I intend to keep doing this as long as I can. It helps me also to understand the word of God. I hope that this gives some hope and understanding to all who read it.
I think it is kind of like Jeremiah 20: 7 - 9
'You duped me, O Lord, and I let myself be duped; you were too strong for me, and you triumphed. All the day I am an object of laughter; everyone mocks me. Whenever I speak, I must cry out, violence and outrage is my message; the word of the Lord has brought me derision and reproach all the day. I say to myself, I will not mention him, I will speak in his name no more. But then it become like fire burning in my heart, imprisoned in my bones; I grow weary holding it in. I cannot endure it.'