An actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent to his senator:
The Honorable Tom Harkin
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Phone (202) 224 3254
Washington DC, 20510
Dear Senator Harkin,
As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the
Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your
assistance. I have contacted the Department of
Homeland Security in an effort to determine the
process for becoming an illegal alien and they
referred me to you.
My primary reason for wishing to change my status from
U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill
which was recently passed by the Senate and for which
you voted. If my understanding of this bill's
provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has
been in the United States for five years, all I need
to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and
income taxes for three of the last five years. I know
a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get
the process started before everyone figures it out.
Simply put, those of us who have been here legally
have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about
the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return
for paying a $2,000 fine.
Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal
retroactively? This would yield an excellent result
for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in
2004 and 2005. Additionally, as an illegal alien I
could begin using the local emergency room as my
primary health care provider. Once I have stopped
paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant
figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.
Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be
that my daughter would receive preferential treatment
relative to her law school applications, as well as
"in-state" tuition rates for many colleges throughout
the United States for my son.
Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve
me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and
making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This
is very important to me given that I still have
college age children driving my car.
If you would provide me with an outline of the process
to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and
copies of the necessary forms, I would be most
appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.
Your Loyal Constituent,
Donald Ruppert
Burlington, IA
The Honorable Tom Harkin
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Phone (202) 224 3254
Washington DC, 20510
Dear Senator Harkin,
As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the
Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your
assistance. I have contacted the Department of
Homeland Security in an effort to determine the
process for becoming an illegal alien and they
referred me to you.
My primary reason for wishing to change my status from
U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill
which was recently passed by the Senate and for which
you voted. If my understanding of this bill's
provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has
been in the United States for five years, all I need
to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and
income taxes for three of the last five years. I know
a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get
the process started before everyone figures it out.
Simply put, those of us who have been here legally
have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about
the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return
for paying a $2,000 fine.
Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal
retroactively? This would yield an excellent result
for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in
2004 and 2005. Additionally, as an illegal alien I
could begin using the local emergency room as my
primary health care provider. Once I have stopped
paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant
figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.
Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be
that my daughter would receive preferential treatment
relative to her law school applications, as well as
"in-state" tuition rates for many colleges throughout
the United States for my son.
Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve
me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and
making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This
is very important to me given that I still have
college age children driving my car.
If you would provide me with an outline of the process
to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and
copies of the necessary forms, I would be most
appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.
Your Loyal Constituent,
Donald Ruppert
Burlington, IA