Red neck church

[Big Muddy rancher]

{ The Redneck Church}
>>>
>>>
>>> 1. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
>>> The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of
>>> a
>>> chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.
>>>
>>> 2. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
>>> people ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two
>> fish
>>> were bass
>>> or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.
>>>
>>> 3. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
>>> when the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the
>>> offering," five
>>> guys and two women stand up.
>>>
>>> 4. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
>>> opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church
>>> holiday.
>>>
>>> 5. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if...
>>> a member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive
>>> truck
>>> because "It ain't
>>> never been in a hole it couldn't get out of" (Love it!)
>>>
>>> 6. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ..
>>> the choir is known as the "OK Chorale".
>>>
>>> 7. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ..
>>> in a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names
>>> in
>> the
>>> church
>>> directory.
>>>
>>> 8. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ..
>>> people think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too
>> heavy.
>>>
>>> 9. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ..
>>> the baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized "Wheeling" washtub.
>>>
>>> 10. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
>>> The choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo
>>> from)
>>> Billy Bob's
>>> Barbecue.
>>>
>>> 11. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
>>> The collection plates are really hubcaps from a '56 Chevy.
>>>
>>> 12. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
>>> Instead of a bell you are called to service by a duck call.
>>>
>>> 13. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
>>> The minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.
>>>
>>> 14. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
>>> The communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink".
>>>
>>> 15. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if...
>>> "Thou shall not covet" applies to huntin' dogs, too.
>>>
>>> 16. You know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
>>> The final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now, Ya
>>> hear".
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>
>>
>
>

 

[Soapweed]

Good ones, BMR. Are there rednecks in Canada, too, or is that just an American thang? :wink:

 

[passin thru]

Heck, I thought all rednecks originally came from Canada :lol:

 

[Jinglebob]

I thot they was called rednecks 'cause of "Red Green"! :shock:

 

[MsSage]

You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ..
>>> the baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized "Wheeling" washtub.

Hey now I resemble that remark.................

The man in the green shirt is the pastor of my church...LOL
and YES it is on a flatbed trailer.

 

[Jinglebob]

You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ..
>>> the baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized "Wheeling" washtub.

Hey now I resemble that remark.................

The man in the green shirt is the pastor of my church...LOL
and YES it is on a flatbed trailer.

Do all of your youngun's fight that hard, when you make them take a bath? :???:

 

[MsSage]

LOL yeap they sure do. What I didnt show was the one with about 5 guys standing around, there was Jeff Smith and anther guy helping him "dunk" a young lady loooked like she gave them a good fight LOL

 

[Big Muddy rancher]

Jinglebob if thats how the Catholic Lite do it how do full flegded Catholics do it?

 

[Jinglebob]

Jinglebob if thats how the Catholic Lite do it how do full flegded Catholics do it?

We ketch 'em when they is small and can't put up as much of a fight. And we just sprinkle 'em anyway. A little water can go a long ways, if it's used right! :wink:

 

[katrina]

You guys are a hoot!!! Love it.........

 

[Big Muddy rancher]

Jinglebob if thats how the Catholic Lite do it how do full flegded Catholics do it?

We ketch 'em when they is small and can't put up as much of a fight. And we just sprinkle 'em anyway. A little water can go a long ways, if it's used right! :wink:

I can understand the SPRINKLE part water is scarce in South Dakota at times.
Besides a dunking like that is to much like a bath. If you took one on Saturday night you sure don't need one on Sunday. :wink: :cowboy:

 

[Jinglebob]

Jinglebob if thats how the Catholic Lite do it how do full flegded Catholics do it?

We ketch 'em when they is small and can't put up as much of a fight. And we just sprinkle 'em anyway. A little water can go a long ways, if it's used right! :wink:

I can understand the SPRINKLE part water is scarce in South Dakota at times.
Besides a dunking like that is to much like a bath. If you took one on Saturday night you sure don't need one on Sunday. :wink: :cowboy:

Thats why my Dad hated hospitals. He claimed they wanted you to take a bath, EVERY DAY! No wonder people die in hospitals! :wink: