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A

Anonymous

Guest
I think Lee did a great job of expressing the Political Correctness of today...

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2/26/2007 9:06:00 AM


It’s The Pitts: Sad Life Of A Humorist



I had a knee-slapping story to tell you today that would have made you laugh till your sides hurt but I can’t tell it because it might offend some hypersensitive victim.



As a humorist I must say that it’s not very easy being funny these days because most potentially amusing subjects are now out-of-bounds and off-limits because they might hurt someone’s feelings. There used to be entire genres of jokes that friends used to swap: brunettes would tell jokes on blondes, Lutherans would poke fun at Catholics and Italians would make jokes at the expense of Portuguese. And vice versa. Texans told funnies about Californians, North Dakota heard jokes about its weather and New Yorkers ganged up on New Jersey. It was all in good, clean fun. But we don’t tell such jokes much any more because they might make someone feel ill at ease. We think of ourselves as being more sensitive and I think that’s the problem... we’re all just a little too thin-skinned if you ask me, and life sure is a lot less funny as a result.



To be on the safe side a person can’t write about women, wolves, whiskey, gays, Methodists, bankers or fat people any more. Oh I’m sorry, I should have said “gravitationally challenged” instead of fat. If I mention a cowpoke was driving a Ford the Chevy drivers get mad. Praise the Duroc breed and the Yorkshire breeders get their undies all in a bunch. Talk about headers and the heelers get their feelings hurt.



I don’t even know what to call people any more. Is Michael Jordan an African American or a black? Am I white, Caucasian or a honky? Do unwed women like to be called Miss or Ms.? Do people from Mexico prefer to be called Latino or Hispanic? Is the word Mexican acceptable or have I just committed another social injustice?



We don’t have the time or the space to tell interesting stories any more because we are so busy apologizing. I know the Indians were treated poorly in the settling of this country but folks, this may come as a surprise to many of you and I know I’m getting old, but I WASN’T THERE when it happened. I never killed any Indians, although I do try to apologize every time I go to the casino by giving them lots of money.



Mere words cannot begin to express the degree to which I am sorry about the inhumane treatment of workers in China and the disappearance of wild animals in Africa. Sure I feel terrible that people and animals are being treated so horribly but I have never gone on safari and I don’t shop at Wal Mart. There is not a single head of water buffalo hanging in my house nor are there any zebra-skin rugs. I do, however, own a piano with fake ivory keys. I hope that is all right with everyone.



I suppose I should do what Congress did and issue a formal apology for slavery but, for the record, I have never owned a slave. Although, I must admit that my wife is married to one. I am not making light of a terrible scar on this country. Slavery was inexcusable, it’s just that how can I issue a heartfelt apology for something I didn’t do? It would be like a politician’s promise: meaningless.



Not that I’ve been a choir boy. I have written some things that, in retrospect, I see now may have been offensive. I hit the trifecta of insensitivity when I said that many Hollywood PETA members were outscored on IQ tests by single celled organisms. I was totally out of line and I apologize to amoebas everywhere.



I probably should not have said a Washington bureaucrat had the personality of a garden tool and so, once again, I apologize to all the bubbly hoes, shovels and rakes out there. And deep down in my heart I know that I shouldn’t have named a horse Bean Dip just because he suffered from equine irritable bowel syndrome and had more gas than the Goodyear blimp. Oops, there I go again. To the blimp people, lentil lovers everywhere and Bean Dip, both the horse and the delightful but sometimes gaseous snack food, I offer my sincerest apology. Please don’t sue me.
 

Bill

Well-known member
I used to enjoy reading Lee Pitts in the Cattleman's corner of the Grainews newspaper. Enough people complained about him supporting R-Calf and sooner than you could say "Team Bill" he was gone. :clap: :clap:
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
Bill said:
I used to enjoy reading Lee Pitts in the Cattleman's corner of the Grainews newspaper. Enough people complained about him supporting R-Calf and sooner than you could say "Team Bill" he was gone. :clap: :clap:

Doesn't surprise me as some Canadians seem to have selective knowledge-- only want to hear or read what it the way they'd like it to be- or what says what they want to hear..... :wink: :lol:
 

don

Well-known member
ot: Doesn't surprise me as some Canadians seem to have selective knowledge-- only want to hear or read what it the way they'd like it to be- or what says what they want to hear.....

this from a guy who shows a total lack of awareness beyond his own county and relies on fox news to tell him what's happening in the world. what a piece of work!
 

