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Obama gets emotional over damage from tornado.

Steve

Well-known member
Obama remained relatively composed as he listened to residents tell him their stories of surviving the tornado

But when the President was shown what was left of a local golf course, he could contain his emotions no longer.

“This is unimaginable! This is the most heartbreaking thing I’ve ever seen in my life!” said the President, busting out in tears. “The whole town is destroyed and people have died, I know, but to see a perfectly good golf course reduced to this is just…just…. I’m sorry, I have to leave!”

The Lakeside Golf Course was a modest course located in the north end of Moore, and was popular with locals and residents of Oklahoma City. What was once a lush, rolling swath of finely kept 18-holed greenery

Lakeside’s head groundskeeper, Emily Heckenbach, met with Obama to discuss the course’s devastation. “Whatever it takes, no matter how much it costs, this golf course will be back to its former self. I promise you that!” Obama told Heckenbach. “No golf course deserves this, not even the cheapest ones!”

Obama promised as much federal aid to restoring Lakeside as possible. “I’m giving this top priority,” said the President. “To have a golf course destroyed like this is beyond comprehension. And to have it remain looking like this is unacceptable. What about the surviving people who enjoyed playing here? They deserve a future. And what about the children who would have played golf here eventually? …Where there is no golf, there is no hope!”

The President added he was confident the owners of Lakeside would no doubt be thankful for his commitment to restoring their golf course,

Craig Fugate, the head of the Federal Emergency Management Agency, has already been instructed to divert most of the agency’s recovery and cleanup efforts from helping the tornado’s victims and their property to rebuilding the Lakeside Golf Course.

“These people may not have homes and their lives may be destroyed, even lost, and we must help them rebuild their shattered community,” Obama told reporters, “but in the meantime these poor people need a place to play golf, and you better believe I’m going that to them. I feel their pain, believe me.”

posted for those who have missed their Borowitz reports..
 

Steve

Well-known member
and for the other side..

Obama Under Fire for Using Free Government Housing

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In the latest scandal to rock the Obama Administration, a leading Republican congressman accused the President today of using his position to obtain free government housing for himself and his family.

According to Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Wisconsin), Mr. Obama “has arrogantly exploited the office of President to gain access to a fifty-five-thousand-square-foot residence that could double as a museum.”

“While the average American is struggling to pay his bills, President Obama is living in a luxury home, adorned with priceless paintings and antiques as far as the eye can see,” Rep. Ryan alleged.

Additionally, the Wisconsin congressman said, the President has availed himself of “sumptuous free meals—breakfast, lunch, and dinner—all on the taxpayer’s nickel.”

“Day after day, he selfishly sucks on Uncle Sam’s teat,” he said.

In keeping with Mr. Obama’s bloated lifestyle as “Superstar-in-Chief,” the congressman added, “The President travels with an entourage of highly trained bodyguards who would put Jay-Z’s posse to shame.”

Drawing a line in the sand, the Republican warned Mr. Obama to cut back on his lavish living arrangements “or face possible impeachment.” “Across America, people are tightening their belts,” Rep. Ryan said. “The President should not be living like a head of state.”

even in humor their are bits of reality.. but superstar in chief and his wife are so out of touch..that they can't see it.. either that or they don't care.....
 

Steve

Well-known member
while it is mind-numbing finding enough humor to replace OT.. it can be done..

"I feel bad for Barack Obama. He's got the Benghazi scandal, the IRS scandal, and the FBI wiretapping phones. The president is in so much trouble politically, he's thinking about killing bin Laden again." -David Letterman


"White House officials insist that President Obama knew nothing about the IRS scandal until we all heard about it in the news last week. They said because there was an investigation under way, it would have been inappropriate to tell him. And besides, he was too busy not knowing anything about Benghazi." -Jay Leno

"Time magazine found a picture of President Obama at his high school prom back in 1979. Let me tell you how long ago that was. Back then, Obama had to ask a girl for her phone number. He couldn't illegally obtain it through the Justice Department." -Jay Leno

"President Obama is in a lot of hot water lately. Despite the scandals, 53 percent of Americans say they approve of the job he's doing. The other 47 percent are being audited." -Conan O'Brien

"A new report just came out. It says someone close to the president knew about the IRS scandal and kept his mouth shut. In other words, we can rule out Joe Biden." -Conan O'Brien

"According to the Boston Globe, First Lady Michelle Obama and her daughters will stay on Martha's Vineyard for the summer. You can tell President Obama is getting a little defensive. When a reporter asked him about the trip, he said he had no prior knowledge of the vacation, he just learned about it from the media." –Jay Leno

