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Most embarrassing first date!

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fedup2

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received this in an e-mail this morning.
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"We have all had bad dates, but this takes the cake.
This just tells you how tough it is to be single nowadays. This was on the
"Tonight Show" with Jay Leno.

Jay went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first
date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience

There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!

She said it was midwinter... snowing and quite cold... and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah. It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly had never met before.

The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed
home late that afternoon. They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte.
They were about an hour away from anywhere with a restroom and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her pee beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car.

They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started to pee in the deep snow. She didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.

Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly gluedagainst the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to pump handles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold. Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date's concerns about "what is taking so long" with a reply that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off and in need of some assistance!"

He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma.
Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem.

Both agreed it would need something hot to free her chilly cheeks from
the grip of the icy metal!
Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way,
her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender. As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down or perhaps that should be "pants down."
And you thought your first date was embarrassing.

Jay Leno's comment.. "This gives a whole new meaning to being pi$$ed off."
 

the_jersey_lilly_2000

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Remember the cartoon, Pepe LePew? I went on a date once with a fella named "Bubba" to the drive in movies.............I shoulda know'd better, I felt like that poor cat on the cartoon.'


And it was the first, and the last date with "Bubba"
 

Soapweed

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reader (the Second) said:
Having just had an awkward first date and feeling rather moody about the whole first date thing, this was a WONDERFUL and welcome funny story. It cheered me up. What could possibly match this for awkwardness?! :wink:

Well, Reader 2, you could give us the particulars of your "awkward first date" and knowing the bunch on Ranchers.Net, you'd probably have all kinds of free advice on how to make your next "first date" go better. Just a friendly suggestion. :wink: :)
 

Mike

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Hah hah. Actually I'll be going on my third date with this guy on the weekend. Probably still be awkward. Dating at 55. Yuck. Believe me I have several male friends who are giving me advice. Ironically, one of them is really paranoid as was my daughter Smile

All we want to hear about is the first foray into the boudoir and how awkward it was. Maybe this weekend? Be sure and keep notes. :wink: :wink:
 

PPRM

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Canadians already were revolutionized from the long winters, LOL...

On the original post, all I got to say is........Gee Whiz, LOL,

PPRM
 

katrina

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Self Improvemant books??? You don't need that......Take a fitness class, go for a walk, or join a walking group. A cooking class. A new wardrobe. Flowers. Massage, facial, Call an old classmate you haven't talked to in a long time. Actually you are just fine the way you are.



Do we have a song going here????
 

katrina

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I always suffer this time of the year. Gain weight, get spring fever but everything is as dorment as can be... Crave cucumbers..... Nothing to look foreward to till calving.
I've got the dts since Carter now has his drivers liscense. I'm no longer chauffer. I miss it. I still have my friday job at the dental office though. Thank God.........
 

PPRM

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Seriously reader,


Enjoy dating at this age. I'd think it would be fun as the people we have become to meet folks. Especially as comfortable as we should be with who we are. Hope nothing but gems come your way,

PPRM
 

feeder

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You guys are tooooo funny. Understand what you are saying Shelly, guys will use any trick in the book!!! If they have the "problem" they can "deal" with it!!!! LOL
 

Shelly

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katrina said:
Soooooooooo is that what you get when you go commando??? :?
Like freezing the b...s off a brass monkey??? :???:

Not quite. How do I put this delicately??? Oh well, seeing as it's me, I'll just be blunt. Men say they'll die of blue b***s if they don't get "some" soon. :oops:
 

Shelly

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feeder said:
You guys are tooooo funny. Understand what you are saying Shelly, guys will use any trick in the book!!! If they have the "problem" they can "deal" with it!!!! LOL

Quess that's where knowing the "Palm" sisters comes in handy! (Did I just say that out loud?)
 

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