RobertMac

Well-known member
don said:
this from a guy who shows a total lack of awareness beyond his own county and relies on fox news to tell him what's happening in the world. what a piece of work!

This says a lot about you...Fox News is the only news network that tries to present both sides of issues...liberal and conservative. You have been so conditioned by the liberal drive-by media that you actually think their leftist views are centrist! :p :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
 

don

Well-known member
talk about selective knowledge. the problem with fox news is that they offer appealing simple solutions that can't be put in place even if they would work. the world has changed; it's a different game than it was fifty years ago which is what fox seems to want to go back to. the us is not as dominant as it was even ten years ago and will have to change how it deals with the rest of the world. the social situation has changed in the stated; the genie is out of the bottle and you're not going back to 'happy days'. elvis has left the building and he ain't coming back. you can see from the last five years that the old allies don't fall in line like they used to and there will have to be some diplomacy to rebuild relationships the united states will increasingly need if it wants to stay secure. right, left or centre it's best to be pragmatic and find something that will work than to isolate yourself insisting the rest of the world is out of step with you.
 

RobertMac

Well-known member
don said:
talk about selective knowledge. the problem with fox news is that they offer appealing simple solutions that can't be put in place even if they would work. the world has changed; it's a different game than it was fifty years ago which is what fox seems to want to go back to. the us is not as dominant as it was even ten years ago and will have to change how it deals with the rest of the world. the social situation has changed in the stated; the genie is out of the bottle and you're not going back to 'happy days'. elvis has left the building and he ain't coming back. you can see from the last five years that the old allies don't fall in line like they used to and there will have to be some diplomacy to rebuild relationships the united states will increasingly need if it wants to stay secure. right, left or centre it's best to be pragmatic and find something that will work than to isolate yourself insisting the rest of the world is out of step with you.

Don, thanks for proving my point...and so fast and conclusively!!!! 8) :lol: :lol: :lol:

Fox News doesn't make policy...they present BOTH SIDES OF POLICY ISSUES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Obviously you haven't been exposing yourself to the other side. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
 

don

Well-known member
actually robert i read american, canadian, british newspapers over the course of a week and my wife is from germany and reads the daily and weekly news from there so we do get quite a variety of viewpoints. i don't expect you and i would ever agree on a lot of issues but that really doesn't matter. i guess i just don't see how any country can go back to fifty years ago when so much has changed.
 

Bill

Well-known member
RobertMac said:
don said:
talk about selective knowledge. the problem with fox news is that they offer appealing simple solutions that can't be put in place even if they would work. the world has changed; it's a different game than it was fifty years ago which is what fox seems to want to go back to. the us is not as dominant as it was even ten years ago and will have to change how it deals with the rest of the world. the social situation has changed in the stated; the genie is out of the bottle and you're not going back to 'happy days'. elvis has left the building and he ain't coming back. you can see from the last five years that the old allies don't fall in line like they used to and there will have to be some diplomacy to rebuild relationships the united states will increasingly need if it wants to stay secure. right, left or centre it's best to be pragmatic and find something that will work than to isolate yourself insisting the rest of the world is out of step with you.

Don, thanks for proving my point...and so fast and conclusively!!!! 8) :lol: :lol: :lol:

Fox News doesn't make policy...they present BOTH SIDES OF POLICY ISSUES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Obviously you haven't been exposing yourself to the other side. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

So what your saying RMac is that there is only TWO sides to any situation American or American! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Yep thought so. :roll:
 

don

Well-known member
here robert, try this one and see if paradigms aren't shifting.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljbI-363A2Q
 
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