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Ole elmo and Rooster were at it again !!!

HAY MAKER

Well-known member
Ole elmo and Rooster were at it again ,tradin cattle around uvalde,if you can call it that,altho I hafta admitt,he wound up with some pretty fancy brangus heifers,Rooster claims they woulda done better if he could have kept elmo sober, if ole elmo was’nt drunk he was lost or both,never let a drunk give you directions sez Rooster.
We’re turned around elmo..........Well the hale with it, elmo said go back ta town I seen a saloon aways back they have a damn phone I will call him and get some directions,I had a feelin he did’nt know what the hale he was talkin about when he was tellin me where the ranch was.
A few cold beers later elmo has the rancher on the phone and talkin cattle,alright elmo said tha sun is gettin low, so I will see you at sun up in tha mornin.

It was gettin late before Rooster could talk elmo outa the saloon,com’on elmo lets find a place ta bunk we got to meet that ole boy with those heifers at sunup,I seen a hotel when we got into town earlier lets see if they have a room,sure nuff they do at a fair price,a large room with twin beds problem was the hotel was two story and a couple right above them had about 6 kids raisin hell all nite ,well as soon as the kids get tired and get to sleep this ole boy decides its time for a lil romance,damned if he did’nt keep ole elmo up till 3 in the morning with the damndest yowlin bed rattlin you ever heard, Rooster said bout 6 the next mornin ole elmo woke him upstandin in the middle of his bed poundin on the ceilin with a chair...wake up!!! wake up!!! you tourist SOB you thank your gonna sleep all day after keepin me up alnite!!
Stop that elmo you are gonna have us thrown in jail Rooster said.........I don’t give a damn, tourists coming round here rattlin beds all nite.keepin a man from his sleep.
,Finally elmo cools off and Rooster said, lets go elmo we got to meet that rancher at sunup so they get started again after checkin out and gettin some coffe to go,ole elmo has to have his coffe and a shot of whiskey to sweeten it a lil

They found the ranch alright and the rancher was waiting bout sunup,they followed him to the pens where there were about 85 fancy brangus heifers,was’nt long till the tradin started,and of course elmo proceeded to tell him they were’nt zactly what he was lookin for. But he would take em for $500 a head,naw I cant sell em that cheap elmo,the rancher sez,markets to good.....wha tha hale ya mean tha markets good where tha hale you hear that bull sheist ?
On the radio this morning the rancher replied,yeah well I bet it was one of them lil ole cheap transistor radios,you cant believe a damn thang they say.
But ole elmo’s a talker and had luck on his side, the rancher and him had a few shots of good whiskey and did a lil tradin ta boot,they made it home about noon in one piece,Rooster helped him unload em then called up here................say you remember me tellin you there were two things I cant stand he sez ? “a drunk when Im sober or a sober when Im drunk”.............write it down!!!.............good luck
 
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