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On the lighter side!

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fedup2

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Recieved this in an e-mail today. The author must have been having a tough time with his/her kids! LOL!

GOD CREATED CHILDREN (AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN)

To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own,
grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students...here is something to make you chuckle. Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.
After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"

"Don't what?" Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.

"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve..we have forbidden
fruit!!!!!"

"No Way!"

"Yes way!"

"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.

"Why"

"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was angry! "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.

"Uh huh," Adam replied.

"Then why did you?" said the Father.

"I don't know," said Eve.

"She started it!" Adam said

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"DID NOT!"

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has
never changed.

BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY! If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you
think it would be a piece of cake for you?

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!
1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and
talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut
up.

2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for
word what you shouldn't have said.

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself
that there are children more awful than your own.

6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.

ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day.

AND FINALLY:

IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:
"TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!
 

PureCountry

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That's hilarious there fedup2!! I'm still wipin my eyes and holdin' my sides 'cause it hits so close to home. My daughter Baylee turned 9 today, 9 going on 20. Makeup, perfume, and already talking about boys. She comes out to the ranch every 2nd weekend - lives in town with her mom - and she's been asking if this one boy can come ridin'. I've been worrying about this day, didn't think it would come so soon!

Then there's OUR 2 boys. Ronan is 2 and Bodi is 6 months. Ronan won't leave the house w/o boots and his 'Larry Mahan' special pulled down around his ears. Can't leave him alone w/his baby brother 'cause he undoes the seat buckles and pulls him out thinkin' he should get up and play 'hosses'. He don't quite understand that the baby can't stand up yet, and don't bounce too good either. Ahh the joys of it all.

Growin' up on a ranch, all I wanted to do was have my own spread covered in Black Baldies, sing back-up in Chris Ledoux's band, and sit horseback all day. But chasin' these kids around all day makes me realize that there's so much more to life than borders, markets, and bottom lines. So, to every farmer and rancher trying to make a living in this crazy ol' world, on both sides of the border or wherever you are, have a good day, and take the time to laugh w/your kids tonight and feel the world go away. :wink:
 

cert

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PureCountry said:
Growin' up on a ranch, all I wanted to do was have my own spread covered in Black Baldies, sing back-up in Chris Ledoux's band, and sit horseback all day. But chasin' these kids around all day makes me realize that there's so much more to life than borders, markets, and bottom lines. So, to every farmer and rancher trying to make a living in this crazy ol' world, on both sides of the border or wherever you are, have a good day, and take the time to laugh w/your kids tonight and feel the world go away. :wink:

Pure country...this is good stuff here!!!
 

fedup2

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First, I have to apologize as I just realized this should have been on the forum for jokes.

Excellent comments PureCountry.

As long as I already screwed up, I will add a little to the lighter side:

OUR NATIONAL PRIDE!

As we all know, the Taliban considers it a sin for a man to see a naked woman who is not his wife. So, this Saturday at 2:00 PM (ET) all American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists. Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort. All men are to position themselves in Yard chairs in front of their house to prove they are not Taliban, demonstrate that they think it's okay to see nude women other than their wife and to show support for all American women. And since the Taliban also does not approve of alcohol, a cold six-pack at your side is further proof of your anti-Taliban sentiment. The American Government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity.

God Bless America!
 

PureCountry

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Can I apply for American Citizenship? When is this happening? God Bless America INDEED!!

-Hope the wife don't read this!


And thanks for the comments folks. Just statin the facts. Guess I've never had trouble putting words to my thoughts; or thoughts into words, whatever.

greg, I live 5 miles SW of Hardisty, as the crow flies. We're on the West side of the river. My family's been around here over a century. I'd say a coon's age but since we don't get coons around here, I don't know how long they live.

Any of you folks 'down south' can tell me how long they actually live? :D
 

greg

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I'm in the Galahad area....go to Hardisty Rodeo every year'wife works with a few nurses from Hardisty
 

greg

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Been seriously consideren joinin the commitee...thats one small town rodeo I do not want to see die,been going to it since I was a kid a hundred years ago!!
 

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