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"Smart-Ass"

OldDog/NewTricks

Well-known member
Well, here they are:
THE 6 BEST
"SMART-ASS" ANSWERS OF 2006...
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SMART-ASS ANSWER #6:

It was mealtime during a flight on United Airline.
"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John.
"What are my choices?" John asked.

"Yes or no," she replied."
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SMART-ASS ANSWER #5:

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, at which point he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."
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SMART-ASS ANSWER #4:

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
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SMART-ASS ANSWER #3:

A cop gets out of his car and the kid who he has stopped for speeding, rolls down his window.
"I've been waiting for you all day" the cop said.
The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."

When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
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SMART-ASS ANSWER #2:

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead"...and before he know it, the bridge
is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge.
Cars are backed up for miles...
Finally a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks over to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."
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SMART-ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006:

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam...
"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal
injury, illness or death in your immediate family, but that is it!
No other excuses, whatsoever." A smart-ass guy, in the back of the room, raises his hand and asks, "What would you say if, tomorrow, I said that I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.
When the silence is restored, the teacher smiles, knowingly, at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says,
"Well, I guess you would have to write the exam with your other hand." D)
 
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