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Stimulus Package Explained (Q&A)

Big Muddy rancher

Well-known member
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By Barry Ritholtz - February 13th, 2009, 4:00PM

Sometime this year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format:

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. No, they are borrowing it from China. Your children are expected to repay the Chinese.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn’t that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.
If you spend it on gasoline it will go to Hugo Chavez, the Arabs and Al Queda
If you purchase a computer it will go to Taiwan.
If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala (unless you buy organic).
If you buy a car it will go to Japan and Korea.
If you purchase prescription drugs it will go to India
If you purchase heroin it will go to the Taliban in Afghanistan
If you give it to a charitable cause, it will go to Nigeria.

And none of it will help the American economy. We need to keep that money here in America. You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer (domestic only), or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US.
 

jigs

Well-known member
well, Big Muddy....when those checks arrive, I expect you to meet me at Kaufman Stadium in KC for a ballgame, we can sip some local brew called Boulevard, get a tattoo, a couple hookers, and get this nation back on it's feet.

be sure to wear that damned fine hat of yours!!
 

Big Muddy rancher

Well-known member
jigs said:
well, Big Muddy....when those checks arrive, I expect you to meet me at Kaufman Stadium in KC for a ballgame, we can sip some local brew called Boulevard, get a tattoo, a couple hookers, and get this nation back on it's feet.

be sure to wear that damned fine hat of yours!!


Sounds like fun. Will have to make when the Huskers come to play that way we can get Sandypants a Wildcat tattoo. :wink: :D
 

Sandhusker

Well-known member
Big Muddy rancher said:
jigs said:
well, Big Muddy....when those checks arrive, I expect you to meet me at Kaufman Stadium in KC for a ballgame, we can sip some local brew called Boulevard, get a tattoo, a couple hookers, and get this nation back on it's feet.

be sure to wear that damned fine hat of yours!!


Sounds like fun. Will have to make when the Huskers come to play that way we can get Sandypants a Wildcat tattoo. :wink: :D

I'm all over that Boulevard Wheat, but my quest will be to get a red N tattooed on Jig's chest.
 

Tam

Well-known member
Big Muddy rancher said:
jigs said:
well, Big Muddy....when those checks arrive, I expect you to meet me at Kaufman Stadium in KC for a ballgame, we can sip some local brew called Boulevard, get a tattoo, a couple hookers, and get this nation back on it's feet.

be sure to wear that damned fine hat of yours!!


Sounds like fun. Will have to make when the Huskers come to play that way we can get Sandypants a Wildcat tattoo. :wink: :D


:wave: :shock: :? :roll: :twisted:
 

jigs

Well-known member
Sandhusker said:
Big Muddy rancher said:
jigs said:
well, Big Muddy....when those checks arrive, I expect you to meet me at Kaufman Stadium in KC for a ballgame, we can sip some local brew called Boulevard, get a tattoo, a couple hookers, and get this nation back on it's feet.

be sure to wear that damned fine hat of yours!!


Sounds like fun. Will have to make when the Huskers come to play that way we can get Sandypants a Wildcat tattoo. :wink: :D

I'm all over that Boulevard Wheat, but my quest will be to get a red N tattooed on Jig's chest.
over my dead body!!


looks like Tam wants to tag along.....
 

Tam

Well-known member
jigs said:
Sandhusker said:
Big Muddy rancher said:
Sounds like fun. Will have to make when the Huskers come to play that way we can get Sandypants a Wildcat tattoo. :wink: :D

I'm all over that Boulevard Wheat, but my quest will be to get a red N tattooed on Jig's chest.
over my dead body!!


looks like Tam wants to tag along.....

HA HA funny Jigs, :wink:
 
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