GOT IT, JACKASS?"

and...they lived happily ever after. Isn't that a sweet story





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Judith

Well-known member
I'm thinking that sweety pie, muffin, love boat has some serious control issues! :D Ya gotta love women with such low self esteem that they can't let hubby go out an have a cold one with their buddies :)
 

Jinglebob

Well-known member
Judith said:
I'm thinking that sweety pie, muffin, love boat has some serious control issues! :D Ya gotta love women with such low self esteem that they can't let hubby go out an have a cold one with their buddies :)

Man, I can't believe your ex let you get away, if you feel this way! :shock:
 

Judith

Well-known member
Apparently my ex had a thing for really mean ( and I mean wicked) brunettes :) I do believe he is enjoying the dog poop shoved up his tailpipe, the side of his van being smashed in and the rest of stuff though. :wink:
 

IL Rancher

Well-known member
Judith said:
Apparently my ex had a thing for really mean ( and I mean wicked) brunettes :) I do believe he is enjoying the dog poop shoved up his tailpipe, the side of his van being smashed in and the rest of stuff though. :wink:

Lol.. I'm thinking a certain pookie might be enjoying hearing about these things just a tad too... Just maybe? Perchance? My mother in law has some great stories about one of her exes.. Always brings a bit of a smile to my face and a bit of fear as I bet my wife has a bit of that in her too...
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
IL Rancher said:
Judith said:
Apparently my ex had a thing for really mean ( and I mean wicked) brunettes :) I do believe he is enjoying the dog poop shoved up his tailpipe, the side of his van being smashed in and the rest of stuff though. :wink:

Lol.. I'm thinking a certain pookie might be enjoying hearing about these things just a tad too... Just maybe? Perchance? My mother in law has some great stories about one of her exes..

Yeah- I can almost hear a "Lillith" lilt in her typing voice.... :wink: :lol: :p
 

Judith

Well-known member
Why IL, I'm shocked that you would even think that I would take any pleasure at all in hearing about the poor fellows woes. :!: :twisted:




(OK I do find it a bit funny that he traded in a cute, hardworking, smiley, goofy blonde for a really nasty controlling hard looking done over by the world brunette but really wouldnt you :D )

I just tell him that the grass must have looked really green that day :) Boys!!!!! Keep your pants on!!!! Nuff said :)
 

IL Rancher

Well-known member
Grass is always greener I suppose, just better make sure to take one look back before crossing that fence because it is amazing what a change in perspective can do for you, or so I am told by the 4 guys I know who are either just divorced or going through one right now.. Stupid is as stupid does and I would sa at least 90% of the problem was the fellas controll issues.. Either controllng the liquor, countrolling their pants or trying to control their wife so much as to smuther the poor gal..

As far as me thinking that you would enjoy the stories Judith, shooot, don't know who wouldn't to some extent.
 
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