• If you are having problems logging in please use the Contact Us in the lower right hand corner of the forum page for assistance.

Something for Grins :-)

Hanta Yo

Well-known member
I think this was posted somewhere here before, and I may have posted it. I have this on the fridge and I read it once in awhile when I need a grin. I don't really know if it's true but it sure is funny.

CHILDREN

For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!
For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.

Things I have learned from my children (honest & no kidding):

1) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 square foot house four inches deep.

2) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with Roller blades, they can ignite.

3) A three-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is stong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20X20 ft. room.

5) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6) The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late. (I can sure relate to this one!)

8) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9) A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock, even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10) Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four-year old.

11) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12) Super glue is forever.

13) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swiming pool you still can't walk on water.

14) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15) VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18) You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

19) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20) The fire department in La Mesa, CA has a five-minute response time.

21) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24) The mind of a six-year-old is wonderful. First grade-true story: One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home. She read, "...And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'" The teacher paused, then asked the class, "...And what do you think that man said?" One little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he said 'Holy Crap! A talking pig!" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

25) 80 percent of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
Put the brake fluid away and the clorox back in the laundry room.
 

C-E

Well-known member
Oh my god the three little pig story almost made me spit snuff all over the computer!!! Thanks for posting will prepare me for when the little one gets alittle older.
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

Chlorine mixed with glycerine (Fonz type old greasy haircream) inside a folded over envelope was a smoke/fire starter that the civil rights/war protesters used back in the 70's....Unfold the envelope-and mix the contents--wad up and stuff down in a bunch of paper products or the Wheaties boxes or throw in the garbage can and they could be out of the store and driving down the block before the fire starts...
 

jigs

Well-known member
one cup of clorox in a 2 liter pop bottle, thre little balls of tin foil, screw on the cap and throw.....



big boom! cops were scared to death on halloween.... we told them what was making the booms. so they tried it....with a glass jar!

moral to the story. cops are not too bright!
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
Charcoal briquets are another thing you can do things with-- the reason you want to be careful about where you store them-- they have a habit of spontaneous chemical ignition if left in a garage, shop or basement around brake fluid (glycerine) and other types of oil products that they can get soaked in....Best to store somewhere where you don't care if it starts on fire- like outside....

I had a fire inspector from Oklahoma tell me that in the warmer climates its quite common to have the washing machine/dryers in the attached garages-- and he couldn't count the number of times he's went into one of those garages and found Clorox and brake fluid sitting side by side on a shelf- and an open sack of charcoal briquets stuffed under the shelf :roll: :wink: :lol:
 

ranchwife

Well-known member
Jigs---why am I NOT surprised!!?? :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Hanta--thanks for posting this....really needed the laugh for the day!!! You always manage to brighten things up!!! :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink:

One thing forgotten though....always expect the worst when you are sitting at your kitchen table, drinking a cold glass of sweet tea, chatting with your neighbor and she looks somewhere over your shoulder (and out your kitchen window) and says "UHHHHH, Kris....." and her eyes grow the size of saucers!!!!

:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
 

MsSage

Well-known member
23) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
Found out 12 days ago this is TRUE......OMGAWD
Spin the kitty is NOT a game to be playing but what can I say I was still at work and shoer was here ALONE with my kittens.........
 

the_jersey_lilly_2000

Well-known member
Here while back when this was posted the first go around, I read it outloud........Mr Lilly and our son immediately had to try the bleach and brake fluid thing.........it didnt do anything.....they were so disappointed LOL
 

kolanuraven

Well-known member
the_jersey_lilly_2000 said:
Here while back when this was posted the first go around, I read it outloud........Mr Lilly and our son immediately had to try the bleach and brake fluid thing.........it didnt do anything.....they were so disappointed LOL


Oh...man...I had plans to try these out tomorrow.

Well...mark that one off the list!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
 
Top