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Paul/Cruz melee!! It's begun!! Where is Sarah??!!

littlejoe

Well-known member
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a preview of what promises to be a heated race for the Republican Presidential nomination in 2016, Sen. Rand Paul (R-Kentucky) head-butted his rival Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) on the floor of the United States Senate this morning.

The melee “came without warning,” one observer said, as Sen. Paul took to the well of the Senate to give a speech recommending a strong but measured response to the crisis in Ukraine.


Almost immediately, a furious and beet-red Sen. Cruz began heckling Sen. Paul, calling him a “Kentucky-fried Communist” and demanding that he “apologize to Ronald Reagan this very instant.”

Sen. Paul seemed to ignore the heckling at first, but as Sen. Cruz’s taunts descended into a stream of profane name-calling, the Kentuckian leapt from the well of the Senate and began throttling Sen. Cruz before administering the decisive head-butt.

“Shut up, you bastard!” Sen. Paul reportedly shouted during the brawl. “Shut up, or I’ll make you shut up!”

A group of horrified senators—including Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.), Sen. Patrick Leahy (D-Vermont), and Sen. Kelly Ayotte (R-N.H.)—pulled the two men apart, aided by a C.I.A. agent who had been monitoring the Senate’s activities at the time.

Within moments, the free-for-all was over, but not before more fists were thrown and a gash was opened over Sen. Cruz’s left eye.

In the aftermath of the skirmish, Sen. Paul seemed pleased with the outcome. “Sen. Cruz and I may not always agree, but we’re both passionate about our views,” he said. “This kind of debate is healthy for the Republican Party.”

Under the rules of the Senate, head-butting another senator results in a mandatory suspension of seven days, experts said.
 

hopalong

Well-known member
yea lil oldtimer... nice to see you get your real news form a real source such as borowitz :roll: :roll: :roll:

No where did I see Sarah mentioned,,, your green eyed monster over her intelligence (much more than yours) pokes out again...
Sarah has accomplished more than you ever will,,, right wrong or indifferent she is more of a man that either you or oldtimer will ever be... :D
 

littlejoe

Well-known member
hopalong said:
yea lil oldtimer... nice to see you get your real news form a real source such as borowitz :roll: :roll: :roll:

No where did I see Sarah mentioned,,, your green eyed monster over her intelligence (much more than yours) pokes out again...
Sarah has accomplished more than you ever will,,, right wrong or indifferent she is more of a man that either you or oldtimer will ever be... :D

ah, groundloop---still loopy as ever and still runnin' the ol' alligator mouth---best watch out, it might git yer lil tadpole ass in truble....

hey how's the mighty 'vfr' only ticket holdin up? don't get lost now----mebbee foller the roads? and do try to have the wheels sorta parrellified with the rnwy, 'eh? later, wanker
 
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