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Political Joke of the Day

hypocritexposer

Well-known member
When Obama died, George Washington met him at the Pearly Gates. He slapped him across the face and yelled, "How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive!"


Patrick Henry approached, punched him in the nose and shouted,"You wanted to end our liberties but you failed."


James Madison followed, kicked him in the groin and said, "This is why I allowed our government to provide for the common defense!"


Thomas Jefferson was next, beat Obama with a long cane, and snarled, "It was evil men like you who inspired me to write the Declaration of Independence."


The beatings and thrashings continued as George Mason, James Monroe and 66 other early Americans unleashed their anger on the radical, socialist, leader.



As Obama lay bleeding and in pain, an Angel appeared. Obama wept and said, "This is not what you promised me."


The Angel replied, "I told you there would be 72 VIRGINIANS waiting for you in Heaven. What did you think I said? You really need to listen when someone is trying to tell you something!"
 

Lonecowboy

Well-known member
-----One sunny day in January, 2013 an old man approached
the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue , where he'd been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the U.S. Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President Obama."

The Marine looked at the man and said, "Sir, Mr. Obama is no longer president and no longer resides here."

The old man said, "Okay", and walked away.

The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President Obama."

The Marine again told the man, "Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Obama is no longer president and no longer resides here."

The man thanked him and, again, just walked away.

The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same U.S. Marine, saying "I would like to go in and meet with President Obama."

The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been
here asking to speak to Mr. Obama. I've told you already that Mr. Obama is no longer the president and no longer resides here. Don't you understand?"

The old man looked at the Marine and said, "Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it."

The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said, "See you tomorrow, Sir."
 

hypocritexposer

Well-known member
Bullhauler, how about this, is it recycled?



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Next week entrepreneurs in China will launch a new gentlemen’s club, Obama Club Shanghai. Officials say pResident Barack Obama has no involvement in the club’s operations, but some uncanny similarities to the Obama Regime should give rise to healthy suspicion.

Sources indicate that:

George Soros is a major investor.

Andy Stern is retiring as president of SEIU so he can run the club’s VIP area, The Boardroom. Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein, meanwhile, will be a frequent visitor and donate a million dollars for the club’s grand opening.

obama-look_alike_1.jpg




The Boardroom will feature a putting green. Obama's look alike will give special performances, hitting Titelist balls into the cup while a slide show of the world descending into chaos streams in HD on a 10-foot screen behind him as Nero's Fiddle by Clutch blares from the club's sound system.

Joe Biden has been hired as the club’s first featured entertainer. He’ll dress in drag and sing such classic hits as "This Is a Big F$^kin' Deal" and "He’s an Articulate and Bright and Clean and Nice-looking Guy."


MichelleObamaandtheSocialistHulaHoo.jpg




Dancers will be required to wear sleeveless dresses and boob belts and have hips so large they can catch hula hoops. Oprah, who is retiring from television, will be the first featured dancer.

To enter the club, patrons will need to submit their income tax return. Middle class people will immediately get taxed a mandatory 40 percent tip. Businessmen will have to surrender their salary and bonus and the reigns to their company. Low-rent customers who declare themselves present and demonstrate community organizing experience will get a Nobel Peace prize based on their grossly exaggerated potential.


r1745302319.jpg



Bowing to the doorman exempts anyone from needing to prove their level of income.

The club will serve a nightly list of salt-free special entrees called Obama’s Picks, including dishes like Rahm's Finger Surprise and Michelle's Lead Salad and Barry's Bitter Pill Delight. Servers will dress up like Obama Regime czars. Every Friday will be date night; management will pick up the tab of anyone who orders from the Obama’s Picks menu.

Sundays will feature giveaway night. Patrons will receive free gas, mortgage payments, and healthcare for life.

Anyone who refuses to visit the club will be branded a racist, extremist TEA Party sympathizer, to be rounded up and sent to Gitmo and never heard from again.
 

Big Muddy rancher

Well-known member
hypocritexposer said:
Bullhauler, how about this, is it recycled?



logo1.png



Next week entrepreneurs in China will launch a new gentlemen’s club, Obama Club Shanghai. Officials say pResident Barack Obama has no involvement in the club’s operations, but some uncanny similarities to the Obama Regime should give rise to healthy suspicion.

Sources indicate that:

George Soros is a major investor.

Andy Stern is retiring as president of SEIU so he can run the club’s VIP area, The Boardroom. Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein, meanwhile, will be a frequent visitor and donate a million dollars for the club’s grand opening.

obama-look_alike_1.jpg




The Boardroom will feature a putting green. Obama's look alike will give special performances, hitting Titelist balls into the cup while a slide show of the world descending into chaos streams in HD on a 10-foot screen behind him as Nero's Fiddle by Clutch blares from the club's sound system.

Joe Biden has been hired as the club’s first featured entertainer. He’ll dress in drag and sing such classic hits as "This Is a Big F$^kin' Deal" and "He’s an Articulate and Bright and Clean and Nice-looking Guy."


MichelleObamaandtheSocialistHulaHoo.jpg




Dancers will be required to wear sleeveless dresses and boob belts and have hips so large they can catch hula hoops. Oprah, who is retiring from television, will be the first featured dancer.

To enter the club, patrons will need to submit their income tax return. Middle class people will immediately get taxed a mandatory 40 percent tip. Businessmen will have to surrender their salary and bonus and the reigns to their company. Low-rent customers who declare themselves present and demonstrate community organizing experience will get a Nobel Peace prize based on their grossly exaggerated potential.


r1745302319.jpg



Bowing to the doorman exempts anyone from needing to prove their level of income.

The club will serve a nightly list of salt-free special entrees called Obama’s Picks, including dishes like Rahm's Finger Surprise and Michelle's Lead Salad and Barry's Bitter Pill Delight. Servers will dress up like Obama Regime czars. Every Friday will be date night; management will pick up the tab of anyone who orders from the Obama’s Picks menu.

Sundays will feature giveaway night. Patrons will receive free gas, mortgage payments, and healthcare for life.

Anyone who refuses to visit the club will be branded a racist, extremist TEA Party sympathizer, to be rounded up and sent to Gitmo and never heard from again.



:???: I thought they were closing Gitmo? :???:
 

Steve

Well-known member
with mothers' day coming up Rahm has sought out counciling,..

for Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel "This is a tough holiday for him. He's not used to saying the word 'day' after 'mother.'"

"Chelsea Clinton becomes a reporter and asks a young man on the street what he's most afraid of. He replies, 'Osama, Obama, and yo' Mama.'

If Palin is a Maverick, then Obama is a Pacer
 

Larrry

Well-known member
Bullhauler said:
I don't know what is worse the old recycled jokes or the people that act like they are hearing them for the first time. :D

Don't you find it odd that some can find fault in telling a joke about obama but do not have the moral fortitude to comdemn obama for the cliff he is sending this country towards
 
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