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Question for any wordsmiths

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Soapweed

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In trying to write our annual Christmas letter in poetry form, I have encountered a problem. In describing the mountains in Alaska, the line is, "Looking up at their majesty, our awe was held with enthrall." Is this correct, or should it be, "our awe was held enthrall".

Please hurry with your answers, as time is getting to be a factor. :wink:
Peach Blossom is becoming impatient. :)
 

Mike

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Soapweed said:
In trying to write our annual Christmas letter in poetry form, I have encountered a problem. In describing the mountains in Alaska, the line is, "Looking up at their majesty, our awe was held with enthrall." Is this correct, or should it be, "our awe was held enthrall".

Please hurry with your answers, as time is getting to be a factor. :wink:
Peach Blossom is becoming impatient. :)

"Our awe was held 'Enthralled'
 

the_jersey_lilly_2000

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The way I always figure it out is to find it in the dictionary, and use what words it gives in place of the one I'm trying to use, if it makes sense use it. if not........here's what I"m talkin about

enthrall: To hold spellbound; captive

ok take the word captive and use it in place of enthrall.......


"Looking up at their majesty, our awe was held with captive".....hmmmm dont sound right....
or
"our awe was held captive"

so I'd say the correct one would be

"our awe was held enthrall".
 

Soapweed

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Here is the preceeding line: We drove the car and saw some sights; the mountains were very tall.

I might go with: Looking up at their majesty, we felt insignificant and small.

Or better yet, :wink: Looking up at their majesty, I felt like a gnat on a bathroom wall.
 

Faster horses

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How about changing it to "We were captivated with awe"?

Just a thought. Might be easier to get the other line you are working with to rhyme with 'awe.'


"We drove the car and saw some sights, the mountains were very tall;
Looking at their majesty, we were captivated with awe."

Rhymes in my book....
 

nr

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Working off of Faster Horses' idea how about:
"We drove the car and saw some sights, the mountains towering tall;
Looking at their majesty, we were overcome with awe."

or your "insignificant and small" part.

I'm impressed, Soap, as usual that you'd try doing a Christmas letter
in poetry when it is hard enough just getting the cards out for some of us.
You and Shakespeare.
 

nr

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Question is, why is Soapeweed consulting us when he rides
with the Guru of Poetry (Saddletramp)?
 

the_jersey_lilly_2000

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I wondered that myself. He does so well all the time.

I almost didnt reply at all, ya know how I put words together........haha they come out how they come out, whether they fit together or not......LOL
 

MsSage

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I would add my comment but I am NOT english major LOL
I do hope that the mountians your talking about is neither Augustine or Spurr. Both are ready for eruption.

awe and wall go real well togther. Thinking the gnatt is cute :D
 

Soapweed

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Thanks for all the help. I was in a hurry, so decided to be a redneck and go with the gnat on the bathroom wall because that's about the way I felt up there. Believe me, those mountains are huge, the biggest in the world from where they start to where they end.

I guess I'm perfectionist enough that to me "enthrall" rhymes with "tall", but "enthralled" doesn't. Same with with "awe", it doesn't rhyme with "tall". On the other hand, even though it's not spelled the same "bawl" does rhyme with "tall". Believe it or not, I'm still in a hurry so we'll be seein' "y'all". :wink: Toodle-doo.
 

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