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No brats allowed!

katrina

Well-known member
Bottom line is:
I'm damn sick and tired of being in a public place and having unrulely, rude, loud kids being a bother...... And you can bet it won't be mine...... :wink:
 

Red Robin

Well-known member
My kids all know the rules clearly but even if they don't know the rule, I've always switched them anyway. They'll know the rule next time. We've always used a switch. No chance of hurting them. Only one switch per offense. Always stings enough to make the point. My wife says if you love your kids you'll raise them right so everyone else will love them as well and life will be a plesant experience for them. Another thing , while we're at it. We switch as a capital punishment for almost every offense. No time out, grounding, etc. Switching effectivly says the debt is paid. Grounding and timeout extends the negative feeling for a kid. Switchings get it over with , debt paid, now go play. I guarantee you it is a very rare day in deed when my kids ever do anything unplesant in public. They have over the years and we diciplined them on the spot...or as soon as we could get to a switch. :wink: Edit: I can't remember the last switching I gave but it's been awhile. I remember the last kisses and huggs , they were this morning. Next round of huggs and kisses will be bed time with a few scattered through out the day. My kids would break their back to do what I ask.
 

OldDog/NewTricks

Well-known member
Northern Rancher said:
BMR the phrase I heard most often was "I should of drowned you and fed the milk to the pigs' lol.

An how did that make you feel? GOOD?

V_Key's mother was/is full of "You Can'ts" - You can't do that or this - - Can't you be good - but the kid never know what or how she "Could Be" or wanted her to be good!

I think I always told her "You Can" if not that way "Try This" - - Thank You for Being Good

Divorce:
I was packing to "get out" as asked!
V_Key told her Mother -
This Is My House - Dad and I Live Here.

I could never have done that!

But a Brag
That was a kid that knew what side her bread was buttered on :) Joke
 

Northern Rancher

Well-known member
Ohh I survived it-I've got less trouble with unruly kids than noisy bothersome adults-seen a few of those in my travels too. The odd colt that bucked grew up to be a good horse too.
 

OldDog/NewTricks

Well-known member
katrina said:
Bottom line is:
I'm damn sick and tired of being in a public place and having unrulely, rude, loud kids being a bother...... And you can bet it won't be mine...... :wink:

Are you saying you leave your Kids Home :!: :roll: :D :D
 

katrina

Well-known member
Yes.........
Kids arn't always appropriate....... Mine don't go to funerals till their old enough to understand.. We have places like bars......No place for my kids. Even have a place where you can go dancing in a big red barn. They serve liquor alot of parents take their kids get hammered and stay out late. I might go dancing, have a drink, but you can bet my kids are tucked away in bed at home......
 

Ranchy

Well-known member
EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :nod:

Parents just don't seem to want to take the time to raise their kids right anymore. :roll:

I have a heck of a time with a couple of my 4-Hers.......a 10 year old and a 12 year old...........those girls just don't mind anyone, they won't sit still, won't be quiet so the meetings can go on...........the President and I have decided that next time this happens, those girls are gonna get escorted out of the room, until they can behave themselves...........:nod:

That being said, Al was one of those good kids that I gave exactly one spanking to, when he was about 2, because he wouldn't stay in bed and take a nap, and he was so tired he couldn't see straight. Hubby gave him exactly one spanking, too........because he wouldn't take his asthma medicine like he thought Al should. That really didn't set well with me, I had the situation under control, and he butted in....... :evil:

Those kinda kids are few and far between, from what I've observed in my adulthood, though...
 

Mrs.Greg

Well-known member
Northern Rancher said:
Ohh I survived it-I've got less trouble with unruly kids than noisy bothersome adults-seen a few of those in my travels too. The odd colt that bucked grew up to be a good horse too.
Really well said :!: :!:
 

ranch hand

Well-known member
When I was in school if you got sent to the Principles office the paddle came out. Not many kids made the trip more than once. Now they can't even give a kid a hug if they are hurt or for being good with out being sued. Then they wonder why our prisions are full.
 

passin thru

Well-known member
Reminds me of my kids when they were supposed to be home at a certain time. Each kid was late one time and each time I met them on the highway to find them. Guess having your parents come get you would be a little emberassing. Never happened again, unless they knew they were going to be late and called.
 

