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O'bama---y'know what?

littlejoe

Well-known member
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Faced with a barrage of new questions about the Affordable Care Act, President Obama cut short a White House press conference today, telling the stunned press corps, “You know what? Everybody can keep their damn insurance.”

Glaring at the reporters, the President continued, “You heard me. If your insurance is crappy, then you just go ahead and keep it—the crappier, the better. Let’s pretend this whole thing never happened.”

A vein in his forehead visibly throbbing, the President added, “You know, I really wish I hadn’t spent the last three years of my life on this thing. I should’ve just gone around invading countries for no reason. That would’ve made everybody happy. Well, live and learn.”

As the reporters averted their eyes from the President, many of them looking awkwardly at their shoes, he concluded his remarks: “All those people out there who want to repeal Obamacare? Well, guess what: I’ll make their day and repeal it myself. Really, it’s my pleasure. But I swear that this is the last time I try to do something nice for anybody.”
 

Soapweed

Well-known member
littlejoe said:
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Faced with a barrage of new questions about the Affordable Care Act, President Obama cut short a White House press conference today, telling the stunned press corps, “You know what? Everybody can keep their damn insurance.”

Glaring at the reporters, the President continued, “You heard me. If your insurance is crappy, then you just go ahead and keep it—the crappier, the better. Let’s pretend this whole thing never happened.”

A vein in his forehead visibly throbbing, the President added, “You know, I really wish I hadn’t spent the last three years of my life on this thing. I should’ve just gone around invading countries for no reason. That would’ve made everybody happy. Well, live and learn.”

As the reporters averted their eyes from the President, many of them looking awkwardly at their shoes, he concluded his remarks: “All those people out there who want to repeal Obamacare? Well, guess what: I’ll make their day and repeal it myself. Really, it’s my pleasure. But I swear that this is the last time I try to do something nice for anybody.”

Here is Alex Pareene's take on Andy Borowitz:

Writing in Salon.com, Alex Pareene criticized Borowitz as "incredibly bland" and a "one-man fake news machine" who produces "with soothing predictability an endless stream of topical jokes and sentences that resemble jokes." Borowitz, Pareene wrote, plays primarily to "self-satisfied liberals" with material that "is designed to elicit a smirk of recognition and agreement from your average polite NPR listener." Pareene concluded, "The best humor involves the element of surprise. Borowitz never surprises. . . . Borowitz is perfect for the comfortable old liberal readership of the New Yorker, so long as no one wants to even slightly challenge or surprise them."

I agree with Alex Pareene.
 

Tam

Well-known member
WELL :? Isn't that basically what Obama said? :wink:

We all know his plan from the get go was to drive everyone out of their insurance plans and into the waiting arms of his beloved government controlled exchanges, that is the only way HIS PLAN would work. He had to crash the insurance companies plans so RESPONSIBLE people that had insurance would be forced to look to him to replace their insurance. His plan was not to get irresponsible younger people to buy insurance and cover the cost of those older sicker people or the fine/taxes :wink: would have been more of a punishment for those not willing to buy their own insurance verses facing said fine/tax. His plan for those was to put them on MEDICAID under complete government control. He had to get the RESPONSIBLE PEOPLE in the middle class to buy in and when the backlash hit him full force with MILLIONS losing their private insurance THEY LIKED and was working for them he had to back off to save the Dems in 2014. He back off the Corporation mandate to save his own butt in 2012 and now he is trying to save all the Dems up for re-election in 2014 and HIS LAST TWO YEARS AS PRESIDENT.

By him backing off his mandate of these forbidden insurance plans that just a week ago were killing people according to all Dems. he delayed the chances of getting those much needed responsible people to buy in to his exchanges which is going to DRIVE PREMIUMS UP ON THOSE THAT DID BUY IN. The results will be killing Obamacare and his promise to lower premiums for everyone. :wink:
 

TexasBred

Well-known member
Tam said:
WELL :? Isn't that basically what Obama said? :wink:

We all know his plan from the get go was to drive everyone out of their insurance plans and into the waiting arms of his beloved government controlled exchanges, that is the only way HIS PLAN would work. He had to crash the insurance companies plans so RESPONSIBLE people that had insurance would be forced to look to him to replace their insurance. His plan was not to get irresponsible younger people to buy insurance and cover the cost of those older sicker people or the fine/taxes :wink: would have been more of a punishment for those not willing to buy their own insurance verses facing said fine/tax. His plan for those was to put them on MEDICAID under complete government control. He had to get the RESPONSIBLE PEOPLE in the middle class to buy in and when the backlash hit him full force with MILLIONS losing their private insurance THEY LIKED and was working for them he had to back off to save the Dems in 2014. He back off the Corporation mandate to save his own butt in 2012 and now he is trying to save all the Dems up for re-election in 2014 and HIS LAST TWO YEARS AS PRESIDENT.

By him backing off his mandate of these forbidden insurance plans that just a week ago were killing people according to all Dems. he delayed the chances of getting those much needed responsible people to buy in to his exchanges which is going to DRIVE PREMIUMS UP ON THOSE THAT DID BUY IN. The results will be killing Obamacare and his promise to lower premiums for everyone. :wink:

Pretty much what he said except left out the part where he grabbed his football and took it home with him.
 
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