• If you are having problems logging in please use the Contact Us in the lower right hand corner of the forum page for assistance.

Smart Bartender

Help Support Ranchers.net:

C

CKC1586

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 10, 2005
Messages
162
Reaction score
0
Location
Michigan
SMART BARTENDER
>> A man enters a bar and orders a drink. The bar has
>> a robot bartender.
>>
>> The robot serves him a perfectly prepared
>> cocktail, and then asks him,
>> "What's your IQ?"
>>
>> The man replies "150" and the robot proceeds to
>> make conversation about global warming factors, Quantum
>> physics and spirituality, biomimicry, environmental
>> interconnectedness, string theory,nanotechnology, and sexual
>> proclivities.
>> The customer is very impressed and thinks, "This
>> is really cool." He decides to test the robot. He walks out of the
>> bar,
>> turns around, and comes back in for another drink.
>> Again, the robot serves
>> him the perfectly prepared drink and asks him,
>> "What's your IQ?"
>>
>> The man responds, "about a 100."
>>
>> Immediately the robot starts talking, but this
>> time about football, NASCAR, baseball, supermodels, favorite fast
>> foods and
>> guns.
>>
>> Really impressed, the man leaves the bar and
>> decides to give the robot one more test. He heads out and returns,
>> the robot
>> serves him and asks, "What's your IQ?"
>>
>> The man replies, "Er, 50, I think."
>>
>> And the robot says... real slowly...
>> "Sooooooooo..... ya gonna vote for Bush again?"
 
:clap: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :clap: :clap: :clap:
 
Someone shoulda told the robot, you can't vote for Bush a third time.

I heard this on Clinton years ago, too bad liberals can't come up with an idea on their own. :lol: :lol:
 
Three Arkansas surgeons were playing golf together and discussing
surgeries they had performed.

One of them said, "I'm the best surgeon in Arkansas. A concert
pianist lost 7 fingers in an accident, I re-attached them, and 8 months
later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England."

One of the others said. "That's nothing. A young man lost an arm and
both legs in an accident, I re-attached them and 2 years later he won
a gold medal in field events in the Olympics."

The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a
woman was high on cocaine and marijuana. She rode a horse head-on
into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was
the horse's blond mane and a big ass. Now she's the Senator from
New York."
 
image0011_1.jpg

:lol: :lol:

Wir sehen, wenn sie es, sowie nehmen können sie können es heraus anrichten
 
We see, if it is, as well as to take they can be able to do it to arrange out


I am sure that is NOT what you wanted to say..........LOL
Grandfather was from Germany
 
Boy I guess I am rusty.

"We'll see, if they can take it, as well as they are able to do it to dish it out"
is what I was trying to say.

The funny thing is I thought the joke was funny, even if it was a replay of an old one. But I can remember when most resident liberals flew off the handle when I posted this pic. They needed to get a sense of humor(just a friendly reminder)
 
Wir sehen, wenn sie es nehmen können, sowieSIND sie in der Lage, es zu tun, um es heraus anzurichten

You were very close :wink:
Joke was VERY funny ...
 
OK I do have to take offence.... :wink:
Trust me my IQ is higher than 100..I LOVE NASCAR ~guns~ Fast food
hmmm reader KNOWS single men who want mature Smart women??? dang woman ya holding out on us LOL sorry couldnt help it :wink:
 
Yep..those angry middle aged men who comb their hair from the left side of their head allllllll the way over the right ear....they are a bummer!!!
 
Smart women w/ opinions and a brain that works usually scares the bee-jeebers outta them. Seems if you know more words than " Yes, dear"..... or " You're right, dear"...it's a bit of a threat.


At least that's been my experience.
 
middle aged men who comb their hair from the left side of their head allllllll the way over the right ear
Click to expand...

I am not Attacking you personnally but.......

ain't it interesting if a guy pokes fun at a woman it's not funny,,,,,yet in the same conversation belittleing men,,,,someone mocks balding men and comb-overs.....?

But enough of the serious stuff......

Cows & Politics Explained

A CHRISTIAN: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.

A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.

AN AMERICAN REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?

AN AMERICAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.

A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.

A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.

DEMOCRACY, LIBERAL STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. They are mad. They die. Pass the shepherd's pie, please.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship both of them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported on them.

AN ISRAELI CORPORATION: There are these two Jewish cows, right? They open a milk factory, an ice cream store, and then sell the movie rights. They send their calves to Harvard to become doctors. So, who needs people?

AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION: You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
 
Those comb overs are a little funny. You know what is as bad, insecure men that have to shave their head to hide their baldness. Oh and and earing to try and make them look young. :lol:
 
reader (the Second) said:
Yep, I took it as anti-female or at least anti-older or homely women.

Thanks Passin Thru for the humorous remark that defused it this time around.

Ms Sage - goes to show that the saying about the eye of the beholder is so true. I saw this as i said as poking fun at the expense of women who are older, heavier, or homely. That's the way i saw it and I still see it that way but i was convinced that is not how it was meant by the debate last time.

And it's not cuz I'm a liberal that I saw it that way, it's cuz I'm an overweight older woman :D :D who men are passing up for women half their age. :wink: with IQs of 40 but good bodies. (I'm only partially teasing.) That would be an interesting debate and not as personal or difficult as some here, why men like women who are young enough to be their daughters and have only S-E-X in common with them... Again, I'm exaggerating for effect, lots of men like smart, "mature" women in my experience.
Click to expand...



So Readed are you older then Bo Derek and Laura Bush?
 
reader (the Second) said:
Big Muddy rancher said:
reader (the Second) said:
Yep, I took it as anti-female or at least anti-older or homely women.

Thanks Passin Thru for the humorous remark that defused it this time around.

Ms Sage - goes to show that the saying about the eye of the beholder is so true. I saw this as i said as poking fun at the expense of women who are older, heavier, or homely. That's the way i saw it and I still see it that way but i was convinced that is not how it was meant by the debate last time.

And it's not cuz I'm a liberal that I saw it that way, it's cuz I'm an overweight older woman :D :D who men are passing up for women half their age. :wink: with IQs of 40 but good bodies. (I'm only partially teasing.) That would be an interesting debate and not as personal or difficult as some here, why men like women who are young enough to be their daughters and have only S-E-X in common with them... Again, I'm exaggerating for effect, lots of men like smart, "mature" women in my experience.
Click to expand...



So Readed are you older then Bo Derek and Laura Bush?
Click to expand...

Bo Derek was born in 1956 so I'm older than her.
Laura Bush was born in 1946 so I'm younger than her. But then she doesn't really belong in this group of women :roll:
Click to expand...


reader are you telling me that Laura Bush is NOT republician? :shock:
 

Latest posts

Top