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The Anty Borrowwits Report

iwannabeacowboy

Well-known member
WASHINGTON DC- In a classic and very Presidential move, Mr. Obama has made lemonade yet again from the lemons provided by the Tea Party Terrorists. Though called jihadist, as appropriately described by Senate Majority Leader Reid, for wanting to shut down shipments of arms to Syrian rebels therefore altering the outcome of this conflict; in keeping with the Dr. Suess theme (mostly because it seems to resonate with the President's base the best, and even then, some can have difficulty following along- they are often called professors) it appears that calling these twisted political foes Grinches with a capital G is even more appropriate. They've ruined Christmas for many federal families struggling by on unemployment like commoners, while waiting for the back pay that they haven't yet missed. One paid protester said on cue when asked about his thoughts, "It is scary not knowing if this back pay will come in 2 weeks, or 2 centuries... Is that right? I mean, 2 decades. Now get my good side over hear." Many say that they understand the feeling now of the private sector, and will picket for a new equal suffering under Obama tax discussed this week so that the large unemployed populous be provided with back pay as well.

But with even more evil pouring fourth from their black little hearts, these Grinches dared to ruin the gifts Obama packaged so preciously for many of his closest of close supporters, the Affodable Care Act wavers. The President in a power move not utilized since his first Presidential term, notified the House he would not negotiate with them and pointing out how the failure is obviously their fault for not funding a non-budget and providing him with a signed blank check for him to fill in later. In addition, he scolded them because it wasn't their money anyway. Reid notified the press that he "Has the President's back and did not care how many kids with cancer had to die, its not like we haven't already fought a 10 year old from getting a new lung. They should know we aren't bluffing."

How has the President used the lemons you may be wondering? For starters, job numbers in the DC region rose sharply this week. Hiring guards for the open national parks, land and water sites was a brilliant move. It showed citizens how much they depend on the federal government, how ominous it can become, is making the unnecessary employees appear necessary, giving the press something to report so citizens don't forget about the closure, and has provided jobs. In another clearly omniscience fashion, the President has kept another major campaign promise, which is important when you campaign throughout your Presidency as Mr. Obama has done. By closing the national oceanic park waters this week with thousands of water displacing vessels being docked shore side, President Obama lowered the coastal sea levels .0000000001 of an inch. As JayZ tweeted, "Dat is how you President!"
 
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