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Obama admits failure to keep us safe

VanC

Well-known member
Obama Fails to Keep Country Safe From Dick Cheney
May 21, 2009


Washington - President Barack Obama has said his first priority is to keep the American people safe. While he has kept them safe from attacks from terrorist organizations and other foreign entities thus far, he has not been able to keep them safe from the man who is perhaps the administration’s fiercest enemy - former Vice President Dick Cheney. Mr. Obama acknowledged as much in a press briefing today at the White House.

“I have to look at it honestly and objectively, and when I do that, I see that I haven’t done the job,” the president said. “Vice President Cheney is still out there, speaking, scaring the bejeezus out of kids and nervous people everywhere, and I have to take some of the blame for that.”

Mr. Cheney has been on what has amounted to a media blitz of late, appearing on several television programs and making public speeches, attempting to defend harsh interrogation policies authorized by the Bush Administration. Americans have been exposed to Cheney far more often than some of them would like.

Jane Armster of Portland, Oregon said she thought the worst was over. “You know the election happened, and I thought, ‘Wow, he’s gone. Cheney’s really gone.’ And then here we are, what, a few months later, and he’s back. And he’s on TV all the time. He’s everywhere. It’s like he’s vice president all over again, except this time he has the energy to appear in public and talk all the time. It’s terrifying.”

Mike Mansher of Cleveland, Ohio said, “I feel like I’m in some kind of time warp or something. Like it’s 2003 again. And I hated 2003. I was dating this chick, and she was just a nightmare. Clingy, psycho. Hated my friends. So I don’t want to go back there again, thank you very much.”

Washington was abuzz this morning over a Washington Post report that Mr. Cheney is amassing a private army made up of thousands of paid soldiers ready to fight the U.S. military, if necessary. The former vice president is also named in separate Post story as “someone who expressed interest” in obtaining a black market nuclear weapon or the materials to make such a weapon by a Pakistani man in British custody who is awaiting trial on terrorism charges. The man, Ejaz Youseff, claims to have “extensive firsthand knowledge” of the nuclear weapons black market.

Lynne Headman, a spokeswoman in Mr. Cheney’s Washington, D.C. office, called both stories “flatly untrue.”

“Vice President Cheney has never pursued the purchase of a nuclear weapon,” Ms. Headman said. “And if he did, he would pay for it above board, fair and square and using the proper channels. Like he does with all his other weapons of mass destruction.”

Mr. Obama vowed to fight the forces of Mr. Cheney with new resolve, but said he won’t go beyond the rule of law.

“What I won’t do is torture, or do anything else that undermines the rule of law or goes against our founding principles,” he said. “We can defeat our enemies without sacrificing the moral authority that is our greatest currency. We can do that even against an enemy as formidable as Dick Cheney.”
 

Faster horses

Well-known member
He's saying he won't torture Dick Cheney???
That is really an odd thing to say and it should go without saying.
The thought must have crossed his mind at one point.

Geeeezzzzz. This guy get more squirrely every day. :shock: :x
 

MsSage

Well-known member
hmmm and the ad about Nancy was below the belt......
Portraying Cheney as a Militant who is amassing nuclear arms is OK?
 

Mike

Well-known member
MsSage said:
hmmm and the ad about Nancy was below the belt......
Portraying Cheney as a Militant who is amassing nuclear arms is OK?

Liberal Moonbats have always had a double standard. :roll:

I'll bet Cheney leading a tea party would get some attention.. :lol:
 

hypocritexposer

Well-known member
I like this one from the same satire website.

Washington - Senator Walter Shitonface (D-WI) urged his senate colleagues to swiftly pass a bill to ease the process of officially and legally changing one’s name in the United States. Shitonface said his desire to see the legislation made into law had nothing to do with a displeasure with his own name, though he acknowledged an awareness of the difficulty of going through life with a name that is easily made fun of.

