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One Word For The "Secret Service"

Mike

Well-known member
Incompetent


Is there any part of the U.S. Government that Buckwheat hasn't screwed up? :???: :???: :???:
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
Andy Borowitz

Definitely the high point of tomorrow's congressional grilling of the Secret Service director will be Republicans trying hard to look like they care about Obama's well-being.

Today 9:44 am
Obama to Move to Doorman Building

By Andy Borowitz


WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—President Barack Obama has decided to move his family into a full-service doorman building in Washington, D.C., saying that “it just makes more sense right now.”

“It really will work better for us,” Obama said in a press conference Tuesday morning. “In addition to the doorman, there’s a guy at the front desk, and, if anyone comes to see you, the desk guy will call up to your apartment first to make sure it’s O.K.”

The senior doorman at the Obamas’ new building, Alex Kornash, seemed unfazed about providing security for the President. “I’ve been a doorman for twenty-three years,” Kornash said. “Someone doesn’t belong here, you tell them to go away. What’s so hard about that?”



The 2,140-square-foot, three-bedroom condominium that the Obamas will call home includes many amenities, including central air-conditioning, a washer/dryer and all new stainless-steel appliances, according to its real-estate listing.

In addition, when the President makes one of his frequent trips, “there’s someone to take in the mail and water the plants,” he said.

Since the President’s announcement of his move, there has already been considerable interest in the White House, mainly from foreign buyers, sources said.
 

Steve

Well-known member
yep... funny how this mirrors the reality of how Obama acts in real life...

BTW how are the girls making out in that poor inner city school?


and at least now M will not feel like she is in jail... :roll:
 

Mike

Well-known member
I guess neither OT nor Borwitz realizes that the SS do a lot more than just guard the president. dumbazzes............. :roll:
 

hypocritexposer

Well-known member
This definitely comes down to leadership, and a willingness to work for that supposed leader.

Competence and willingness to perform duties are projected onto subordinates, by the "boss", IMO
 

loomixguy

Well-known member
Oldtimer said:
Andy Borowitz

Definitely the high point of tomorrow's congressional grilling of the Secret Service director will be Republicans trying hard to look like they care about Obama's well-being.

Today 9:44 am
Obama to Move to Doorman Building

By Andy Borowitz


WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—President Barack Obama has decided to move his family into a full-service doorman building in Washington, D.C., saying that “it just makes more sense right now.”

“It really will work better for us,” Obama said in a press conference Tuesday morning. “In addition to the doorman, there’s a guy at the front desk, and, if anyone comes to see you, the desk guy will call up to your apartment first to make sure it’s O.K.”

The senior doorman at the Obamas’ new building, Alex Kornash, seemed unfazed about providing security for the President. “I’ve been a doorman for twenty-three years,” Kornash said. “Someone doesn’t belong here, you tell them to go away. What’s so hard about that?”



The 2,140-square-foot, three-bedroom condominium that the Obamas will call home includes many amenities, including central air-conditioning, a washer/dryer and all new stainless-steel appliances, according to its real-estate listing.

In addition, when the President makes one of his frequent trips, “there’s someone to take in the mail and water the plants,” he said.

Since the President’s announcement of his move, there has already been considerable interest in the White House, mainly from foreign buyers, sources said.

I'll throw the entirely BS flag here. The Great Pretender would NEVER move into a place that didn't have a full time, live in caddy, available 24/7. Ya know, for caddying and any other needs that require a "man's touch". :wink:
 

loomixguy

Well-known member
President Reagan spoke at Hastings College, I think it was in 1984. The SS must have had eyes in the sky, because they sh!t their pants when they observed 2 people moving slowly down a draw less than half a mile from the campus. Turns out it was two young boys, headed to a fishing hole.....

Clinton spoke in Kearney, I think in late 2000. The SS went berserk when a car was stopped at an intersection and the driver had a shotgun in the front seat. They wanted the driver arrested. When the State Trooper let the driver continue on, heads were about to roll until the SS was informed it was pheasant hunting season and probably 60-80% of all vehicles with a lone male driver probably had weapons in the vehicle.

Then there was the time Hillary was missing in the White House. The SS finally located her in a seldom used bedroom. Hillary was between the sheets with the actress Markie Post.

This was related to me by one of my best friend's oldest brother, who happened to be Reagan's SS head of security, a nice guy who retired from the SS.
 

Whitewing

Well-known member
loomixguy said:
Then there was the time Hillary was missing in the White House. The SS finally located her in a seldom used bedroom. Hillary was between the sheets with the actress Markie Post.

Bill himself said that Hillary had dined at the Y more than he.
 

Mike

Well-known member
Oldtimer said:
I normally wouldn't ask this, but this Secret Service thing has me wondering: is anyone guarding our nuclear weapons?

That contract was awarded to the Boy Scouts a few years ago. They are much more capable than the Secret Service at this time. :roll:
 

hypocritexposer

Well-known member
With the reset button, why would protection of nuclear weapons be needed.

Or did that reset button have something to do with helping Russia out in their endeavors?
 

Brad S

Well-known member
Hey OT, I started a special thread for that Borowitz stupidity. It's never salient it's not funny. It belongs on it's own crappy thread.
 

Traveler

Well-known member
I have to give them kudos for letting the armed felon on the elevator with Obama. They're trying to do right by the country.
 

Soapweed

Well-known member
Brad S said:
Hey OT, I started a special thread for that Borowitz stupidity. It's never salient it's not funny. It belongs on it's own crappy thread.

You can tell a lot about a person by what they think is funny.
 

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