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Quotes of the day

Mike

Well-known member
1.

Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
2.

The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.
3.

Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
4.

War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
5.

Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.
6.

If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?
7.

If you think things can't get worse it's probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.
8.

It's your god. They're your rules. *You* go to hell.
9.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
10.

You can't be late until you show up.
11.

A train station is where the train stops. A bus station is where the bus stops. On my desk, I have a work station...
12.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
13.

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources
14.

Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.
15.

Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way, wisdom is looking both directions anyway
16.

I once prayed to god for a bike, but quickly found out he didnt work that way...so I stole a bike and prayed for his forgiveness
17.

As Long As There Are Tests, There Will Be Prayer In Public Schools.
18.

books have knowledge, knowledge is power, power corrupts, corruption is a crime, and crime doesn't pay..so if you keep reading, you'll go broke
19.

Advice for the day: If you have a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two, and KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN.
20.

A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.
 

HAY MAKER

Well-known member
Quotes of the dayof the day


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1.

Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
2.

The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.
3.

Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
4.

War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
5.

Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.
6.

If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?
7.

If you think things can't get worse it's probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.
8.

It's your god. They're your rules. *You* go to hell.
9.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
10.

You can't be late until you show up.
11.

A train station is where the train stops. A bus station is where the bus stops. On my desk, I have a work station...
12.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
13.

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources
14.

Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.
15.

Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way, wisdom is looking both directions anyway
16.

I once prayed to god for a bike, but quickly found out he didnt work that way...so I stole a bike and prayed for his forgiveness
17.

As Long As There Are Tests, There Will Be Prayer In Public Schools.
18.

books have knowledge, knowledge is power, power corrupts, corruption is a crime, and crime doesn't pay..so if you keep reading, you'll go broke
19.

Advice for the day: If you have a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two, and KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN.
20.

A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.

21. A jury is twelve people decideing who has the best lawyer.

_________________
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
 

Faster horses

Well-known member
Didn't know where to post this, but I thought more would see it here.
It's too good to miss!! (Guess the cuts of the Gators didn't come through. Any advice about how to add them?)
Subject: Two Gaters

REPUBLICANS AND DEMOCRATS ALIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!






Two gators were sitting at the side of the swamp near Washington, DC. The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, "I can't understand how you kin be so much bigger n me. We're the same age, we was the same size as kids. I just don't get it."


Well," said the big gator, "What you been eatin boy?"


"Politicians, same as you," replied the small gator.


"Hmm. Well, where do yall catch em?"


"Down to the side of the swamp near the parkin lot by the Capitol."


"Same here Hmm. How do you catch 'em?"


"Well, I crawls up under one of them Lexus and wait fer one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab 'em on the leg, shake the **** out of 'em, and eat 'em!"


"Ah!" says the big alligator, "I think I see your problem. You ain't gettin' any real nourishment. See, by the time you get done shakin'
the **** out of a Politician, there ain't nothin' left but an asshole and a briefcase."
 

Turkey Track Bar

Well-known member
Faster horses said:
Didn't know where to post this, but I thought more would see it here.
It's too good to miss!! (Guess the cuts of the Gators didn't come through. Any advice about how to add them?)
Subject: Two Gaters

REPUBLICANS AND DEMOCRATS ALIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!






Two gators were sitting at the side of the swamp near Washington, DC. The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, "I can't understand how you kin be so much bigger n me. We're the same age, we was the same size as kids. I just don't get it."


Well," said the big gator, "What you been eatin boy?"


"Politicians, same as you," replied the small gator.


"Hmm. Well, where do yall catch em?"


"Down to the side of the swamp near the parkin lot by the Capitol."


"Same here Hmm. How do you catch 'em?"


"Well, I crawls up under one of them Lexus and wait fer one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab 'em on the leg, shake the s*** out of 'em, and eat 'em!"


"Ah!" says the big alligator, "I think I see your problem. You ain't gettin' any real nourishment. See, by the time you get done shakin'
the s*** out of a Politician, there ain't nothin' left but an asshole and a briefcase."

:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:

Bravo!!!

FH...that was a good 'un...!!!

Cheers---

TTB
 

Northern Rancher

Well-known member
Faster Horses you better get a criiminal check done -using pfofanity where kids might see it lol. Sic her Haymaker-go get her boy-post a poll-sic her. Just kidding FH lol.
 

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