ranchwife

Well-known member
This topic has had so very many interesting postings that I simply cannot help but to respond!! My two oldest children are also "children of divorce" and while my oldest one has had some "difficulties", he takes full responsibility for them! He has never once blamed me, his bio-father nor my husband! My daughter (also by first hubby) is just the opposite...honor roll, college bound, never in trouble with the law (yes, knock on wood!! :wink: )! My cowboyup and I raised those two oldest the same way as our two boys we had together....with love (UNCONDITIONAL), rules, restrictions (some call them "boundaries"), and discipline! Our kids have always known where we stand.....TOGETHER! In that, I have been very, very lucky to have had someone by my side who will back me (and i back him in return) when it comes to the rules of the household! In too many situations, the parents simply cannot agree on simple rules and boundaries and the kids learn that at a young age and FEED on it!! Ya know the old saying "If mom says no, just ask Dad!!". Yes, my kids have tried that a time or two and have found out that it does not work!
It has been several years since I last had to swat one of the kids on the old hiney.....THANK GOD!! I guess mama was right when she said "this hurts me more than it hurts you"...so very true!! I think I cried as hard as the kids when a spanking was in order!! Now, they know that when I start COUNTING, that they have crossed the line! When I am driving, all I have to do is start slowing the car down and let them know I am about to "pull over".....amazing the difference that makes! They have learned that I love them with all my heart and soul and would die for them in a heartbeat, but they also know I keep my word!
 

mrj

Well-known member
Lots of good, caring parents and good points made.

However, it seems too little weight is put on the fact that kids are TAUGHT by everyone from school teachers to Sunday school teachers that they have the right to "report" parents for "abuse".

People employed in certain jobs are REQUIRED by law to report even SUSPECTED abuse.

I know a set of good caring parents whose "difficult" daughter lied in reporting her parents as "abusive" and they went through hell to settle it. They also feared it happening again, and lost control. Result: now in mid twenties, the daughter FINALLY is turning into a decent individual........but she did get pregnant before marriage, and went through some years of not caring properly for the children.

There are children, some of them extremely bright, with very good parents doing everything correctly, who will still have out-of-control tantrums when denied a treat, or even for no apparent reason they can articulate, or when tired, excited and happy, or confused about their hectic schedules. That doesn't mean the parents, or the child, are wrong or have a problem. It seems to require parents very dedicated to doing things right. Sometimes that is to just tough it out, removing the child to privacy when possible. Then, when it is over, I've seen such children embarrased, contrite, and even apologetic. With love and prayers and firm discipline, the tantrums are outgrown, usually by age 8 or 10. Parents of children like that deserve a very special place in heaven, IMO.

Judging, or even criticizing any parent whose child/ren 'pitch a fit' on occasion, or even frequently, serves no good purpose. Nor should one allow a tantrum prone child to run over the rest of the world. Tough calls!

The thing I'm most certain of: most parents want to do well by their kids, and many times it is just by the Grace of God that kids turn out well more than anything parents do right or do wrong. And when they don't turn out......parents are not always to blame. Even kids who truly are abused know right from wrong and are capable of taking the right path in their own lives. Not all who were abused repeat the abuse with their own families. Wonder why that is?

MRJ
 

ranchwife

Well-known member
Excellent post, MRJ!!! :D :D :D :D

My sister and I were raised under the SAME roof, by the SAME people and had the SAME rules to abide by!! Yet, by the age of 13, my sister had broken every rule (and several of God's own commandments) and was on her way to some serious trouble!! The one big difference in our upbringing was the fact that she had our bio-father backing her each and every step!! She was the one who would go running to "daddy dearest" in Florida each time she got into trouble and he would go to bat for her and protect her! Even when she got into trouble for drinking and sneaking out at the age of 12, he backed her and sent a plane ticket for her to come live with him!! 4 years later, he sent her back! Couldn't take it....not one person in our house ever looked at him and said "told ya so"...but, I was sure thinking it!! :x Parents HAVE to stick together....whether married or divorced, you have to come to agreement on the way to raise your kids and the rules they live by!! Best of luck to all out there who are raising kids!! Mama told me it would be "the toughest job you will ever have....the most rewarding and the most painful...enjoy it while you can!"
:wink: :wink: :wink:
 

