got this in an email from someone...
Here is what you do.
The phone rang as I was setting down to my anticipated evening meal, and as
I answered it I was greeted with " is this William Wagenhoss" not sounding
anything like my name, so I said who is calling? The telemarketer said he
was with The Rubber band Powered Freezer Company or something like that and
then I asked him if he knew William personally and why was he calling this
number. I then said off to the side, "get really good pictures of the body
and all the blood" then turned back to the phone and advised the caller that
he had entered a murder scene and must stay on the line because we had
already traced this call and he would be receiving a summons to appear in
the local courthouse to testify in this murder case.
I then questioned the caller at great length as to his name, address, phone
number at home, at work, who he worked for, how he knew the dead guy and
could he prove where he had been about one hour before he made this call.
The telemarketer was getting very concerned and his answers were given in a
shaky voice. I then told him we had located his position at his work place
and the police were entering the building to take him into custody, at that
point I heard the phone fall and the scurrying of his running away. My wife
asked me as I returned to our table why I had tears streaming down my face
and so help me, I couldn't tell her for about fifteen minutes.
It all depends on my mood, sometimes I feel like having a little fun with them, others I don't. If I don't I just say "Not interested" and hang up before they ask me "why". Or If I am I act like I'm interested while they waste their time talking about the product, let them ramble for a while, then say "Actually, it sounds like a piece of junk...." and hang up.
we have done a joke once were a telemarketer would cal and ask for terry (my dad) and we would be like well he just passed away keep in mind dad is right by me and they start saying I’m so sorry about your loss and stuff like that it is pretty funny
A buddy of mine got a call from one that was selling siding. He was really interested, I mean REALLY. After about 10 to 15 minutes into the conversation he had to stop the guy, and ask him just how much it would take to cover a 8x10 tent. The guy had the nerve to hang up on him.
Ask for their home phone number so you can call them back right in the middle of their dinner.
I have told a few of them that I was the new renter in the house and the guy they are trying to reach went psycho and murdered his family and shot himself in the head. I love their response to that one.
One of the guys in my Relief team did that to Jesse Jackson...walked up to him to shake his hand and said something mostly nonsense with a few real words thrown in. Totally floored Jesse Jackson cause no one wants to admit they didn't understand you so they can't think what to say. Hilarious!!!!!
My father in law does that kind of stuff. It's hilarious to hear him talk to those guy's.
One time the Fraternal Order of Police called and when he answered the phone and told him who they were my father in law said:
"You guy's just won't leave me alone will ya. Now I paid my debt to society and I'm real sorry about what I done, so I'd appreciate you guy's not calling me all the time now that I'm a free man. If ya want to monitor me, just put one of those ankle bracelet tracking devices on me, otherwise don't call back."
He sat there a while waiting for the guy on the phone to say something, but all he heard was the poor guy hang up the phone.
A telemarketer called the other day and was like, "Hello, I am so and so from this corporation, and may I speak to Rick (my dad.)
I go, "Well, I'm sorry ma’am, but he's away in prison right now." (he's not, he's a pastor and he was right by me)
And she goes," Well, alright, umm...bye."
Then she hung up.
Funniest thing ever! We were dying laughing.