"Casual Friday today in the Obama White House. Which means they're casually going through everyone's phone records." –Jay Leno

It is not looking good for President Obama. Today, his teleprompter took the fifth. In fact, the White House has changed their slogan from, 'Yes, we can' to 'No, I can't remember.'" –Jay Leno

"The latest scandal in Washington, of course, is raising questions about the IRS. You know, I have a question. Why is it called the Internal Revenue Service? How is having your money confiscated a service?" –Jay Leno

"A Democratic congressman said that he worries that the IRS scandal might have a chilling effect on the IRS and that they might be afraid to audit people. So finally some good is coming out of all of this." –Jay Leno

"Vice President Joe Biden met with two undocumented immigrants this week to promote the new immigration bill. When they learned they had to sit down with Biden, they went ahead and deported themselves." –Jimmy Fallon



"Last night at midnight, former Congressman Anthony Weiner officially announced in an online video that he is running for mayor of New York. Nothing says 'I put my sleazy past behind me' like showing a video on the Internet at midnight." -Conan O'Brien

"Weiner said about the city, 'Nobody will work harder to make it better.' As opposed to his first campaign promise, which was 'Nobody will work better to make it harder.'" -Jay Leno

"Anthony Weiner is running for mayor of New York City and he had to change his campaign website yesterday because it accidentally showed a picture of the Pittsburgh skyline instead of Manhattan. Or as Weiner calls it, 'an embarrassing photo I can live with.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Anthony Weiner accidentally used a picture of the Pittsburgh skyline on his website instead of Manhattan. And that's not all, it doesn't stop there. Remember those pictures he tweeted of his penis? It wasn't his. It was Brett Favre's." –Jay Leno

"Meanwhile, in Saudi Arabia the head of the religious police said he believes that Saudi citizens who use Twitter will go to hell. Let me get this straight. Tweeting leads to damnation. But filling a palace with kidnapped beauty contestants – that's OK?" –Jimmy Kimmel

and Just to show that I am still unbiased..
"During a Senate hearing yesterday, Senator John McCain said it was too hard to always have to update apps on his iPhone. No one has the heart to tell him the device he was holding was a garage door opener." -Conan O'Brien

"A lot of people are criticizing President Obama, including Michelle Obama. She recently said she could take a whole afternoon and talk about Barack's failures. She was immediately hired by Fox News." -Conan O'Brien

"Really, Tea Party? Really? You're surprised that you're targeted by the IRS? You named yourself after a group of people who proudly and historically violated tax laws! Look, if I had a vanity license plate that said 'Weed 420,' I might expect to get pulled over now and then." -Amy Poehler

"A seven-year-old boy from Milwaukee, a kid buy the name of Miles Nelson, wrote a letter to the vice president. He has an interesting solution to our problem with gun violence. Miles wrote, 'I think guns should shoot out chocolate bullets.' Believe it or not, the vice president actually wrote Miles back. He wrote, 'I really like your idea. If we had guns that shot chocolate, not only would our country be safer, it would be happier. Happier people love chocolate.' Do you really want a politician to get behind gun with chocolate bullets? The guy you should be writing to is Chris Christie. He will get this done." –Jimmy Kimmel

As you may have heard ,New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie recently had lap band surgery. And some sad news: today the lap band snapped and killed five bystanders." –Jay Leno

"A woman in New Jersey just found her missing dog after she grilled pork in her backyard and he came home because of the smell. Unfortunately, he was immediately shoved out of the way by Governor Chris Christie." –Jimmy Fallon

"According to a new survey, white Americans are more likely to see President Obama as angry than black Americans. After hearing about it, Obama got really angry – according to white Americans." –Conan O'Brien

Just doing my part to help this site get over that guy who used to post all the late night stuff
 

Steve

Well-known member
Larrry said:
Just imagine this
A tornado hits the valley county bars and bama goes to investigate

Do you think that liberal who used to post here could convince Obama that a pasture and a few gopher holes are a golf course.. otherwise.. I doubt doubt Obama would care..

752858_f026_625x1000.jpg

heres' you balls Mr President...
 

iwannabeacowboy

Well-known member
Sending the King in to Oklahoma to inspect the tornado damage is like pouring salt on a wound.

At least this time, he didn't ban all the locals (they were already dispersed by the tornado) and then bring in his own entourage to be "Oklahoman's" for the day and applaud his contradiction on energy policy.
 
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