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Phils helpful tips

sw

Well-known member
Phil's Handy Household Tips Volume 2. "You can't make all of the mistakes by yourself, so try some of mine."

Classes For Men At The Learning Center For Adults

Note: Due to the complexity and difficulty level of their contents, class
sizes will be limited to 8 participants maximum.

How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide Presentation
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks! , Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor ---
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and S upport Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places
And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum . Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing .
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and T hursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and
Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the
survivors
 

ranchwife

Well-known member
WOOOOO HOOOOOO!!!
ABOUT TIME!!!
Now....where do I sign cowboyup....for ALL the above mentioned classes!!

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
 

Jassy

Well-known member
Ya know I thought the class on the stove and oven sounds kind of fasinating..lol I've had one of those sittin along the wall for years...I thought it made a great place to put stuff on.. :???: Heck maybe I should look into some of them other classes too! To funny!!!!! :lol:
 

the_jersey_lilly_2000

Well-known member
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Get him to install an icemaker..that ends that problem. :D

The Toilet Paper Roll ---Does it change itself? No it doesn't, and he knows this fact. First rattle outta the box I let him know that if you sit down there and it's empty......your gonna be the one walkin around with your pants around your ankles goin to get a roll. (he passed with flying colors) LOL

Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor --- This was taught to him in the first year of marriage. (Don't let em get away with it for long..you ARE NOT his mother)


After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink? Same thang....you ARE NOT his mother.

Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other. Whoever's watchin first has the remote..house rule.


Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places...Thangamajig, doo dad, whatchamacallit, and hoochymacooter. I will not be the "go fetcher" of these items. If he doesn't know where it's at, and what it's called......he can go look for it himself.


Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health. He's safe on this one, I'm notta flower type person.


Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Or....they listen to their wives when she is reading the map tellin him which road to take. Soooo much simpler LOL :D

Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks? Leave him at home. :D


Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife. This right here, should be the first class. Makes all the other stuff go so much smoother.


How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion - When they graduate this they then go on to doing the shopping by themselves on their way home from work. :D


How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and
Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
His mother taught him this one. Woo hoo I didnt hafta do a thing here.


The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used - Now...to just make him understand that you don't cook everything on HIGH!!!! :mad:


Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
Hmmmm do home taught courses get a diploma???
 
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