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Notice to All Employees

Larrry

Well-known member
Notice to All Employees

As of November 5, 2008 , after President Obama has been officially elected into office, our company will be operating with a few new policies that are in keeping with his new programs related to change and fairness:

1. All sales people will be pooling their salaries, commissions and bonuses into a common pool that will be divided equally among all sales people. This will serve to give the under-achievers a "fair share".

2. All factory workers will be pooling their wages, including overtime, so that it may be divided equally among all factory workers. This will help those who are "too busy to work overtime" reap rewards from those who have more spare time and can work extra hours.

3. All top management will now be referred to as "the government" and will not participate in this "pooling" experience as the rules will not apply to us.

4. The "government", however, will give eloquent speeches to all employees on a regular basis so as to encourage it's workers to continue to work hard "for the common good."

5. All employees should welcome these new policies as it is "fair" and "patriotic" to evenly distribute the wealth. Those of you who are underachievers and unproductive will now share in the success of those who have won "life's lottery".

It is acknowledged, however, that those who are the achievers and producers may have a hard time trying to to accept these new policies, but eventually they will see that they are only doing what is right when they share what they have earned with those who, for whatever reason, do not achieve or produce anything.

If you have lost your job, due to the slow down in our economy (caused by Bush's failed economic policies) don't worry. President Obama will still see to it that you receive free healthcare, earned income tax credits, free heating oil for your homes, free food stamps, and a lot of other good free stuff, and you will be allowed to stay in your home for as long as you want, even if you can't make your mortgage payments. If you appeal directly to the Democratically controlled Congress you may even get a free flat screen TV and a coupon for free haircuts. After all, shouldn't every citizen have the right to watch "Sex and the City" on a nice TV and have a good looking haircut?

Where will the money come from to support all of this free stuff? Oh, don't worry about that, just enjoy.

If for any reason you do not believe these policies can work for very long you may want to rethink who are going to vote for on November the 4th.
 
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