“This is not about me,” he told his colleagues from the Senate floor. “My name was given to me by my parents, Arthur and Lorraine Shitonface, and I am not ashamed of it. I never have been. Nor was my son Lloyd Shitonface ever ashamed. However, my grandson, Timmy Shitonface, is coming of age in a much more cruel, difficult time, it seems. He has endured relentless mockery at school, certainly worse than what I suffered. They say–Well, they don’t have to change the name at all, do they? And isn’t that the shame of it? All they have to do is call him by his name. ‘Hey, Shitonface, where are you going?’ ‘Oh, it’s Mr. Shitonface himself.’ That kind of thing. Just imagine what it’s like for him in the bathroom.”

The senator said it’s not just members of his own family he’s concerned about. Thousands of people across the country, he says, seek to change their names each year, but many give up due to the bureaucratic obstacles they find standing in their way.

“I met a young girl recently named Amanda Uglycrotch,” Senator Shitonface said. “You can imagine, she gets it pretty bad at school, too. She came to me out of desperation, looking for help, after attempting to get her name officially changed by going through the proper channels as they currently exist. She so desperately wants this bill passed. I can honestly say, after getting to know her, I want it almost as desperately myself. This girl shouldn’t have to deal with the thought that her crotch might be ugly every time she hears her name spoken, just as my son should not have to endure the thought that there is feces on his face, when there is not.”

The senate’s vote on the bill could come as early as Friday. Senator Shitonface, who said he hopes to get at least ten Republicans to cross the aisle and vote with him on the bill, was later seen lunching with friend Glen Hugeass.
 

VanC

Well-known member
Yes, I almost put that one up, hypo, but I prefer the ones that target real people. The thing I like best about this site is that they're not a bunch of partisan hacks that only target Republicans or Democrats. They go after everyone. Sometimes it's pretty lame, but sometimes it's hilarious, at least to me. I've put up a few recently about Obama and Biden. In the interest of fair play, here's three of my favorites from the past about some folks that the left loves to hate:

Rove Searching for New Unqualified Politician to Work With
May 16, 2008

Washington - These days, you can see Karl Rove on Fox News, where he serves as an on-air analyst, or read his columns in Newsweek or The Wall Street Journal. But what many people don’t know is that when he isn’t opining on the current election-year politics, he’s out pounding the pavement, searching for a new unusually underqualified politician that he can team up with. In short, he’s looking for a replacement for George W. Bush.

“What you’re looking for is someone who knows power, and is comfortable in those circles, but has no actual skills or acumen,” Rove said, as he sipped coffee and walked down a street in the upscale Dupont Circle section of Washington. He said he’s hoping to find a young, wealthy man, ideally the beneficiary of a large family fortune who doesn’t have much to do with his time and has no real desire to do anything in particular. “But you want them at that stage where they’re beginning to get sick of doing nothing,” Rove continued. “Where they’ve been hanging out and doing keg stands and bong hits so long that all that’s really getting old. They’re looking for something, but they don’t know what it is. That’s when I show up and say I have what they need. First they think I’m there to sell them pot, but then I tell them I can introduce them to the exciting world of politics. Then, usually I have to get past the initial disappointment that I really don’t have any pot to sell them. But eventually they get it, and they become interested.”

But Rove is not sure he’ll ever find a specimen as ideal as George W. Bush, whom Mr. Rove met when they were both young men. Rove convinced Bush to run for governor of Texas in 1994.

“It was a perfect relationship, really,” Mr. Rove said, almost with a sigh. “Because George, you know, he was like a piece of clay. He was so malleable, because of his low IQ and lack of understanding of what was going on around him, that you could just mold him into whatever you wanted him to be.”

Mr. Rove guided Mr. Bush to two terms as governor, and then two terms as President of the United States. Many people find this remarkable due to Mr. Bush’s lack of experience and/or qualifications. But Mr. Rove says that is precisely the point.

