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Sounds like somethin Judith would do

the_jersey_lilly_2000

Well-known member
Don't Fart in Bed!

This is a story about a couple who'd been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every mornin when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes wter and make her gasp for air. Every mornin she would plead with him to stop rippin em off because it was makin her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip em out. Then one Thanksgivin mornin as she was preparin the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she'd put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, Liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her!!!!
She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pullin back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Sometime later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpetin which was followed by a blood curdlin scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughin, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back perdy good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.
He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you"
"What do you mean?" asked his wife.
"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up fartin my guts out, and today it finally happened."


"But....by the grace of God, some Vaseline and two fingers, I think I got most of them back in."
 
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