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Sauna Joke

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Cal

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ONE GERMAN, ONE JAPANESE AND A HILLBILLY, WERE SITTING NAKED IN A SAUNA. SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BEEPING SOUND. THE GERMAN PRESSED HIS FOREARM AND THE BEEP STOPPED. THE OTHERS LOOKED AT HIM STUNNINGLY."THAT WAS MY PAGER,", HE SAID, " I HAVE A MICROCHIPUNDER THE SKIN OF MY ARM".

A FEW MINUTES LATER A PHONE RANG. THE JAPANESE FELLOW LIFTED HIS PALM TO HIS EAR. WHEN HE FINISHED HE EXPLAINED, "THAT WAS MY MOBILE PHONE. I HAVE A MICROCHIP IN MY HAND".

THE HILLBILLY FELT DECIDEDLY LOW TECH. NOT TO BE OUTDONE, HE DECIDED HE HAD TO DO SOMETHING JUST AS IMPRESSIVE. HE STEPPED OUT OF THE SAUNA AND WENT TO THE BATHROOM. HE RETURNED WITH A PIECE OF TOILET PAPER HANGING FROM HIS BEHIND.
THE OTHERS RAISED THEIR EYEBROWS AND STARED AT HIM.
THE HILLBILLY FINALLY SAID... "WELL, WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT, I'M
GETTING A FAX!"
 

katrina

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Cal, You surprised me :!: That's a hoot!!! Didn't think you told that kind of jokes. :D Talk radio huh???? Maybe Howard Stern and you just told on your self...LOL
 

Cal

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katrina said:
Cal, You surprised me :!: That's a hoot!!! Didn't think you told that kind of jokes. :D Talk radio huh???? Maybe Howard Stern and you just told on your self...LOL

katrina, are you insinuating that talk radio is boring?! LOL Do you know what Rush calls a sex change operation? (Hint: Word play on appendectomy)
 

ranchwife

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Cal said:
katrina said:
Cal, You surprised me :!: That's a hoot!!! Didn't think you told that kind of jokes. :D Talk radio huh???? Maybe Howard Stern and you just told on your self...LOL

katrina, are you insinuating that talk radio is boring?! LOL Do you know what Rush calls a sex change operation? (Hint: Word play on appendectomy)

my eyes are barely open this morning, but you two got me laughing :lol: thanks for the early morning "pick me up" :wink:
 

katrina

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Cal, I'll have to admit I listen to Bill ORielley, on WNEX. And some guy on saturday mornings that answers questions about enigines and cars... Now back to the most important thing, sex change..... apendectomy???? word pay.....dickectomy??? I'm blonde.... My hubby is home today I'll ask if he knows......

PS. Your joke is a hit to everyone I've told... :lol:
 

Cal

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katrina said:
Cal, I'll have to admit I listen to Bill ORielley, on WNEX. And some guy on saturday mornings that answers questions about enigines and cars... Now back to the most important thing, sex change..... apendectomy???? word pay.....dickectomy??? I'm blonde.... My hubby is home today I'll ask if he knows......

PS. Your joke is a hit to everyone I've told... :lol:

Hope I don't offend anyone, he pronounces it "adadictomee" for females wanting to become male.
 

Hanta Yo

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Got another one for ya, just got it e-mail today. Here goes:

Subject: Second Opinion]
> >>
> >>
> >> Joe had a constant headache since adulthood and finally went to a
> >> neurosurgeon after years of suffering.
> >>
> >> The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches.
> >>
> >> The bad news is that it will require castration.
> >>
> >> You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press
> >> on your spine, and the pressure creates one heck of a headache.
> >>
> >> The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."
> >>
> >> Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to
> >> live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife.
> >>
> >> When he left the hospital he was without a headache for the first
> >> time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part
> >>of himself.
> >>
> >> As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a
> >>different person.
> >>
> >> He could make a new beginning and live a new life.
> >>
> >> He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need a
> >> new suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a
>new
> >>suit."
> >>
> >> The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... size 44
> >>long."
> >>
> >> Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"
> >>
> >> "Been in the business 60 years!" the tailor said. Joe tried on the
> >> suit. It fit perfectly.
> >>
> >> As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How
> >> about a new shirt?"
> >>
> >> Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure."
> >>
> >> The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeve and 16-1/2
> >> neck."
> >>
> >> Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?"
> >>
> >> "Been in the business 60 years!" Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit
> >> perfectly.
> >>
> >> Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How
> >> about some new underwear?"
> >>
> >> Joe thought for a second and said, "Sure."
> >>
> >> The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's
> >> see...size 36."
> >>
> >> Joe laughed!
> >>
> >> "Ah ha! I got you! I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old."
> >>
> >> The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A 34
> >> underwear would press your testicles up against the base of your
> >> spine and give you one heck of a headache."
> >>
> >> ALWAYS get a second opinion. :wink: :roll:
> >>
> >>
 

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