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Ranchers.net

This all started when Montana cow gurl and I were flying to San Diego last January. The airport was getting a flurry of snow, a fast moving white out type of storm. Flights were delayed until the storm was over. A bunch of business people were booked on that flight and you would have thought the world would end in the next 15 minutes the way they all panicked cause they could not get going. We sat and smiled, I guess we have been through too many real problems to let something like a late plane ruin the day. Last week, the same thing happened again going to Little Rock. So pen in hand and pad in lap, I had to put this together. I know that lady sitting next to me thought I needed that sleeveless white coat, I would write, laugh, think, write, laugh, think and she kept looking over to see what I was doing. At least I wasn't reading it out loud so I knew how it would sound :oops:

NEW TECHNOLOGY

I knew I was out of my element
As I strolled down that big hall,
Walking to the boarding gate,
For a flight to Minneapolis/St Paul.

All of these people with leather brief cases
Wearing wingtips and fancy suits,
Me, I’m in my good felt hat,
Complete with Wranglers and packer boots.

Horror of all horrors
Came over the PA.
Poor weather has caused some flights,
To experience a short delay.

You would have thought the end was near,
We would soon meet our own demise.
Believe what I’m telling you,
I seen it with these very eyes.

Out came all of the cel phones
The place was all a buzz,
People all excited, ready to leave,
This old world as it was.

All of them had laptops going,
Busily typing away,
Can’t let a late flight,
Ruin a preplanned day.

I just sat back and watched
With a smirk upon my face,
Wasn’t nothin’ I could do,
So I stayed put, sitting in my place.

Saw a guy in the corner,
Must be talkin’ to himself,
By the looks of his suit,
A man of considerable wealth.

Stood there talking away,
Couldn’t believe what I could hear,
The he turned sideways to me,
Had this little phone thing, hanging from his ear!

Big lines with people changing flights,
Tempers a flairin’, lots of tails tied in a knot.
Their gonna be late for a meeting,
What a predicament they’ve got!

Had a feller sitting next to me,
Panicked on his laptop, cel phone in hand,
Don’t worry I said, the plane it can’t take off,
Until they know that it can land.

Then he pulled out this Blackberry thingy,
And commenced to let out a scream,
I always thought blackberries
Were something you put on ice cream.

Poor lady at the ticket counter,
She was beginning to lose her mind,
I was thinking to myself,
Sure glad my job ain’t her kind.

Heard one of them say, “let’s drive to Denver,
We could get a flight out of there”,
Meanwhile in the corner, the bald guy,
Is losing more of his hair.

I continued to stay calm,
And sat there in my space,
Probably looked like the Cheshire cat
With that big grin upon my face.

Then over the PA it came,
The storm is starting to subside,
Passengers can now start boarding,
This plane will give you a ride.

Tragedy was averted,
These suits would get where they’re going,
Courtesy of Delta Airlines,
And a company called Boeing.

Now I’m not trying to make fun
Of these suits, who ride up in the front seat.
Thanks to them I have an idea,
One that surely can’t be beat.

When I get home, I’m going to buy a bunch,
Of those new Blackberry things,
Cause I have got me a thought
And this one will fly, it’s been given wings!

I’m going to put my phone number in them all,
Entered into the speed dial,
May take most of a day,
In the end it will all be worthwhile.

Then I’m going to put one,
On every single cow,
That way when the herd panics,
They could call me up right now!

I could then sit in the house, waiting for a call,
Coming from some bovine friend,
Why with just a punch from a hoof,
A text message they could send!

Now they will be able to call me,
When their baby is having stress,
No longer will I have to check on them,
Or in my Carharts dress.

The cows could then message me,
When they are running out of food,
I will teach them to not call at dinner time,
I’ll teach them that is rude.

I could in turn call them, with directions,
For the pasture they go to next,
I could even dial up the bulls,
To tell them which months they can have sex!

I could call up the those darn yearlings,
When they get out and roam,
It would be just like teenage kids,
Call them up and tell them, get your butt home.

I have all of these great plans for me,
And my new idea and power,
But it occurred to me, cel phones don’t work out here
Unless you drive for about an hour!

I guess my plan will have to wait,
Till new technology is born,
How can a cow hold a cel phone to her ear,
Especially one with horn?
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