“You want someone with no qualifications. You want someone with as much of a blank slate as you can get, on his resume, but more importantly, in his head. Because then you can fill that head with whatever you need to be in there.” Rove continued, “Now, I don’t know that I’ll ever find a slate as blank as George’s. So, so blank. An endless canvas on which to create.” Rove looked down at his coffee and chuckled. “You know, you just have to ask yourself, ‘Can lightning strike twice?’ I don’t know, honestly. But I’m going to try to make it happen. Hey, look, there’s a dim-looking young guy getting out of that Porsche. I gotta go introduce myself.”

Study Finds Lifelong Link Between Bush, Flawed Intelligence
March 12, 2008

Washington – A Pentagon-sponsored study to be released Friday has found that President Bush has relied on deeply flawed intelligence since his birth. The report finds the intelligence, given to Bush by Bush, has been “almost wholly flawed,” and that it “has led to what appears to be an unending series of misguided decisions and actions, which have sometimes led to injury to George W. Bush or to others.”

The nonpartisan commission, formed by the Pentagon to delve into intelligence failings prior to the 2003 invasion of Iraq, engaged in extensive research of the intelligence Mr. Bush received prior to the war. What they discovered, according to Jason Margline, one of the report’s authors and a member of the commission, was that the problem was much deeper.

“We didn’t anticipate the extent of this,” Margline said. “We kept going further and further back, and eventually realized the issue wasn’t just with the intelligence prior to the war, but to President Bush’s intelligence throughout his entire life.” Margline said the committee found evidence of several stark instances where Mr. Bush’s flawed intelligence nearly led to disaster. “For instance, when he was seven, he tried to eat a rock. He thought it was an egg. And from the research we conducted, it seems his brain did in fact interpret the rock as an egg. Of course, it wasn’t, it was a rock. And naturally, his mother and father were alarmed when he bit into it. Several times.”

A few years later, another incident occurred, this one coming when Mr. Bush was about fifteen years old. “He was out on a boat with his brother, Jeb. And they were fishing. And when they were done, they pulled the boat to shore and got out of the boat. Well, George told Jeb he wanted to take a swim. So he removed his shirt and shoes, and jumped off the boat and into the sand. Jeb looked at him, startled, as George made swimming motions and tried to dive down deeper into the sand. And, of course, that didn’t work.”

President Bush, when asked about the report’s findings, said, “Well, I don’t put too much weight in these studies. Or I don’t put too many weight. Which is it, too much or to many weight? Well, anyway, what I was going to say is, the report is mistaken. My intelligence is completely satisfactory. No, it’s better than satisfactory. It’s inadequate.”

Cheney Eats Constitution
July 21, 2007

Washington - Vice President Dick Cheney said he needed something to cleanse his pallet after a particularly heavy first course, so he grabbed the United States Constitution, sitting on the table nearby, and devoured it. “There was no sorbet,” Cheney said. He was attending a White House dinner with various U.S. and foreign officials.

After he ate the document, Mr. Cheney, “Looked like he felt much better… He was certainly ready for the next course,” said an official who attended the dinner and requested anonymity.

The Constitution was apparently being passed around the table so each guest could have a chuckle, marveling at its quaint “rights” and “privileges.” Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, also a guest at the dinner, thought the document was part of the menu, and reportedly asked another guest what kind of fish “Habeas Corpus” is.
 
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Anonymous

Guest
I like this one from the same satire website.

The comedy is look at the Repubs you sucked in... :wink: :p :lol: They'll buy into any BS their cultist handlers tell them as long as it fits their FEARMONGERING or HATEMONGERING agenda...
 

TexasBred

Well-known member
Oldtimer said:
I like this one from the same satire website.

The comedy is look at the Repubs you sucked in... :wink: :p :lol: They'll buy into any BS their cultist handlers tell them as long as it fits their FEARMONGERING or HATEMONGERING agenda...

Fact is OT that Cheney does have Obama about to shat down both legs because he knows he can't shut Cheney up and he knows too that Cheney is telling the truth and there is no rebuttal to truth.
 
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