EastTexasGal

Well-known member
I guess I was not blessed with a father that wanted to cooperate when he left, he left me and my sons! One was graduating the other was 13. The 13 yr old was ANGRY...you do not deal with a boy hitting puberty with Anger right back. I was blessed that morally my sons did know how to pay respect to adults. I have been told more than one occasion how they respected the adults at school, and on 4-H and FFA trips. They both have accomplished a lot in school, from contest to academics. The thing about some of this was, my ex beat that into them. I never knew just how much till after he left and the boys had to go through THERAPY because of the anger they felt. (Love is blind, I trusted my ex with my own life, why not my sons?) And this anger was not used on anyone, it caused DEPRESSION, and ILLNESS....my oldest was DX with bleeding ulcer at 20, when he had to pass his PT in College for his senior ROTC level ..he could not run without throwing up anymore. This stems from DIVORCE!! and no UNLESS you lived through it yourself you do not know how a child will deal with it. WHICH is better for them to be sick with Bleeding Ulcers?? or trying to deal with your children on eye to eye level? This is something a parent without support has to deal with, a SINGLE PARENT. What is right and what is wrong?? on how to deal with your child. If we do this wrong and dont whip them, then they are going to be Delinquent? I DONT THINK THAT IS IN ALL CASES! you have to take each child separately and find why they are triggered the way they are...YEP OLD DOG You are right its how you treat a horse. You can not compare one child to another, you have no idea how or what has caused the child to be like they are. In a lot of cases you are probably right, parents that just dont care. But, that is not ALL cases!! I see a lot of low income families that just have kids to have them for that check. The kids in those families do what they do, to just get some attention that they need. IF one person gave those kids a hug, or spent some time seeing what was going on in their homes? dont you think that maybe we could cut down on our PRISON POPULATION?? over 60% of convicts barely have a elementary education.

Okay now I have had my say..being a single mom, I do know what it is like to raise my kids ALONE. And, you can ask either one of my boys and they will both say I am not a weak mom, I was STRICT. But, they were never afraid to talk to me either. My oldest graduated college in May and is working a good job, not where he wants to be...but, he is making a good living. My youngest has found himself and is on course again...seems they are like daylight and dark, but yet the same.

OOPS now the cake, if the child is 7 and the mom was totally ignoring that child..yes there is a problem. But, how do you know that she didnt take care of this once she got her groceries and got out of the store?

Just a thought and now I am going to bed....to much rambling I am sure, but just comparing one child to another cant happen!

Ya'll have a Great Saturday....

Easty
 

Mrs.Greg

Well-known member
I for one don't think this was a divorced parent verses married parent thread...it was about parenting well,and doing whats right for children.Its not easy being a bad parent but its alot harder being a good parent. Kids need rules and guidelines,along with a ton of love....that is the bottom line!!
 

EastTexasGal

Well-known member
I dont believe it was Div vs Married, it was a discussion. But, it was brought up. And, I do think that you have to look at each child independently, you can not treat one the same as another. They all react differently and it takes a different type of reprimand. There are to many that take a spanking, and blow up and get worse. I may have used my div as example, but it all comes down the same. IF the kid is beat into it, there are different outcomes...and one is that my oldest came out with a bleeding ulcer, caused by repressing to what his father made him do. There are a lot worse things happening with our children than anyone wants to recognize. I still use a hand, but not until I hear what the child has to say as to why they did what they did. And, when it is all said done...the punishment is carried out. You give that child a hug and you do talk more and see that they really understand what they did wrong. But the real discussion was that of spanking a child. That ,I dont believe every child is the same they all react differently and you have to really know YOUR CHILD to know what type of punishment works.
Mrs. Greg I do agree on rules and regulations, the last point I made was that the prison is full of people that grew up with parents having them for the money....they had no choice as to rules and regulations. They were either beat, or the parent could care less where that child was. The child had to raise themselves. Yes you are right, it is very hard to be a good parent, as I stated in my last post. You have to decide if the punishment equals the broke rule.

Everyone on here has a valid point, just the spanking part has to take a lot of thinking before you do it. I do agree that they are needed in some cases. I too signed a waiver at school for my boys to get pops instead of detention, so that they did not miss class where they were learning. But, a young child learns from what is done, as well as the meaning behind that spanking....spanking=anger= and in some cases that child will then take that out on someone or a pet. Samething with voices, YELLING at them gets you no where, you get a child that yells back. Children do learn by repetition...just like training a horse ;).

I will be quiet now...but, when you say that general statement. You need to realize that there are other issues with each child. What is needed and what is being done, is out of that childs Control...and sometimes it is out of the Parents Control.
 

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