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Bob M

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I had a checkup for osteoporosis yesterday in one of those traveling trailers. The assistant nurse told me I had too many metallic buttons on my shirt and too many rivets, zippers, suspender clips and belt buckles on my breeches, that before lying down on the couch that I needed to lift up my shirt and lower my breeches. I told the nurse "you are going to have to look the other way if I lower my breeches". She said, "don't you wear underwear"? I said "yes, but I normally don't plan to display my shorts".

This led up to a story about me and my three daughter quite some time ago. I never paid too much attention to my attire until they reached the approximate age of two and a half. From then on no girls allowed if I was changing my breeches. We were getting ready to go someplace. The girls didn't realize I was in the bedroom. Nancy, eight years younger than the youngest of the other two was in the lead coming up the short flight of stairs to my split level bedroom. She had almost reached that critical age. When she saw me between changes she warned her sisters "You girls go back. I've seen him in his shorts before"!

After I got safely under the sheet on the cot I gave the nurse permission to turn back around and told her the story.

BobM
 

ranchwife

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toooo funnnny!!!! As a nurse, though myself, i can image that this nurse has probably about seen it all!!! :wink:
 

nr

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ranchwife said:
toooo funnnny!!!! As a nurse, though myself, i can image that this nurse has probably about seen it all!!! :wink:

Exactly, Ranchwife. The number of times I used to tell people I'd seen ALL those "parts" hundreds of times before to try to ease their embarrassment and it never helped one bit- I still remember one patient said defensively, "Yeah, but you haven't seen MINE before."

Bob M you must get a lot more daily exercise than the rest of us carting all those heavy metal pieces around. Why have men always liked their chain mail?
 

Northern Rancher

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When I was 20 I had to get an insurance medical-the old doc says you are a bit jumpy-I told him I'll get ahold of yours and see how relaxed you are-we won't even get into the real reason men dread turning 40 lol.
 

Bob M

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I have another story about Nancy's quick thinking and sharp wit. She was six or seven. We were in the car making the rounds checking a windmill or two. She sat on my lap and did the driving. I had been wanting to get the pickup home from the north meadow. We left a gate open into the meadow and I figured as sharp as Nancy was she cculd drive the car home. She couldn't reach the peddles but I showed her how to turn the key off when she wanted to stop. I headed her in the righit direction and got in my pickup and hollered back "follow me"! I drove through the open gate and turned far to the right expecting the car to drive along side with Nancy turning off the key while I shut the gate. I was getting out of the pickup and kerwham! She didn't come along side but plowed into the back of the pickup doing considerable damage to the front end of the car and the back of the pickup. I was about ready to tell her what I thought of her. She had a tear in her eye and a worried look on her face and came up with "Daddy, we aren't going to say anything about this to anybody are we"! It got her off the hook!

Bob M
 

Shelly

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Northern Rancher said:
When I was 20 I had to get an insurance medical-the old doc says you are a bit jumpy-I told him I'll get ahold of yours and see how relaxed you are-we won't even get into the real reason men dread turning 40 lol.

Geez, are we on the same wave-length this morning? Somehow, our morning trip to the coffee shop (me, hubby, and best friend) got around to this very same topic in an unusually funny way! By the way, they're 40 and older.
 

Northern Rancher

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I'm sure with the right lamp and a couple strategically placed mirrors a man could do a prostrate self examination lol.
 

Bob M

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I guess I should have put a different title on this original subject. I mentioned the episode in the osteoporosis trailer mainly to lead to the subject of my fast thinking sharp witted daughter, hoping there would be response on kid stories instead of so many biological confessions.

I'll try again. We were in Minnesota for my wife's mother's 90th birthday. It was in October with the pheasant season in full swing. The only accomodation we could find was one motel room for the five of us, my wife and I and three daughters. We were much in each other's way trying to get ready for the occasion, sleeping bags on the floor, only one sink etc. It happened to be our 39th weddinig anniversary. I was trying to make conversation to reduce tension. I said to my wife, "Next year is our big #40. How are we going to celebrate? She said let's go to Hawaii! Nancy came up with "I get my own room"!
 

nr

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Bob M said:
I guess I should have put a different title on this original subject. I mentioned the episode in the osteoporosis trailer mainly to lead to the subject of my fast thinking sharp witted daughter, hoping there would be response on kid stories instead of so many biological confessions.

!

Bob M, you must have been away from Ranchersnet waaayyyy too long. This group FAVORS and Savors biological confessions :lol:
 

Northern Rancher

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My Dad had quite a sense of humour and when he was battling cancer he had to get a catheter put in-he told the nurse' For God's sake just once GASP instead of snickering.' Amazing how a good laugh helps even those bad days.
 

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