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Ranchers.net

I'm a fan of local or regional sayings. I'm not sure if metaphore or simile is the right word for it(perhaps a cunning linguist, such as reader(the second) could enlighten a 'tard like me on it)....
Here is what I mean....

Nervous... As a long tailed cat in a room full of rockin' chairs.
Busy....... As a set of jumper cables at a (insert your favorite racial slur here) funeral.
Ugly...... She looked like someone had taken a logging chain and sewed a dog's a$$ shut with it.
Smooth..... As a Nun's tit.
Slippery... As 2 slugs f'ing in a pail of snot.

I'm sorry if some find these sayings offensive but I'd be interested to hear some more..... I get a kick out of them. :D
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