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NY flyover investigation

VanC

Well-known member
Following is a transcript of yesterday’s White House press conference, in which Press Secretary Robert Gibbs addressed the New York fly-over of Air Force One, the ensuing uproar, and the investigation ordered by President Barack Obama.


GIBBS: I want to address the unfortunate events in New York yesterday involving the back-up Air Force One plane. Clearly, flying the Presidential plane low over the city that suffered the worst attack on American soil, trailed by two fighter planes, might have been a bit ill-advised. But I’m happy to report that no one in the White House actually knew about it. Yes, Jake.

JAKE TAPPER: You’re happy?

GIBBS: Ecstatic.

TAPPER: But shouldn’t someone in the White House have known about this?

GIBBS: Oh Jake. Sweet, sweet Jake. We’re trying to run a country here. We need to prioritize. And sometimes things like the location of the Air Force One back-up and the presence of fighter planes over our most populated city get back-burnered.

TAPPER: But-

GIBBS: Besides, the President is furious.

TAPPER: So is Mayor Bloomberg.

GIBBS: Let me assure you, the President is furiouser.

TAPPER: Furiouser?

GIBBS: Double-secret furious.

TAPPER: So now the President has called for an investigation?

GIBBS: Absolutely. We need to harness the full power of the government to get to the bottom of a frivolous event that cost the American taxpayer $328,835.

TAPPER: How much will the report cost?

GIBBS: Are we talking laminated?

TAPPER: Why not.

GIBBS: $47,345.

TAPPER: How-

GIBBS: Look, Jake. I know there are many Americans who will see some sort of superficial irony in spending taxpayer money to investigate a waste of taxpayer money, but that’s a gross simplification of an issue that has many layers and nuances that I just can’t get into here. Suffice it to say, we should be grateful to have a President who can fathom it’s staggering complexities.

TAPPER: I–

GIBBS: Are you grateful, Jake?

TAPPER: Excuse me?

GIBBS: I’m not feeling your gratitude, Jake. It’s something else. It’s colder.

TAPPER: I guess I’m missing the complexity.

GIBBS: Of course you are, Jake. We all are. Look around you. The other folks in this room don’t always understand the logic behind the President’s decisions. But, unlike you, they’ve grown comfortable with the idea that this is a unique and special man who defies our comprehension. Tell him Helen.

HELEN THOMAS: I like pudding.

GIBBS: Of course you do. And I’m going to get you some as soon as Mr. Tapper here is finished playing tough guy reporter. Are we finished, Jake, or did you want to keep the venerable Miss Thomas from her pudding?

TAPPER: I guess I’m done.

GIBBS: Why not spend some time tonight reflecting on what you’ve learned today, Jake.
 

Mike

Well-known member
Look, Jake. I know there are many Americans who will see some sort of superficial irony in spending taxpayer money to investigate a waste of taxpayer money, but that’s a gross simplification of an issue that has many layers and nuances that I just can’t get into here. Suffice it to say, we should be grateful to have a President who can fathom it’s staggering complexities.

My personal favorite. :lol: :lol:
 
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